


Awake

by SlyDirtyBlue



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Katsuki Yuuri, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Call Viktor Drake because he has trust issues, Eventual Sex, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Insecurity, Light Angst, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Masturbation, Molestation, Omega Victor Nikiforov, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character Victor Nikiforov, Rape Recovery, Safewords, Self-Discovery, Slow Build, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-01-03 20:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12154281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlyDirtyBlue/pseuds/SlyDirtyBlue
Summary: Viktor's secondary gender isn't something he could easily embrace after his past. Years on top of years of shielding himself, constant anxiety about those who are Alphas, and the fear of letting others in. He has to face what haunts him the most through self love, self exploration, and overcoming his setbacks.~~~~An Omegaverse AU where worldwide, Alpha/Beta/Omega genders are softly spoken and taught about among American children. .(Unbeta'd chapters: 4-8. Beta chapters: 1-3, 8-present)





	1. Young and Bold

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the summary is very crappy, but I was trying to keep it "short" and not spoil anything. This is my very first YOI chapter by chapter fan fiction! I'm excited and kinda nervous, HA~ 
> 
> This fan fiction in future chapters will get some sexy, full on ass play actions but it's a slow build/burn, so soon...ish. I personally like to see Viktor's insecure side so out of character Viktor is a go here due to his past causing him to be like this. 
> 
> I feel like I'm rambling, it's 1 am right now. I wanted to post this because I'm 5 chapters deep into writing this and feel like it's time to share.
> 
> Beta reader: BluSkates  
> (4/9/18)

_ December 10th, 1996 _

_ 4:37am _

 

_ Or maybe it’s 5:37, his tired eyes couldn't make out the hands on the rusty clock hanging in the corner of their basement wall no matter how hard he squinted. _

 

_ The strong musty smell of mildew stuck to the tile floor, floated in the air, and ended up flowing into his nose. He does not gag, he does not vomit at the strong smell like anyone else would, because he was used to it. _

 

_ All of this... _

 

_ He was used to way the washer would shake violently against the chipped dingy white walls due to it being overloaded with clothes. He was used to the stinking heat as the thermostat was set on the highest number throughout winter, but today it was sweltering. Sweat soaking his hair to the point it has gotten heavy, dripping down his face. Droplets of perspiration glided miserably over the curve of his nose, into his frantic panting mouth. _

 

_ Blurry blue eyes focused on the IV hooked to his inner elbow, prodding probably one of his weakest veins because it has not been done by a professional. This was no hospital, not even a room… Has he mentioned he’s in his basement? _

 

_ Drip. Drip. _

 

_ Has he mentioned his father was the one to yank him out of bed at three in the morning to bring him here, his mother following behind them, begging her husband to stop? _

 

_ Drip. Drip. _

 

_ Has he mentioned his results came in for his second gender last week and ever since then he’s been in the damp, hot basement? _

 

_ Drip. Drip. _

 

_ Has he mentioned how his father’s bloodline producing nothing but strong generations of Alpha males, one after another? _

 

_ Drip. Drip. _

 

_ Has he mentioned that his father believes he’s sick, medically and mentally, when the doctors told him that his one and only son was an omega? _

 

_ The sound of the drips went mute, his vision blurring as his surroundings dips to black. _

 

_ Seven days of him being locked in the basement, forced to sit in this uncomfortable wooden chair his father had placed in the center of their damn near-empty basement to be hooked up to an IV.  Seven days of improper blood transfusions. Seven days of donated alpha blood that his father had stolen from his job to be pumped into his son’s veins at four in the morning. _

 

_ A week of violently vomiting every few hours after he’d been unhooked and freed from the basement. A week of going to school feeling faint, running high fevers, and breaking into cold sweats in class. A week of teachers never asking if he is okay because they knew the results of his second gender came in, so they assumed his body was going through change. _

 

_ His school never spoke nor taught them what second genders are, when they would be categorized into the omegaverse system, nor educated them how handle the change their bodies would undergo. Teachers and administrators  stated it is the parent's responsibility to do such. _

 

_ But all he knows is his father is an alpha and his mother is an omega. He didn’t understand the meaning of either term. He didn't understand why his father was so disgusted with his son’s second gender.  He didn’t understand why his father would go to the point of pumping full of the wrong blood type. He didn't understand why his mother kept telling him he’s not sick like his father said. But he also didn’t understand why she couldn’t stop her husband’s actions. _

 

_ She’s not stopping him at three in the morning even as she witnessed her son being dragged by the forearm into the basement for the past week. He never understood but he could feel the tension in the air, he felt this...mental heavy weight feeling coming from his father making his body tense and whatever it was, made his mother no longer reach to help her son. _

 

_ He has never been sick, he felt fine up until his father began draining him of his blood to be replaced with alpha blood. Then, he starts feeling sick. Every day, his father chants how his son will become this almighty alpha soon, once alpha blood runs thick through him. _

 

_ He’s only six but even he knows that it not how any of this works. _

 

_ He hated this, god how he hated this...He wanted all this to stop. Please fucking stop. This entire week has been painful, miserable. _

 

_ Please. _

_ Please. _

_ Pleasepleasepleaseplease. _

 

_ He felt his head clear up, enough to come back to the surface of life. _

 

_ When was the IV been removed from his arm?  He doesn't recall. He wanted to stand up and go to his room to sleep, but his legs couldn't move. He’s alone in the basement, the sound of the wooden floor creaking above him hints someone is home but no one comes to help him up the stairs… _

 

_ The clock on the wall ticks louder, the hands on 6:12am. _

 

_ He wanted to cry but his body was so dry and felt so numb these past seven days he wasn’t sure he had the strength to produce tears. _

 

_ He tried to stand on his feet, only to collapse on the floor with a loud groan pushing out his lips. His bones feeling weak, his body feeling heavy. One deep inhale and his stomach is threatening to pour out acid on the floor because nothing else was left in him. _

 

_ He couldn’t move. His heart beating fast, his vision fading once again as he rolled on his back, his sweat-damp hair clutching every inch of his face, covering his eyes. _

 

_ Before he lost the sight of the only light on the ceiling, Viktor sobs, heaving and choking on dry cries, just like he did for the past seven days.  _

 

////

 

The alarm on his phone blares through his flat. Viktor groans, wanting to hit the snooze button but remembering that he has hit the snooze several times already. He reaches lazily to grab his phone resting on the end table.  Blindly pawing the table, he knocked half the contents to the floor, patting everything but his phone. His patience was hanging on by its last thread and Viktor desperately wanted to give up.

 

Until Makkachin rushed in to jump on the bed, licking Viktor right on the nose up to his forehead. He was about to be grumpy towards the dog but in a nano second he’s smiling to his ears at the sweet gesture his poodle has done to wake him.

 

It worked. 

 

He sat up, the navy blue and white striped blanket falls off his naked top half of his body, his hair follows. Long locks cascade over his flushed chest and shoulders, while some of the strands create this silver bird’s nest on his head. Reaching to comb his fingers through, his body reacts to an automatic yawn and stretch. Makkachin whines, nudging her head into Viktor’s side.

 

“I know Makka, I’m hungry too. Give me like,” he got a hold of his phone finally and looking at the time had him on his feet in a heartbeat. “Ahh,” he staggers around his bed to head down to his bathroom. “I'm so late. Give me three minutes, Makka, okay? Be a good girl?” He shouted for down the hall. Viktor puts his hair in a sloppy bun and hops in the shower. When finished he tames his hair, avoiding his reflection in the mirror, but once he felt his finger not be able to keep it straight down he put it back into a low ponytail. 

 

He rushes back to his bedroom, thanking his past self for actually setting out clothes last night so he can dress and dash. Viktor shrugged into a white turtleneck and slipped on his dark blue jeans, fastening the button while he hops towards the kitchen to grab the scoop for Makka’s food. He gives her freshwater and she borfs happily as Viktor sets the bowls down.

 

He leans down to place a kiss on her forehead, ruffling her curly hair before he grabbed a godforsaken nutrition bar blindly out the box from the snack bin then tells his dog to stay out of trouble. Grabbing the keys to his car he headed out the front door. His phone buzz in his pocket, causing him to flinch, clicking his tongue annoyed.

 

He did not want to answer, worried it might be the head of the school informing him that he’s running an hour late. He probably missed his first class.  Frowning, he knew his first block students would be upset. Even the kids not in his class loved him and often looked for him in between classes.

 

As strange as it may sound, he adore his students just as much. Viktor made sure that each student knew he was a welcoming adult to talk to, and as a result he had been there for many kids, not just as a professor, but as a comforting voice to go to at tough times. 

 

Viktor taught in the science department, heading the biology unit.  He focused mainly on Human Anatomy & Physiology I, a popular course at his high school.  Cleaves Mills was a small public school, which held only that holds as many as 1,000 students. He has had so many kids come to him with questions about their second gender, how they feel lost, confused, how their body is out of their control, and he was able to help all of them. Viktor took college classes especially for this, helping students transition with their second gender in a culture that kept them ignorant of their own biology.  He knows to give them the truth and all the right information, he was bias but never bias was never spoken out loud. 

 

Alpha kids went to him for advice on how to control their pheromones, to not have it flying in the air so it’s not affecting their omega friends. How to control their violent outburst, to control their aggressiveness and avoid becoming controlling of their partners. He told them what’s right and wrong as much as he could without having his body tighten up on himself.

 

_ Kids or not, they’re still alphas. They’re terrifying.  _

 

Males asked if Viktor was an omega or not because they felt abnormal when their body started to change and they needed help to understand why. What could they do to control their first heat without a mate? What if their suppressants don't work?

 

Most of his students were old enough to already have undergone their first heat, which comes when they are around 10. However, some were late bloomers, having their first heat at 16, which increased the intensity due to delay. Viktor would give them a list of things to help, almost sounding like he was a teacher for Second Gender Sex Ed not an Anatomy & Physiology teacher. He made sure to put everything in nice terms to not freak them out, but in the back of his head he screams.

 

_ Yes, I’m omega and had my first heat, age 12, without anything and was the most painful thing I had ever experience in my entire 27 years of living. Oh, suppressants? You mean the implants in my forearm to control my heat from ever happening again for a long time? How old are you, kids your age should be taking birth control. Do their parents not know how suppressants destroy your young bodies? _

 

There were a few omega kids, alpha and beta kids even, crying to him. And Viktor would hold them as they would tell him how much they hated their bodies and actions. Alphas hating how they could become so violent towards others, even dangerous around their partner, and not understand why. Omegas hating how their hips widening, their body preparing for a child. Betas who fall for either omegas or alphas, feeling that they will be inadequate to their partner, that it’s not possible for a beta to interfere with the mating cycle.

 

Viktor saw himself in all these kids and he tells them to love themselves. He tells them to embrace their second gender and learn about it, because that is who they are and nothing can change that.

 

Viktor hears the mocking laugh in the back of his head reminding him that he cannot follow his own damn advice.

  
  
  


He arrived at the school, exiting his car and shoving the nutrition bar in his mouth and…

 

_ Why are cherry nutrition bars a thing?  _

 

He grimaced at the taste in his mouth, opening the school doors with his key card and jogging down the hall to his class. 

 

“Mr. Nikiforov, you’re late!” Viktor turned to see one of his students at the locker. A beautiful black haired girl with olive skin. She gives a false pout, holding her books to her chest. 

 

Viktor pouts back. “I know, Trisha, I know. But my poor bed was too comfortable to leave~” He whines.

 

“I hear excuses, Principal Yakov wouldn’t like you thinking your bed is more important than your job!” She jokes but Viktor stops walking and looks right at her as she shuts her looker. 

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in your math class?”

 

Her eyebrows raise, eyes widen before she place a finger over her lips, shushing him. Viktor smirks and shushes her as well. He turned back around, trying his best to avoid the teacher’s lounge on his way to his class, upstairs. Surprisingly, he makes it.

 

Entering the empty classroom, a curse in with his Russian tongue flowed as he noticed he left his laptop bag with class material for the day at home. He sat in his chair, leaning his head back to catch his breath. When he leans up, his nose catches a sweet smell. On his desk was a box with a note on it, the names written by several different colored sharpies. His heart swelled as he noticed the names of his students from first block, the class he had missed that morning.

 

Opening the note he read the attempted cyrillic that translated to something he could tell was thrown in Google Translate:  _ Thank you for making a change. _

 

Grammatically wrong and the lettering of his native language sloppily written on the paper, but his heart almost burst at the gesture his students made.

 

Victor had taught at this school for only four years officially...in fact today was his anniversary. He became employed in early October, which was strange. Most schools in America start around August, so it was as if Viktor just started school with them, just a tad bit late.  The students were able to help him find his way around the building, and that encouraged a more open relationship. He watched his kids grow then graduate, gaining new students. Kids who he taught years ago would come and visit him, keeping him updated on their lives after high school.

 

_ American students are beyond strange. But the love I am given is held dearly.  _

 

What lay in the box killed him, a smile tugging at his lip to find homemade Plyushka.

 

He thought of the note and the delicious buns they gave him.  He hoped he was making a positive change, and this was proof that he was.  He knew it was more than just first block, in fact…  _ How many students do I have right now? This is from block one, holding 24 kids. I teach four blocks throughout the day? Almost 100? Wait, do I still count the kids who come visit? _

 

He snapped out his thoughts, the hall bells ringing. Viktor got out his seat to open the door for his second block students to come in. The hall filled with chattering teenagers, loud and full of life.

 

He couldn’t help to smile at students calling his name, thanking him, causing newer students tilt their heads confused and curious. Some girls giggled then whispered to their friends about how they found Viktor very nice looking. Rolling his eyes, he sighed, he had heard throughout the entire school. Even a few fellow male students would occasionally smile his way. Viktor found it flattering but he played it off as if it weren’t happening.

 

Viktor then felt his stomach tighten, his eyes looking at his loafers. His nose picked up the smell of a few alphas somewhere in the hall, blaring their pheromones. He couldn’t tell if it was a lingering smell, which cannot be controlled or if they were purposely pushing their scents out.  The scent may be that of students, but he had learned from his years of teaching there, it may also be a teacher.

 

_ Control your fucking pheromones. _

 

While he fiddles with his white sleeve, folding and unfolding, folding and unfolding, he hopes no one catches him being uncomfortable. Finally, his class is filled, the sound of chairs scratching at the floor. Chattering brought life to the room, a few students placing tiny stuffed animals, candy, and notes on his desk.

 

When the late bell rang, he closed the door and leaned against his desk as his students sat in their assigned seats.

 

“Good Afternoon class,” Viktor smiled gently, causing a few girls to giggle with blushed cheeks. The group repeated back in a cheerful combined voice, making Viktor grins.  “First off, thank you for your gifts. While I'm thankful, all of this is not necessary. I work just as hard as the other teachers here.”

 

Students boo at him jokingly, then start giving him a list of reasons why he deserves the gifts.

 

People made it seem like a nightmare when it came to teaching teengers. It’s probably a nightmare for them because they aren’t listening to them.  They aren’t there for them with open arms and minds about certain topics.

 

So Viktor was there. He was there with open arms and open ears, as for someone who grew up with neither. 


	2. Mr.Imperfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we start to see why Viktor refuse to embrace his secondary gender.  
> WARNING: This chapter will have Rape(detailed)/Child Sexual Abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to say this in the first chapter, but flashbacks are italicized. When it goes back to regular font and you see italics, it just mean it's their inner thoughts. So far all of Viktor's flashbacks are from him living in Russia with his mother and father.
> 
> Here, we also get to see how Chris and Viktor's relationship is.

Viktor has seen four more winters, but seeing four years of harsh snowy seasons did not make him any happier. The older he got, the more and more confused he was about his body. He found his hair growing long like his mother, which is normal. His height and voice was growing deeper, also all normal. However, he didn’t understand his hips getting wider, his nipples getting sensitive. He did not understand why his nose picked up these strong smells throughout the school and at home. Scents causing him to either hide away or grow sensually curious. Waking up in soaked blankets from sweat and...this clear, slick coming from his anus.

He could look up information, answers, online but his school has blocked all websites and the internet did not even exist in his household. He would ask his own mother but every time he tried to ask she looked at him as if he had asked if the devil were a lie.

He turned to his teachers, asking the least intimidating of their ranks to help him, hoping they would tell him his this change in his body was normal. He was desperate to hear anyone say it was normal because he never heard it at home. Desperate for anyone to Inform him about what Omegas were, to explain to him why he’s one and not an Alpha like his father wanted. But no one would take responsibility, no one would teach him about himself, what his body was doing...each saying he’s too young to be taught even though he was presenting right in front of their eyes.

He was left with only his classmates but he felt they were all going through the same situation as him, and all equally helpless and clueless as he was.

His state of confusion caused him to encounter other students, mostly guys, a grade or two higher cornering him outside the school when walking home. He would pick up their scent just as they picked up his. Walking faster, hoping to avoid them, never being able to… They would go on and on how sweet he smelled, how beautiful he would be begging for them like all Omegas do.

Touch him.

One of them has him forced against a wall, two behind stare like they will devour him. Breathing, he focusing on his breathing, and then feels the drag of the boy’s repulsive tongue at a spot on his neck. He cries out in disgust but his body is shaking wanting more. Thankfully, an older woman, a Beta walking by, shouted, causing the guys to run off. Viktor fell to the ground in a heap, the woman helped him up, but told him to go home where they would take care of him. Take care of him? There’s nowhere for that.

Viktor took notes, taking his own experiences and coming to his own understanding of how things worked. How Omegas give off a smell to trigger an Alpha’s behavior. He asked himself if this was how all Alphas acted. Hungry, horny animals who think with their dicks instead of their heads. His could see how his body reacted to Alpha scents no matter how off putting it was he wanted it. But he also could see that most the time the scent is used to have an Omega under their spells. Alphas kept Omegas as their personal rag dolls, little toys to batter as they chose.

Alphas were placed on top of the pyramid as Omegas were placed at the bottom. Almost like a food chain; almost like they were, as if they're animals.

At school, the air around those kids was a replica of what his father would pollute in their home. That was the day Viktor understood why his mother never disobeyed his father. The stale air was nuclear, dangerous; it made the blood in his veins run thin.

He has seen it with his mother, how his father would bark an order at her and she would hop quickly to obey him with the snap of his fingers.

It was late, his mother must have been working a double shift and his father...after finding out his one and only son was an omega, he have been treating Viktor like Casper’s cousin. Viktor wandered the house quietly, hoping not to attract his father’s attention which varied from being ignored to suffering rage fueled abuse. He was hungry, he hadn’t eaten anything since that morning, before his mother left, so he took the risk and left his room.

Viktor came down the stairs on the tip of his toes, holding his weight so the floor wouldn't creek...all just to find his father sitting lazily on the couch in only his boxers. The silver hair spun as he turned on his heels to jet back to his room but the older man caught him.

“Come here.” Something in the command wasn’t normal, Viktor felt this heavy mentality stuck to it followed the order to stand in front of his father as if compelled by something inside him and certainly not by choice. “Look at me,” a stern voice quakes through the older man’s throat, Viktor eyes do what they’re told.

Viktor hated how fast his body reacted in defiance of his brain, trying to cut off all sound. The living room was dark, his back to the tv flashing in the background, rapid Russian talking about an accident that happen a few miles away from their home.

Crisp, blue eyes, demanding.

Hostile.

“You don’t hesitate when given an order, so you’re obedient, I’ll give you that…” His father stands up to tower over him, Viktor wants to yank his eyes away but something in the air told him to keep them locked. His arms are anchored behind his back and he felt his body automatically straighten. “How old are you, Viktor?”

“I’m 10…” His voice came out automatically, Viktor marveled that he could respond without being conscious of it.

“Only 10 and you’re body is starting to change already?” Viktor was confused what his father meant but he didn’t have time to focus on it as his hair was snatched into the older man’s grasp, meaty fingers wrapping around the silver locks. He chokes on his inhale Viktor’s lungs tried to flow out, his hands reaching up to loosen the fingers wound in his hair.

“Disgusting,” his father lets go of his hair then out of nowhere, Viktor felt rough hands on his hips. “Your body is already becoming so feminine.”

Fear ran through Viktor’s blood, his body shouted distress signals, shaking at the invasive touch of his own father. A startled gasp escaped his lips as he felt his shirt being lifted up.

“Papa-” Viktor’s voice his own, even this was an act of defiance, something he had to battle through to say.

“Shut up,” the older man hissed. And Viktor’s draws in his lips, his teeth sinking into them to keep them from moving. He felt his hands ball up...hit him.

“Are you going to hit me?” The gruff voice behind him teased, knowing Viktor was helpless.

Viktor felt his lips loosen, ready to talk back but his voice was gone. For a moment they stood there silent, until his father’s abusive tug pins Viktor’s left arm higher on his back, Viktor screamed out in terror and pain. He shoved Viktor onto his knees and pushed his chest into the couch.

“Papa,” Viktor voice came out so weak, scared. Each breathe shaking and stung with tears threatening to spill.

No.

Dry calloused hands palming up his shirt more. Caressing every inch of bare skin in a back and forth motion. Fingers stroking his hips before he’s digging his blunt nails to plant there.

No.

Viktor felt him press his top heavy body on his slender back, felt the hot breath, stale with vodka, breathing on his neck, right on the same spot the other male alphas from school had tried to scent.

A rough moan is groaned in his ear, wet sloppy lips pressing on the temple of his head.

No.

Then everything stops.

Time.  
Viktor’s heart.  
His mind.  
His entire life, at the feeling of his own father’s lower half pressed against him.

Pressing hard against his rear.

“No!” Viktor somehow frees his hand and pushes the weight of his father off his back, turning around to kick him but his father is quick and caught him by the ankle. Viktor ends up on the carpeted floor. His shirt rides up, exposing his chest and Viktor made an effort to tug his shirt down but his hands are pinned down.

Viktor still tries fighting back, trying his hardest to break free, finding his voice and letting out a bloody scream he’s sure his neighbors heard.

Right then and there the room stunk of alpha. Strong and powerful, his heart beating at a dangerous rate. His eyes dilated, his breathing scattered, throat tight. In a swift movement, Viktor felt his head snap to the right, his sniffling went silent, his right cheek burning. The skin to skin contact, the crack of the awful slap, is louder than the tv in background, echoing throughout the entire house.

Viktor felt tears swell around the rims of his eyes, looking up at his father...the Alpha who has him pinned back to the ground again. The tv playing commercials, his father growling, Viktor’s jumpy breathing all filling the room with sound. There are no words. Two pairs of blue eyes but Viktor’s are screaming for help as his father’s are intoxicated, drowning in something Viktor could not read.

“You want to know what Omegas are so badly, then let me teach you.” Viktor’s body convulses at the words, the tears in his eyes begin cascading down his face. When he felt his hands be freed, Viktor took his chance to slap the man back, kicking him in the chin to get away, but his hair was pulled to bring him back.

“Guess I was wrong about you being obedient. Just like your mother I see. Lesson one,” his father pulls on his silver locks, fingernails digging in his scalp. The Alpha stood on his feet, pulling Viktor with him, his arms stretched out to try to loosen the Alpha’s grip. He brings his lips to Viktor’s ear. “You will follow your Alpha’s commands. Mate or not.” Viktor felt himself being pulled on the tip of his toes and Viktor broke, sobbing heavily.

His cries were then muffled as his body is bent over the armrest of the couch. The heavy pressure being pushed on the back of his head burying his face into the cushions, his toes just grazing the wooden floor. He felt the waistband of his pajama pants tugged down to his knees. Viktor wanted to move, fight back, but the scent in the air held him frozen in place.

“Papa, please, please no,” Russian words babble out, shaking from Viktor’s mouth, his nails clawing at the couch, tears seeping into the fabric. He’s legs shake, his pants pool around his ankles.

“Mm, begging is for another lesson. Oh just wait until your heat comes.” When he felt his underwear, the waistband of his underwear being slowly pulled down, broken sobs shot out his dry throat, violently shaking his entire body.

His own fucking body would not move but instead Viktor felt himself accepting his father’s rough touch and he hated it.

He hates it. He hates it. God, he hates this.

All of this.

His Alpha father.

His own second gender.

His body.

“Lesson two, open yourself up. When an Alpha touches you, accept it…Present yourself!”

“Papa, please! Please I'm begging, please!” Hands went from his lower back and travelled lower and lower and Viktor started to screech, kicking his legs, sobbing, pleading...Praying. “Papa, no! Stop!”

“Stop moving,” his father presses against his backside more and Viktor keens louder, his face being pushed into the cushion, suffocating him. “Present yourself.”

////

Viktor scrubbed himself with scent blocking soap under the scalding hot water. He washed, using the shampoo and condition...wash, rinse, repeat...

Three times….. okay maybe one more time?

His fifth time, he’s thinks of how his therapist would not be happy with him. They had agreed three would be his limit on good days. However, it’s not a good day. Viktor woke up smelling his Omega scent spreading through the entire flat and it made him sick. Like always, he washes himself with scent blockers, scrubbing his skin raw, trying his hardest to stop himself from smelling like a walking target.

Stepping out the shower, he caught his reflection in the mirror, frowning. He had to shave, and he needed his mirror to do this, no matter how much he despise how his face looked.

His nose was his father's, his eyes were his father's. The angle of his jaw line was his father's. However, his hair and lips belonged to his mother. His mother had long silver hair that hung to the middle of her back. Her beautiful smile, which would sometimes form a heart shape, appeared only on days when they were left alone at home. But those two features couldn’t erase the rest of him and that pain that came with them. Viktor had always and would always hate his face.

He would tell his mother it was okay to cry and he knew everything she had done was to protect him, but that was after...the incidents with his father.

Makka barked from the bedroom and Viktor heard her running towards the living room. The doorbell rang, making Viktor speed up his process. Days when his naturally produced pheromones would force their way out slowed him down. It’s only his biology trying to break through but Viktor was horrified of it. Grimacing at the tiny scar near his elbow he realized he probably had to check if his suppressants implant would need to get changed.

He does a quick shave, pulling his hair into a sloppy bun then rushing into a pair grey sweatpants and a black long sleeve shirt. He padded barefoot carpet floor to the door. Opening it to see a two toned blonde stand at his door with multiple bags in one hand. He was busy scrolling on his phone, his lips pushed out in a flirty smirk.

“Sunshine has finally let me in,” hazel eyes shift away from his phone to look at Viktor.

Viktor squirmed a little, sorry to have kept his friend waiting. “I’m sorry, Chris. I was in the shower and I didn’t know you were coming so fast.”

“I never come too fast, sweetheart,” Chris lets himself in, toeing off his shoes at the door, chuckling at the blush on Viktor’s nose. Placing the bags down at the door, he bent to greet Makka standing on her hind legs, putting her front paws on his chest. “Bonjour, Makkachin~!”

Viktor watches, wanting to smile but more distracted by the bags. “Did you-?”

“All 10 of them, plus, I found a new conditioner you might like.” Chris was rustling Makkachin’s ears, a gentle smile tugging with his facial hair when gave his attention to Viktor. “Change up your fragrance, because no one wants to smell like honey-mint forever.”

Viktor was about to ask if it’s a blocker but he keeps quiet because Chris knows Viktor.

He knows Viktor. Every detail of him as Chris is his best friend here in the States. When Viktor moved here he focus solely on his college courses. In his last year of college he meet Chris. Viktor was always iffy about talking with other people, let alone befriend one. It was to protect himself. Chris was confident and strong. Two things that Viktor wasn’t and wanted badly to be. But he was also kind, gentle, and could be silly.

But even though Viktor took suppressants and hid his scent so well that most people automatically assumed he was a beta Chris saw right through him. Chris was an omega as well.

He helped Viktor with so many life problems, especially when it came to his second gender, but also with being more confident and opening up to others. Viktor has told him everything about his past and of his father, how growing up Omega in his household was enough to ruin his current life. 

Because of his secondary and his past abuse, Viktor couldn't imagine penetrative sex, so he ran away from any relationships that could turn intimate. He would suppress his heat as soon as his implant was renewed. But there was always a heat day after the new implant was inserted, it takes a day of it too kick it. The day delay would cause his heat to show for a day, not too long nor painful.

Chris coming over was entirely common, and the blonde felt just as at home in Viktor’s flat as he did in his own home. He wandered into the kitchen to put on the coffee for both them leaving Viktor to look at the items he brought.

Viktor took the bags from the floor immediately began to install the plug-in scent blockers around his loft. Three in the living room, two in the bathroom, two in his room, one in his closet, one in his dining room, then lastly one in the kitchen where he meets Chris.

Chris handed him a cup, knowing how the Russian man took his coffee, creamer and all. He propped his elbows on the counter, holding the clear glass mug to sip at the brew. He sighs, a soft hum of approval at the toffee nut creamer and light sugar added to it.

He went back for another sip, hair escaping from his bun and falling past his eyes, almost into his cup. Chris laughs and Viktor’s eyes open to stare at the man leaning against the counter across from him.

“What?” Viktor is noticeably more at ease.

“Nothing, amoureux.” Chris was Sweden, he moved to the United States at 20 to attend university for a teaching degree in French. He taught kids in the same school as Viktor, something both men were very grateful for. 

Viktor rolled his eyes, elbows sliding wider on the counter as he took another sip before speaking. “I’m not one of your students. My French is as crisp as uncooked bacon.”

Chris chuckles again, “Sweetheart.” He had said the definition several time before, and smiled as he pushed a strand of hair out of Viktor’s face. “You don’t need so many blockers in a loft, Vitya. A house, maybe, but 10 for a space this small? Your place is fit for one and a half so it’s not like the blockers have a great length to travel.”

Viktor quirked an eye at Makka, “Who’s the half?”

Makkachin barked on cue, hopping on the couch to peek over at the two in the kitchen. Chris happily gestured to the brown poodle, smiling. Viktor blows a kiss to his dog before grabs another cup of coffee.

“What’s going on, Vicky?” Chris had a splash of tease in his voice but the rest was concerned. However, the pet name between them, Vicky, made Viktor reach out to lightly punch Chris in the arm.

“You know how I am,” Viktor blankly stared at the brown ring from the coffee around the top of his mug. He caught his reflection in the dark liquid and darted his eyes away, almost dropping the mug. Days his pheromones were out of control he camped at home. No matter how many bottles of scent blocker bodywash he poured over every inch of his skin, he did not trust himself. His home stunk of his scent; walking outside, the smell would stick to his clothes. He worried constantly that others would pick it up. All the more reason why he needed more plugins for his place.

He let Chris make the run for him, not able to leave the house in such a state. Viktor was eternally grateful for his friend, not only for running to the store but because Chris would suppress his scent before coming over knowing how Viktor was on days like this.

Chris frowned and Viktor already knew Chris could see how tried he was. He stopped Viktor from grabbing a third cup, afraid that caffeine was becoming another crutch. Viktor would fill up on it to feel awake but he would end up feeling even more drained.

Chris sighed, pulling Viktor by the arm into the living room placed a few feet out of the kitchen. Viktor settled on the couch, next to his dog, looking up at him. Chris watched as the exhausted man blinked unseeing, dried out eyes. “Alright then, guess I’m staying here.”

Viktor spun his head, “What?”

Chris quirked an eyebrow in response, “What?”

Viktor stood up only to receive a gentle push guiding him back down. Chris strolled over to grab his keys off the table, spinning the ring around his index finger. “I’ll go grab us some food and we hang out here. Aren’t Sundays days to relax?”

“Chris you don’t have to. I’m just having one of those days,” Viktor’s voice came out weak by accident.

“Which is why I’m staying here to distract you. It’s not one of those days without me.” Chris leaned over to tug his shoes on, then turned to point his finger towards Viktor. “Been friends for three years, you should be used to this. I was made for it.”

Viktor nodded his head and lean back against the couch. “Alright.”

Chris lowered his voice, adopting a faux Russian accent. “Stroganoff is fine, da?”

Viktor let his fingers comb through Makkachin’s fur, sighing. He knows he doesn't have a choice, Chris will stay no matter how hard Viktor insists...he’s grateful to have a friend like him. “Da,” he replies a little happy because he has to admit, he loves how Chris looks after him. He loves how Chris has looked out for him these past three years, even though it took the first two of those years to learn to fully trust the man. Trust was hard earned with Viktor, after a life of abuse at the hands of those who should have protected him, trust was a rare gift he bestowed on only the closest in his life.

Viktor breathed deeply as Chris left, knowing he would return and take care of him. Chris was an omega like Viktor, so he felt somewhat safe.

////

Viktor woke up cold the next morning. In my bed? He couldn’t recall when he had fallen asleep, nor how he got into his own bed.

Autumn meant cold mornings, leaves changing colors, and kids chanting for Halloween to come. Speaking of Halloween, he realized he should probably let his students do something for the school, or pass out candy himself.

Viktor sat in bed longer, his alarm for six am has yet not rung. Blinking at the digital read out he could see it was four in the morning. Turning on his side he stares at his wall, snug under his blanket trying to fall asleep again but sleep never returned. He sighed and began his routine happy to see the scent from his glands had faded but he was still wary of it. He got dress, took his vitamins, and ate breakfast.

5 o'clock.

He grabbed his keys and pocket knife before he hooked Makkachin to her collar for a morning walk. Makka loves her walks in the morning, therefore she will take her time to find that perfect spot. Pet like owner, because Viktor enjoys early walks as well. However, paranoia eats at him at the idea of someone taking advantage of him at such a dead hour, reasons he cares his knife with him. God forbids something drastic happens to him let alone his beloved dog who is his only family living with him. 

Back at his apartment, he felt his phone vibrate and found a message from Chris.

>Morning, sleeping beauty.  
>Don't forget the school is holding a teacher meeting today. Kids don't have school but we do. Here a list of things you have to bring. The meeting is at 11am. So until then, wind down a little? See you at the meeting.  
>[Link]

Viktor groaned at the time, now six am. Joy, five5 hours to himself...perhaps I can he could clean his place up, just in case my scent is lingering. 

Sighing, he bumped up the heat to 75°F and went to change his clothes to clean, only to find himself falling asleep on the couch around eight.

////

Okay so, he woke up 15 minutes before the meeting was set to start. He did, however, make it on time...just to find out the meeting was postponed until 12. Chris was standing outside the school as Viktor arrived. Teachers from different schools in the district walking in, chatting with one another.

Viktor walked up to Chris who wore a teasing smile. “Glad I gave an hour delay, knowing you.”

“No seriously, Chris. Thank you. I've been so tired lately.”

Chris slung an arm over Viktor, guiding him into the building. “I noticed yesterday when you fell asleep on my shoulder. Plus you're heavy, you don’t look it, but my god. Taking you to your room was suicide.”

Viktor cast his eyes downward, “You didn’t have to.”

He felt a finger press against his lips and Viktor felt himself blush as if he were a teenager all over again.

“I am like your partner in crime, the butter on your bread,” Chris buzzed happily, throwing his arm around Viktor’s shoulder to lean into his ear. “Lovers in the future?” Viktor only whines towards Chris’ choice of words but even he could not stop himself from forming a goofy smile.

The high school where they taught also held school board meetings almost every three months. Teachers from preschool to 12th grade attended, sharing their opinions on how to make the school better or ways to help the students. Viktor had a list of improvements he wanted to see for his students. He went to the meetings regularly, and voiced his concerns, but he knew it would be too much.

Viktor knew how important it was make children comfortable with their second genders and themselves. He wanted to get more into detail about Alphas and Omegas or have a safety talk group here at the school where students could sit and talk to others who were not Viktor to help them through tough times, omegaverse or not. A safe haven.

Viktor and Chris signed in and grabbed their name tags from the older woman at the front door. As usual, they had dry snacks out and filtered water booths with tiny paper cups set on white tables.

“You would think they would had have enough money to at least get us coffee,” Chris murmured.

“We’re not even worth crappy gas station coffee.” Viktor follows back with a reply. More and more people came pooling in, causing Viktor to grow uncomfortable. Again, he felt surrounded by adult Alphas being childish and pushing out their scent to show dominance. Chris noticed him fiddling with the hem of his light pink, long sleeve shirt.

“Let's go flirt with some other adults, hm?” Viktor didn’t have time to refuse as he felt the older male place a firm hand on the middle of his back. He stumbles but he lets himself get pushed, his heels pushing into the ground.

Viktor hissed playfully, “Are you insane?”

“Just a tad bit.” Chris smiled with a wink.

“I refuse-”

“Come on Vicky~ It will be fun to have people of your age flock about you.” Chris shoves him a little closer to the table where several other people hung out at. But Viktor found his strength, turning on his heels to have Chris stumble forward, almost falling on the floor.

Chris turned around and tried to grab onto to Viktor’s arm but the silver hair man was quick to swing it away so fast, which he unfortunately swung it into to whoever is behind him.

Viktor gasped, turning to the person he accidently hit.

“Oh! Oh, I am terribly sorry.” Both of his hands cup over his mouth then cursed softly, clasping in the center of his chest as he eyed the stain on the man’s blue sweater. It was really noticeable being in the middle.

“No, no. It’s fine,” the man spoke, he pulled at his blue sweater a little then chuckles. “It’s just water.”

Viktor was too caught up at looking at his shirt, but once he saw the man’s face he felt a blush creep on his nose a little.

The man standing in front of him had thick blue framed glasses, the underwire was silver. Short black hair, with a few strands sticking up and curling. His jawline was there but his face was slightly rounded. Shorter than Viktor by a few centimeters...and more slender than him. Their eyes may have locked for two seconds before the man was talking about another shirt, but Viktor felt like he had gotten lost in the coffee brown eyes of the man in front of him for hours.

He watched his sleek eyebrows flex in confusion and Viktor snapped back, realizing he had been caught starting as his friend stood behind him watching. Why couldn’t Chris be a normal friend and tell him it’s rude to stare?

“You spill his drink on him and then your stare? How rude, Viktor,” Chris taunts.

Oh now you tell me?

Viktor shot a glare at him before turning his attention to the other man, trying to find his name tag. Where was his tag? What is his name? Where did this man teach because he has not been seen at my school?

“No seriously, it is fine. I have my white button up under this. Water does not stain,” brown eyes said with a sly grin stretching his soft features. His eyes travel to blue ones, “Well, last time I checked it didn’t.” The grin is now a smirk and Viktor was ready to jump out the window.

Wait, let him climb to the second floor first for some high ground.

Someone announced the meeting was starting and just like that, the man his bowing for some reason before he’s running off to the bathroom probably.

The man with coffee eyes was gone.

What?

“You look like you want to chase after him,” Chris uses his childlike voice. “Let the man have his privacy in the restroom, we have a meeting to go to. Gotta do our jobs, yes?”

“Chris,” Viktor walks with him towards the auditorium where they held the meeting. “Chris, who in god’s name was that man?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alpha give off scents to either defend themselves or given off in a sensual or sexual manner. It's more so a biological situation. Here, Viktor's encounter with random alpha kids and his father, the scent alphas give off no matter if it's to defend, protect, to be intimate; his mind snaps him into thinking it's repulsive. 
> 
> Thanks for reading ^-^


	3. Déjà Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we get a little more of Viktor's past as well as how his relationship with Chris is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Viktor has not being feeling well since chapter 1, not sure if y'all been catching it~
> 
> Chapters are getting long, (5 or 6k here and there). Just informing y'all. 
> 
> Also, thank you guys for reading my story. So many people has read it, gave me kudos, left comments, even bookmarked this. I kept thinking it wasn't good enough to post. But I am grateful for those who are showing this some love~

Viktor could focus on nothing other than the man he had spilled water on throughout the entire meeting. He sat a few tables away from Viktor, but was still in sight for the blue eyes to study. Viktor watched the Asian man scratch his scalp, push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, tap his pen against plush lips before started to write down whatever whomever had spoken. Viktor hadn’t caught a word anyone had said.

“Keep that up and you’ll end up drooling on your laptop.” Chris whispers in his ear lowly and it startled him back to reality. Viktor straightened up, scrubbed the palm of his hand on his right cheek, as if he were attempting to wipe off the blush he knew he would be wearing for awhile.

He had noticed the man on the stage was one of the mayor’s staff member of the city, asking what are some changes they would like done to the schools around the distract.

Viktor had a list somewhere, god only knows if he has left it home, which would not surprise him. He dug around in his bag, hoping he wasn't making too much noise, distracting others around him. Sighing in frustration, he dug deeper in the bag. There were a series of positive changes he’d like to see in the school system.

“He must be Asian,” Chris leans forward more to inspect the man. “He did bow to you.”

“Shh, focus on the meeting.” Viktor kept his eyes on the mess of papers in his bag, receipts for endless coffees and lattes but not the one slip he’d like to find.

Chris’ head snaps over to Viktor, who has finally found his paper in his bag with a cocked eyebrow. “Oh how the tables have turned!” 

Someone behind them shushed them and Viktor nods towards the noise then back to Chris, signaling “what they said.” Chris only slides his body closer to Viktor, using his husky whisper. He took almost all of Viktor’s arm rest, flooding in his personal space but Chris could care less.

“No but seriously, Asian, right?”

“Chris, please,” Viktor wanted to squash the talk now but...now that Chris had mentioned it, he was curious if the man was Asian or not. “..you can’t tell by looking at the back of his head.”

“Oh?” Chris muses in his husky voice, swimming in tease. “Why don’t you tell me then, you were staring at him pretty hard after you threw water on him.”

“I did not-!” Viktor shouts but is shushed by someone either in front or behind him. His eyebrows furrowed as he continued in a calmer voice. “I did not throw water on him. You caused me to bump into him-”

“Korean,” Chris questioned, not even listening to Viktor’s defense. Viktor really did not want to talk about it anymore, the woman on stage was clearly looking at them now and then. Ah, but something was ticking in him at how wrong Chris was.

“I’ve seen Koreans,” Viktor spoke in French, typing down the English notes into his laptop about the changes happening to the high school late December. “He’s definitely not.”

“And here I thought your French was as soggy as wet bread,” Chris crossed on of his legs over the other to rest on his knee, his notepad slanted on his calf. Viktor was too busy typing but he couldn't hear his friend next to him click his pen over and over and over before he takes a surprise intake of breath. “Japanese?”

Viktor felt a smile tug on his lips. “Now you’re getting somewhere.”

The meeting went on for hours and Viktor just wanted to go home to his dog and catch up on grading his students work to have the weekend off. People expect Viktor to be this outgoing person on the weekends but in reality, he never was the one to hang out with other people.

Chris would try his hardest to get Viktor out of the house and make new friends, even tried to get him dating. Viktor hadn't admitted it out loud, not even to his closest friend, but he was terrified of the idea. New friends were hard enough, but he was sure his nerves would be on fire every time being around an Alpha. He does talk to the other teachers at the school, as well as a few of his students’ parents, but never had the need to hang out with any of them. He was most comfortable staying at home with his Makka and occasionally having Chris over.

Dating was a whole other ball park. The thought that he would have to mate with an Alpha and live his life like his mother had horrified him. Viktor knew all Alphas were not like his father...but there remained a part of him screaming about how history repeats itself, how he would bond with someone who was abusive and only wanted Viktor to breed them Alpha children.

Viktor had tried to be with someone several times, but a relationship required a trust that Viktor wasn’t able to give. He never spoke about his past to any of his partners, most who were held at an arm’s distance and never got any further than a quick peck on the lips. But there were times others got too close way too fast and Viktor would cut things off. He had thought about being with a special someone, wherever this someone is in the universe.

Viktor had met and hung out with Chris and his mate. Chris married an Alpha, even bonded with him. Viktor admires the relationship Chris and his mate have, domestic and loving. He even saw how sweet Chris’ mate treats him. Through them Viktor can see first hand that not all Alphas are like his father. However, growing up like he did, that fear was drilled in his head, the intense fear that he would be nothing more than a rag doll for his future Alpha mate, to obey and present. 

But what his father did worst of all was to make loathe his second gender. The man had shaped Viktor’s fear of Alpha’s but also forced a self-hatred into his only son. His father made the fact that Viktor was an Omega appear disgusting and Viktor feared he would always see himself as that.

His mother tried to tell him constantly he was normal but it was too late. He’s been wanting someone to tell him for years his body and being Omega were normal. The first time she was able to talk to Viktor about his second gender was during his second heat. She there for him, feeding him and supplying him water outside his bedroom door.

Viktor was grateful she helped, mainly because she kept his father from being able to get to him. His father didn’t want his wife to find out he had been molesting, so he stayed out the way.

Viktor thought he understood why his mother never help him while his father kept him locked in the basement or why she never properly informed him about his second gender. “Double shifts” at work was her way of trying to find a way out of the house and away from her husband. She eagerly took shifts, working extra hours to save up to leave the man who had threaten to kill him for being an Omega just like her. How the man wouldn't hesitate to strike Viktor if she was dared to interfere.

So far Viktor had gone through three full heats and each and every one of them made him feel degraded and inhuman. His first heat however...involved his father.

Viktor was threatened to keep his mouth shut during the nights his father would touch him when his mother was gone. So Viktor never told his mother about it until she came home to the smell of a sexual encounter of an Alpha and an Omega in heat. After searching the entire house for another Omega, she found Viktor, knees to his chest, head in his arms, in an empty tub of their bathroom. Littered with bruises and a small amount of blood pooling where he sat. 

When Viktor turned 18, his mother took him for suppressants so he didn’t have his heats. When he turned 19, his mother and he arrived at an airport with nothing but his backpack, passport and green card.

That airport was something he would never forget. His mother crying, holding him as she kept saying she was sorry. Sorry she wasn’t there to protect him even though if she had they would both have been killed. She tried to tell Viktor he was a beautiful, strong Omega. Then went on about what a real Omega is.

And Viktor tried and tried to understand and accept but the damage had been done...He could never see himself as the Omega his mother described. But he nodded his head, saying he loved her and appreciated what she said. 

Three flights for Viktor, two flights for his mother who had decided to stay in Pennsylvania. Viktor spoke limited English at the time. His mother raised enough money to pay for his rent for a year at a place she had already found in Illinois. He was alone in Illinois but it was safest this way, his father could never find them if they split up. Thankfully, his English improved and he was able to get a small job to and work his way through college to complete his degree.

Now, as Viktor sat in the auditorium of the school he taught in, he definitely wanted to go home to his mother. Viktor looked at his laptop and somehow he was typing in Russian. When did he shift his keys to Cyrillic? He couldn’t recall. As he was backspacing to retype in English, Chris jabbed his elbow.

He snapped his attention towards him only for Chris to nod at the stage with a smirk. Viktor looked up at the stage, no longer seeing the woman who was staring at Chris and him for rudely talking under her, but to see the black haired Asian walking up to the mic. 

Viktor blinked several times before his eyes observed the man once again but this time taking in each and every detail. He wore his white button down shirt cuffed and pushed up a little on his forearms with his khaki pants. He pushed his glasses on his nose for the seventh time they’d been in the auditorium...not that Viktor had counted. Viktor could hear the small whispers behind him, asking if the man was new or a substitute teacher. Viktor would be lying if he didn’t want to know himself.

“Um, hello,” the man spoke, a little nervous. He scratched at the back of his head before reading off the notes in front of him. “You are probably wondering if I am new and yes, that is the case. My name is Kas- Yuuri Katsuki, I’m a preschool teacher a few blocks from this high school.”

“Ding ding, Japanese. We have a winner.” Chris pats Viktor’s back and Viktor waves his hand away as he’s trying to listen to the angel on stage. He didn’t speak much, he did stumble a bit on words because he was anxious. He spoke how he wanted the kids he was working with to have more hands on activities and teach them to treat each other as equals. He went on to talk about he loved his students and the emotion in his voice spoke the truth. He had this loving gesture to him and this soft vibe, he must be a Beta. Viktor couldn’t smell the spice of Alpha or the floral fragrance of an Omega floating on him. 

The mayor asked if there was anything needed from the high school department and Viktor was about to shove his list back in his bag after looking for it for five minutes, but Chris pushed him up to go. He went up on the stage, pushing the loose strands of his hair behind his ear before he cleared his voice to talk.

He introduced himself even though the whole district knew about him, but he did it to inform Yuuri. He tried not to glance in his direction as he read his list. He knew there would be things on his list that would raise eyebrows and concerns. Like the after school Second Gender Club he wanted to form.

“I wanted my students to have a place to go to where they can feel comfortable with who they are. They are teenagers, young adults who are confused and unsure of their bodies and minds and the start of this club could create change. Where I was raised, I wasn't informed properly about Second Genders and I do not want to see the same confusion in these young, beautiful children. Coming to teach here, I’ve helped multiple students and I wanted a club where other students, even other teachers give these adolescents food for thought.”

Many of the staff applaud his idea, but a handful gave wary looks, and the mayor seemed borderline on approval or denial. He sat down back at his seat next to Chris with a small frown, only for Chris to pat him on his back saying how he thought it was a great idea.

The meeting ended several minutes later, the auditorium slowly pouring people out and their loud chattering. Viktor heard a few teachers muttering about how crazy his idea was, how it should not be a teacher’s responsibility. 

“I don’t know, I just find it rude. Wouldn’t we be replacing their roles as parents?”

“My kids are perfectly fine, they’ve been taught since they were six .”

“But there are not enough parents out here to support and influence their kids in the right direction. I agree with him.”

“He’s Beta for crying out loud, he does not know what second genders are or what people can go through personally.”

Viktor snapped his head up at the last statement, trying to find the voice it traveled from but Chris rose and stood in front of Viktor, holding his hand out for him.

“Let's go out for dinner,” Viktor didn’t grab his hand, his frown on his face dropping lower, so Chris took the chance to take his hand to lift him up. “On me.”

He did not bother to protest as Chris was trying to distract him from the annoying voices around them. Adults were so closed minded and selfish at times. Were they not lost like Viktor was when he was little? Did they not want kids to know how to protect themselves in the long run?

Chris went to the restroom, telling Viktor to stay put then they would go out to eat. Viktor prayed it was not going to be that god awful restaurant down the street from his place. The alcohol was good, but the food was bland and boring. Viktor leaned against the wall, his eyes looking at his feet as he waited.

He heard the voices dying down but footsteps slowly walking towards him.

“Mr. Nikiforof?”

“Nikiforov,” Viktor corrected, his head lifting up, only to find Yuuri Katsuki in front of him. Viktor saw how his body stiffened at his tone. He probably sound annoyed, in which case he was, more so pissed off about the group of people debating if he was Beta or not. Or he could have been reacting to Viktor shoving his hand further in his pocket when Yuuri gestured his hand out to be shook.

“Mr. Nikiforov, my apologies.” Viktor was about to apologize on his end for coming off rude...he just didn’t like touching other people. Viktor watched the black haired man clutch onto his strap to his black laptop bag as he continued. “I wanted to stop you before you left out, thank goodness I found you. I wanted to inform you, your idea on an after school group is beyond an amazing idea. I've heard so much about you.”

Oh?

Before Viktor could get the flustered man in front of him to talk more on how he has heard about him, Chris came out the restroom.

“Here’s an improvement the school needs, 4-ply. These poor kids are wiping with half-ply-” His attention shifts to Yuuri’s in a swift heartbeat. “Well hello, Mr...Um?” 

“Mr.Katsuki.”

“Ah, yes, the cute Japanese man who teaches preschool?” Chris eyes shift over to Viktor quickly with a teasing smile before he reached his hand out for Yuuri to shake. “Mr.Giacometti. You can call me Christophe if the name is too hard for you.”

There was this tint of pink blossoming on Yuuri’s face and Viktor wanted to take a picture of a stranger and keep it in his wallet in his entire life. Yuuri shook his hand only to have Chris kiss the flat surface above his knuckles. There was a high pitched chime coming from Yuuri’s pocket

Yuuri pulled his phone out then blushed harder than before at whatever the screen was flashing at him. 

“Yuuri,” a voice travels from the end of the hallway, bouncing off the white walls plastered with poster board. Chris and Viktor blinked their eyes at Yuuri who only became more flustered.

“I-I have to go,” Yuuri said, bowing halfway as if he only just realized what he was doing wasn't the right movement then shook Chris hand and nodded his head towards Viktor who still had his hand in his dress pant pockets. “It was nice meeting you two.”

They watched as he ran down the hall to a smaller, darker skinned man wearing a snapback and long black jacket, and Viktor already started making notes. When they left the building, Viktor turned over to hit Chris upside the head. Chris hisses, rubbing the spot in return with a whine.

“You’ve been hurting me all day, Viktor!” 

“You kiss his hand? Really?”

“Oho? Jealous are we?” Chris sings, tugging at Viktor’s hands towards the exit. “You better act fast before I take him.”

“I don't think your husband would be okay with a third party.”

“Oh? I-”

“No, nevermind, I was mistaken.” Viktor shakes his head, stopping him before Chris brought up the threesomes he and his mate may have recently had. Chris walked Viktor to his car. 

The sun was finally dropping and it got colder that night. Viktor felt his typical headache dig at his temples. Chris noticed then apologize for keeping him out so long, but the dinner was worth it. He would not miss out on a thick cut of steak and good wine. 

Chris let him eat but kept the conversation going by taunting him about the preschool teacher. Chris wouldn’t let Viktor forget how he stared at him for almost two hours.

“Viktor, I am serious, I’ve never seen you so into someone before, it’s like watching a bird fly for the first time.” Chris swirls his red wine in his glass before he takes a sip then reached across to tap Viktor on the wrist. “Mm, tell me Viktor, do you believe in love at first sight.”

Viktor nearly choked on his own laughter. “You’re ridiculous,” Viktor went back to running his knife through his steak for a biteable size. He was trying to hide his face because the topic of relationships still made him uneasy, so very uneasy.

“Haven’t you heard ‘go with your heart’? Some powerful shit. There’s food for thought.” Chris stopped talking, seeing if Viktor was in his own head, which he was. “Come on, you have to at least say he’s cute?”

Viktor was damned and may have smiled at the last part. Viktor tucks his hair behind his ear more, tilting his head a little. “Chris, I’m 27 years old. Aren’t I too old to giggle like a little girl in middle school?”

“You’re open to the floor for a 30 seconds.” Chris whips out his phone to pull up his timer. 

“Chris-”

“Aaaaand, go~”

Viktor peeped at his phone on the table counting up and when he saw there was 20 seconds left, Viktor broke, words flying out his mouth.

“Did you not catch him smirk at me when he was telling me about the spill on his shirt? He was flirting with me, right? I know I was staring when I lost count how many times he adjusted his glasses. He has to be at least in his early twenties. What if I don’t get to see him again? I-”

“Time.”

“No, Chris, really. What if I don’t meet him again?” 

“I’m sure you will, he works only a few blocks down from us, plus we have meeting here every damned month.”

Viktor was thinking right then and he snapped back to reality, leaning back in his chair. “What is his second gender…” Viktor meant to ask himself but the words tumbled out his mouth. Chris only hums and Viktor looks across the table to find soft eyes.

“Viktor, if I was an Alpha, would you still be friends with me?” The question stuck in the air, making Viktor sit up more. Silence filled open spaces for Viktor to fill but nothing came out. He was about to open his mouth for his answer but he paused, trying to find a better one. He had to really think about it. Chris spoke again, “Even better question, what if I told you this entire time we’ve been friends I was actually an Alpha. We’ve been friends for three years, almost four, and I tell you I am something that makes you uncomfortable.”

“But you’re not, Chris,” Something right there, the air became heavy and he heard the patience in him snap. His voice went sour. 

“Your father damaged you so much, you’re practically a chair from Ikea.” Viktor lowered his head, the tone in Chris voice cut an old wound. “Nobody wants to sit on you because who knows when you’ll break. You won’t let anyone near you because someone took a seat and broke it, now you’re all fixed up and you don't want anyone to break you again.”

“Chris, what are you even talking about?”

Chris sighed and Viktor saw how hurt he was about the subject as if it happened to Chris himself. “I’m saying someone built you with the wrong nails and screws then you build yourself over with the same shitty nails and now you think you're good as new!”

Viktor wanted to understand whatever the hell Chris was talking about but his analogies were always bizarre. Nails and screws, it didn’t make sense to him. Viktor only nodded his head, his attempt to drop the conversation.

Chris dropped the topic, knowing he could only get so far with Viktor about his problems without Viktor blowing a gasket on him. Viktor was about to split the check but Chris already paid for both meals. He was going to complain, but complaining only made Chris buy his next meal.

He thanked Chris for the night and when he entered his place, he went straight for the shower. He was tried, trying his best not to doze off under hot water, wishing his hands would stop being so damn cold. After his hands felt warmer, he steps out his shower with his hair still dry. He made his way to his bedroom to find Makkachin sitting at the foot of his bed. 

Viktor put on some sweatpants then a long-sleeve shirt, walking over to turn the heat up higher. It was only 65 degrees out but his blood said 20. Viktor got in the bed, pulling his comforter over his shoulders to get comfortable in bed. 

It wasn't even 11 yet but Viktor knew if he did not sleep now, he wouldn’t make it to teach his class tomorrow. 

Even though he tried to go to sleep, his mind kept him up again.

His hands were cold, his headache grew worse. Viktor only hoped he’s not getting sick.

/////

A few weeks passed but each day felt sticky and his body felt weaker with each passing day. He thought it was a cold so he tried to medicate himself to continue work.

But one Thursday morning, Viktor’s body had betrayed him. 

A floral fragrance hung in the air mixed with sweat and musk. Heat radiated off his body, heat flashed with every harsh intake of breath. 

Viktor woke up breathing fast, sharp pains ached in his lower stomach, sending his legs shaking.

Viktor bent his knees on his bed, a painful moan slipped out his lips as he felt slick dampen his underwear and sweatpants. Viktor stared at his ceiling, blinking fast to get rid of his tears and clear his vision but it blurred with more. 

“No, no.” Viktor huffed, turning on his side, shifting his knees to his chest to feel himself stiff from the waist down. The confirmation made Viktor clutch his pillow to bury his face in to muffle the god awful sounds he was making. He curses when a heat flash washed over him, his entire body shaking.

“No, please no.” Viktor sniffled, trying to gather his thoughts on why his body was going into an unexpected heat. He doesn’t have to get his suppressants renewed until his birthday? His last one was when he was 24, but the implant should last for three full years. It’s October, not December.

Viktor whimpered, feeling his erection strain against his briefs, spilling precome to ruin his underwear further. He took his hand, sliding down to grab himself under the layers of clothes he’s wearing. Taking himself in his hands snatched a gasp from his lips and Viktor’s face twisted in disgust, stroking at his length.

Viktor hated touching himself, although climaxes are suppose to be blissful and electric, that was not the case for him. His therapist even told him mastubation is a way to find himself again, to make him become sexually comfortable. 

His fist tightened around himself, flicking his wrist faster, burying his face into his pillow, stifling his moans because he disliked how he sounded. He pants into his pillow, collecting his hot breath, heating up his face more. He thrust his hips into his fist and his face rolled away from the pillow and before Viktor could let out a moan, which to this very day he wasn’t sure if it’s moans of pleasure or relief, he flattened his hand against his mouth to stop his voice. He released himself into the palm of his hand, sweat trickling down his forehead, his hair sopping wet, tangling and bunched up. 

Viktor tried to catch his breath but the throbbing pain twisted in his stomach stirred and he bounced back from his climax, the skin around his dick tighten as he grows hard again. He wiped his hand on his already messy blanket and reached out to grab his phone, the blinding light read it was four in the morning. There was no way he could balance himself before school. He frowned at how his students would be upset but they don't need to see him like this. Viktor texted Chris, telling the other Omega that he went into a temporary heat, then sending another text to his boss that he wouldn’t be able to come in due to medical reasons.

Viktor attempted to stand up on wobbly legs, trying to make it to the bathroom. Makkachin borfed then whined with concern when she notice Viktor was not feeling well. He clutched his stomach, nails digging into the fabric of his damp shirt, one hand on the wall to steady himself. 

Come on, the bathroom is right across the room. 

He made it to the door and leaned all his weight on it, trying to gain his breathing back a little but his heart kept beating faster as his lungs filled too fast and breathed out too little. 

Tears filled Viktor’s eyes once again, heavy huffs left him as he felt himself falling to the floor. He was probably staining his carpet with his slick drenched pants but he did not care at the moment. He drew his knees to his chest, his back against the wall, head digging in his crossed arms that rested on his knees. He did not know how much time had passed but he heard locks from the front door turn.

“Viktor,” over the sound of his erratic breathing and sobs, he heard someone call his name. He didn’t have to see who it was because when the other person came up the stairs in a hurry, it was all deja vu.

He remembered he told Chris when days happened to never call off work for him but something about the man made him hard headed and went against what Viktor would ask for.

Viktor tried to clear his thoughts and recall when he gave Chris a key to his house then remembered he gave him a copy when he left the state to visit his mother. He apparently never gave the key back nor did Viktor ever recalling asking for it back. Maybe faith was watching over him and let this happen because Viktor felt so weak and couldn't move like he wanted to.

“Come on, up we go.” Chris grabbed Viktor by the arm to lift him up and Viktor tried to find something to cover his face with. This was Chris’ second time ever seeing Viktor in this state but today was more intense, twenty times worse than last time. He remembered when Chris stopped by on Viktor’s grace day when he had to get his implant fixed due to misplacement and managed to trigger a 24 hour heat he had to struggle with.

Chris gave him water, fed him, left the room when Viktor had to touch himself to water down the pain coursing through him. Viktor was better the next day. 

This was different. Viktor sunk back to the floor, gasping as his body spasmed, releasing himself when another heat flash travels from head to toes. Coming untouched, his face burned red from embarrassment and the blood boiling in his veins. Chris sighs at Viktor's cries and gasps, going to bathroom. Viktor hears bath water running.

He also heard Chris walk around, pacing trying to find things for Viktor. He came stop in front of him, cellphone in hand to give to Viktor. 

“Sweetheart, pull up your doctor’s number,” Chris soothed, pushing Viktor’s hair out his face, taking a scrunchie from his free hand before he crouched down to place the silver hair into a bun. Viktor did as he was told with shaky hands then hand it back to him. Chris went to the bathroom to check on the tub, asking for Viktor's doctor for an emergency visit.

Suppressants did nothing but ruin one’s body and suppressing a heat for so long would make his grace day more intense and painful than the last one from what his doctor told him when he got his implants his 24th birthday.

But this was not a grace day and it concerned Viktor. He only had those the day after he got his new suppressant.

It’s October, it’s fucking October, what the fuck.

Chris got off the phone with Viktor’s doctor, squatting down to cradle his face in his hands to bring him into focus. “Hun, your doctor said you’re going to enter a heat haze for a few hours, alright? Breathe with me,” Chris took a deep breath in then out and Viktor copied him. His eyes blown out, head feeling fuzzy and Viktor needed something. Anything to bring him down. 

“You’ve been holding back full heats, it’s finally catching up to you. We’re going to get you in the tub to cool you down but until then, when your haze is done, we have to take you to your doctor, okay?” Viktor nods his head, his eyes shutting, mind blanking out.

Viktor felt Chris pull him up, carrying the majority of his weight to take him to the bathroom. “I need you to strip and get in the tub, can you do that, mon chèr? I’ll go take care of Makka, but I'll be right back for you.”

Viktor struggled for almost five minutes but finally he got of his clothes and climbed into the tub. Freezing cold water gave him goosebumps on every inch of skin as he sat down. 

It’s natural. This is all natural. It was natural to have sex when an Omega’s heat comes around, yet Viktor kept pushing it down and touching himself there was beyond unbearable. But Viktor’s inability to touch himself made days like this a nightmare. Today was beyond a nightmare. He was in hell, telling from how hot his body was, even in cold water. 

Viktor felt himself grow hard, his length curving in the water, bile rose up in his throat.

Chris came into the bathroom with bottles of water and a bowl as if he knew and quickly hands him the clear bowl to empty his stomach. Hiccuped sobs broke in between his heaving before he was emptying nothing but acid. 

“C-chris, n-n-no.” His body lifts up in the water at the intense pain, nailing digging in the plastic bowl in his hands as he felt himself coming untouched again. 

Disgusting. 

Humiliating. 

“P-please don't lo-look at me. Please.” Viktor begs over his quaking breath. His head falls backwards, hitting it hard against the back of the tub. 

Chris took the bowl away from him and shushed him, lifting his head to take a dry towel to his forehead. 

“I've been here before, Viktor. This is normal for someone who hasn't had a proper heat. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Viktor wanted to scream, tell him how wrong he was even though all the studies Viktor had read proved Chris was right. He did not understand.

“Do you have any toys? Like, a knotted dildo-”

“Why in God's name would I have one,” Viktor snaps back loudly, his hands gripping in the edge of the tub, his teeth sinking at the bottom of his lips to silence his moans, growling instead. 

“You know more than me but last time I checked, penetration would make your heat more bearable.” 

Viktor yelps, clutching his stomach as it felt like someone poured gasoline and set it on fire. Felt as if someone was stabbing him in his gut and groan over and over and over and over again. 

Chris frowned, handing him a bottle of water but he didn't take it because Viktor was drawing up his knees to his chest, panting. 

“Viktor, you need to stay hydrated.” Viktor was no longer there. The water he sat in was cloudy and warm, his heartbeat feel like it's at a dangerous pace and he couldn't breathe.

He slipped into the darkness of his mind and the last thing he remembered was sinking into the water and Chris calling for him.

/////

White. 

The color of the lights burning his eyes. 

The color of the walls he was surrounded by.

The color of the bandage that wrapped around his arm where his implants used to be.

The color of his knuckles as they gripped multiple forms in shaking hands. When he looked down at the paperwork in his grip, he felt vomit claw at his throat, tears throbbing at his eyes. 

Bold letters informing a new medication he needed to take. Sentence after sentence stating medical facts and warnings. He read it over and over again. 

Over and over again. Over and over again. 

“-s completely normal for this to happen.” Viktor comes back at the female voice speaking words in a caring tone. He could only bat his silver eyelashes and shake his head in denial. 

“No, no, this doesn't make sense. I've been on time for all of my suppressants.” Viktor head snapped up, clutching the forms in his hand, ready to ball it up to throw it in the trash bin across from him. His voice cracked as he put emphasis when he spoke. “Each and every one of them.”

The room silent, his doctor ran a hand through her red hair and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees, her chin resting on folded hands. She's been telling Viktor the same thing several times, but Viktor was stuck in this loop of rejection.

“Mr. Nikiforov, you're a 27 year old Omega male. Suppressing your full heats for so long has been extremely dangerous. Tell me, when is the last time you've had a full heat?”

“Not since I was 18, but-”

“Nine years? And you believe you can keep drugging back your will against mother nature?”

“So you take my implants out and are giving me birth control? Do you not know how much my second gender would be on display?” 

“We took them out because your body is no longer able to make use of it. Yes, your scent will be noticeable, you'll have bimonthly heats and due to delay, they will be severe alone. If anything, you'll need to find a heat partner or-”

“Why can't you just put another three year implant in me,” Viktor nearly shouts, slamming the papers next to him on the sanitary papering he was sitting on. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears and hear thick saliva get caught in his throat. Viktor was scared. Terrified he would have to walk around, accepting something he is but refuse to embrace it. 

“Viktor, you're not understanding this at all. Your body can no longer resist what it was naturally made to do. I'm not saying you have to get a mate right away but you will have a heat bimonthly plus, not having a heat partner to keep you level will put you at risk for serious medical issues.” 

Viktor felt weak, like his ten year old self, lowering his head and his shoulders stiff to stop himself from trembling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heat Haze: The peck of an Omega's heat. An omega will black out mentally and only can focus and cares about their physical needs to be completely sedated and satisfied.(Or I'm probably wrong and making up my own rules, fight me)
> 
> Thanks for reading~~~
> 
> Comments are appreciated (*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)


	4. Meltdowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's POV  
> Italics in the beginning takes place in Japan.  
> We get to see some good 'ol Phichit + Yuuri friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, we'll get Viktor and Yuuri interaction soonish. But one of the main points of this story is to grasp how messed up America's education system is towards 2nd Genders. 
> 
> I am grateful for all of those who are still reading.

The word was never toxic but neither was it a word spoken around his household. There was no point?

His mother was a beta.   
His father was a beta.   
His sister even was stated as a beta.

But the stars in the sky had shifted, the planets must have went out of order as Yuuri was born something his family was not sure how to raise. As he got older, his parents noticed how he was different from the time they’ve raised Mari, but they saw it as him being a boy. 

But his mother wanted to know just in case and took a DNA test on Yuuri on his 9th birthday.

Alpha blood ran through his veins, it started to bounce off his skin to tell his surroundings what he’s capable of. In spite of that, he did not know exactly what he was capable of.Children would steer away from him in class. No matter how much Yuuri wanted to make friends and talk to other students in his class, no one would talk to him or come near him and he did not understand.

Students he did interact with were aggressive and rowdy towards others students and he refused to be friends with them because it wasn’t his crowd of people. However, refusal made his school life a living nightmare. He was met with alpha students telling him to man up, mark territory, how he should be courting omega females.

Yuuri attempted to do just that, but he found himself staring at a few boys from class 1-A now and then instead of the girls. When he wanted to try to get someone, he tried and tried to find females but he end up wanting the guys who gave off a scent they shared with some females. 

He kept that to himself, however. 

The “Man up” stage happened and it was the last stage Yuuri every wanted to come across as it was the stage that made him loathe himself. 

He remembers a few students crowding over some girl during lunch and something in Yuuri told him to step in but another part told him to join them. When he got arm distance, Yuuri was overpowered by whatever his nose was picking up strange scents. His own, the spices of the other boys and the floral scent shooting out of the poor girl they had cornered.

Yuuri fought whatever was holding him back and he runs for it. He pulls on the girl’s wrist and the monster, hungry glares his fellow classmates made towards him triggered a violent rumble in his chest. It echoed throughout the entire lunch room and the other alphas were quick to stand down and back away for Yuuri to pull the girl with him to a safer area. 

She was short with bouncy light brown locks and watery green eyes. After they were out of sight, Yuuri was about to turn to check on the girl but she was quick to get on her knees, bowing her head so low to the ground her, if she’d blink, the dirt on the ground would catch on her eyelashes.

“Please don’t hurt me,” she cries. Yuuri was confused and wanted the girl to get off the ground so she would not mess up her dress. Why would he hurt her? He saved her from the guys in the lunchroom. Yuuri was about to kneel until he saw the girl claw her nails in the gravel and right then Yuuri could have swore he smelled an emotion, if it was even possible. 

Yuuri then heard the girl sobbing as she kept asking him not to hurt her, and Yuuri felt remorse burn in his chest and thought it was best to leave her there. So he ran. Where? He did not know, he did not care; all he knows is he ran off school grounds. The sun fell, the stars came out, and Yuuri found himself at the nearest park, hiding under the slide, clutching his knees to his chest. 

Yuuri sat there on the ground, looking up at the stars and he started to ask why he was so different from his family, why he was different from the other alpha kids from school?

This is not the first time he has been in a situation where his fellow classmates would pressure him to be something he's not although it was in his nature. But Yuuri refused to believe he had to be aggressive and forceful towards omegas. His parents told him to be himself, go with the flow of things but never told him how to behavior as an alpha. Maybe because Yuuri never asked them because he felt so out of place in his own home. 

His heartbeat shallow in his chest, his mind running blank. 

“Yuuri,” a familiar voice call for him. Yuuri knows who it is but he did not look up as he continued to draw circles in the sand. Mari always knows where to find him on days like this. She ends up sitting down across and Yuuri saw in the corner of his eyes she held a notebook in her lap but he quickly went back to draw loops in the sand with his fingertip.

“Bad day at school,” Mari asked softly. Yuuri did not answer, another things she knew he would do so she kept silent until he wanted to speak. She drew circles in the sand with him, giggling when their fingers bump each other when they end up making figure eights. 

“I'm sorry I’m a mess up, Mari.” Yuuri’s finger stopped, his his eyes shut tight. “I’m sorry I can't be normal like you guys, I’m sorry,” Yuuri begun to cry, his breathing stuttered and his body shaking as he attempted to cover his face to hide how disgusted he felt. His older sister grabbed his shoulders to bring him into an embrace.

“Hey, hey, shh,” Mari soothed, rocking him to calm him before an anxiety attack hits him. She stroked his hair, kissing the top of his head. “Yuuri, you are fine.”

Something in Yuuri snapped at the word ‘fine’ because Yuuri felt everything but fine. He felt crowded and shoved his older sister’s hand off the top of his head as he got up from the ground. Yuuri spilled his bottle of emotions he has been hiding from his family, from himself, from clouds in the sky. It poured out his heart, flowed out his mouth, felt through the pulse of his tear ducts, threatening to spill so many tears.

“But I’m not fine, Mari! You don't understand, you’re a beta! So is mom and dad and all the alpha kids at school are the complete opposite of me yet we are the same. I don't want to be like those alpha kids! They’re scary! I don't want people to be scared of me because of something that doesn’t fully define me, understand?” 

Tears fell down his chubby cheeks as he sniffled, palming at the waterworks with shaky hands. He could feel Mari’s eyes on him but she gave him space and continued to sit on the ground. 

“And-and-and, alpha kids keep telling me to aim for omega females but I keep lo-looking at omega and beta boys and I feel so sick all at once because I know it’s wrong but I cannot help it.” Yuuri lips trembled, he covered his mouth, shocked he mentioned his interest in other males. Behind his hand, he muttered something to himself but Mari heard him. 

“You’re Katsuki Yuuri, my annoying little brother.” Yuuri bowed his head to stare at his toes, twining his thumbs, attempting to catch his breath. He knows his name and related to Mari, so he said it louder.

“But what am I?”

Mari stood up, still not touching Yuuri but instead grabbed the notebook she brought with her. “Because Mom and dad does not know how to fully educate you on such topic but because you’re not a beta does not mean you’re a mess up, Yuuri. You got that?”

Yuuri nodded his head then his head was lifted up by Mari raising his chin up to face her. She smiles softly when she let go and Yuuri kept his head up. 

“I did some research, I even asked among others people who are like you.”

Yuuri tilts his head at her words. “Why?”

“Because I want my little brother to embrace who he is and know the proper information ,” she winks at him, opening the notebook to the first page. “It’s difficult for us because our family tree has as a small handful of Alpha blood in it. Did you know great great grandpa was one, who has also dated a male omega.”

Yuuri’s eyes went wide and Mari’s expression was soft, she continued to flip through the pages then realization hit because he knows great great grandpa had kids.

“Omega males can get pregnant?” His voice was a whisper but Mari heard with her super sonic ears of hers. 

“Yes sir, and two generations ago, mom’s great grandmother was a omega dating an omega. My point is, you can date whomever you want, Yuuri. Male or female, alpha, beta, or omega, you know how open our family is, we’ll accept you in all kinds of forms.”

Yuuri sat back down then pat the spot across from him for Mari to sit. She did, handing the notebook to Yuuri, scooting closer to point out some kanji Yuuri wasn't fully aware of. 

They sat outside long enough for the crickets to start chirping and the owls to start calling. Mari took time out her days to help Yuuri grasp a better understanding of his second gender. She took time out her night to sit at the park to comfort Yuuri and inform him on things he would have to face when he got older.

One of the bullet points caught his eye and he held it dear. 

‘Alphas have a heavylike air surrounding them and it’s never meant to be there to scare others for fun or be controlling of others but to protect loved ones and themselves.’

Yuuri points at it, “To protect?”

Mari hums in approval. “Your family. And in the future, you’ll protect the man you’ll one day fall in love with and the family you’ll make with him.”

Yuuri felt his face burn at Mari’s heartfelt tease about him liking boys but in the end, Yuuri’s chest felt light for the first time in years for he was not to be bold and terrifying but to be strong and protecting.

//////

“Yuuri please, please. You have to tell me!” Yuuri signs up at the ceiling in response at sound of an overhype man at their front door of their apartment. 

“Can you please open the door, it’s been a long day,” Yuuri almost whined at the fact his bed was on the other side of the locked door which his friend was blocking, acting like he couldn’t find the key.

“Are you going to tell me which one was that Viktor man you keep talking about?”

Yuuri’s tongue clicked off his teeth, fishing his keys out instead and pushing him out the way and Thai man moved without a struggle. 

“Yuuri!”

Yuuri lowers his head on the door, letting it rest there. “Phichit, can we get in the apartment first at least?” He felt his friend by his side, bowing down to look at Yuuri in the eyes but Yuuri turns his head to face him, head still on the door. 

He gave Yuuri his best puppy dog expression, knowing Yuuri would open the door and run straight in his room to avoid the conversation. Yuuri sighs again, lifting his head to unlock the door. “I swear,” knowing Phichit would catch what he’s referring to. 

He unlocked the door finally. They got inside, and Yuuri was able to take his shoes off and place his keys in the dish by the coat rack. He watched Phichit shrug his jacket off and Yuuri took it as his chance to run for it.

“Yuuri, you filthy liar,” Phichit screams, dropping his jacket on the ground to chase after him. He jumps over the brown sofa, hitting his left knee on the coffee table in the process but was still able to yank on Yuuri’s coat to have him fall backwards. 

Yuuri’s falls along with his laptop bag and glasses askew on the bridge of his nose but is quick to get up again as his friend was too busy rubbing his injured knee but was pulled back down by the strap of his laptop back still across his chest. His last attempt got him in the room to lock the door and fall right onto his bed. He heard him knock several times.

“Don't think I won't make dinner for one tonight, Katsuki!”

“Let me sleep, Phichit!” Oh yes, Yuuri wanted to sleep, but he wanted to avoid the talk about the high school teacher he’s been interested in for a few years. 

Yuuri had attended Wayne University in Detroit when he was 18. He finished his courses when he was 21, graduating with a CDA. Somewhere in between he met Phichit Chulanont, he was in the Studio Arts program for photography and minor in marketing. They actually end up meeting when Phichit needed a portrait picture of someone on campus, and Yuuri was kind enough to be of help. 

Ever since then, Yuuri would be Phichit model now and then on campus to eating lunch together only for it to turn into a friendship Yuuri has never really had before. 

Yuuri visited home now and then when money was high on his side, but he stayed in the states when he found out about their school system. He remember hearing uproars about how some school would not allow students to know about second genders until they are in high school and even then, it’s not for the school to teach but for the parents to inform their kids. 

Back in Japan they were the same way but eventually, children are taught properly by parents and if not, they had classes for the topic. For some reason, in the states, they did not want to display it as much. It was almost taboo and Yuuri felt his own heart clench at how many lost kids are out there.

He taught preschool, sometimes moving up to teach first and second years. It’s not much he could teach them about their second gender, but it was a stepping stone to teach them to treat everyone as a human. Even though they are too young to understand what ran in their blood, he wanted to give these kids get an understanding they are equal, treat each other with love and getting along with one another. 

Yuuri does remember his first few weeks of teaching primary school, where parents would separate their kids from others, knowing what their children were. These parents ran test on their kids before their bodies could even grow, so impatient and selfish. Parents were always the cause of confusion for young children who are trying to learn more about themsleves. Yuuri wanted his students to love themselves and not forget who they are, because once those test run through to define their second gender, you feel like your first gender never existed. You’re no longer you and you feel as if you have to mole yourself into this shape given to you. 

Be something you’re not. 

Yuuri wanted to give these kids loving peace and have them give it to one another. Not hate one another because one is an omega and the other is beta or believe all alphas are these shadows in the dark or all omegas were damsels in distress.

When Yuuri heard about the teacher in Illinois, he did all his research on the school and the teacher, he told Phichit right away. There has been a few parents trying to press charges on Viktor Nikiforov for teaching them inappropriate topics in school, when really, Viktor was teaching all the things parents should have been teaching them when they were younger.

Viktor Nikiforov taught Anatomy and Physiology, so nothing is inappropriate, but some may find it a sensitive topic when they enter the education of Second Gender. But not teaching them the right way is beyond dangerous.

To be a teenager with hormones and emotions out of control on top of the risk of improper heats and violent ruts. Hickeys given to one another are accidental bonds they are stuck with for the rest of their lives. Teen pregnancies due to not having knowledge of different condom brands for those who are alphas for it to go over their knot. Too many hospital visits for not properly prepping their partner to take a knot or yanking themselves out because they didn’t know it varies from twenty minutes to an hour for it to go down to safely pull out. 

They did not know, and if their parents aren't teaching them or students are not self taught, they are walking into life blind into a pit of regret and mistakes not even white out could fix. 

He has heard many teachers in the lounge venting on and on about a school in Illinois that was allowing an Anatomy teacher have one on ones with students when in need of help or advice. Many were quick to shoot it down, a handful approved at the fact someone was finally putting a foot down for the young. 

Yuuri ended up saving money after picking up a second job to move out to the state, and Phichit was willing to join him due to the amount of job offerings he already had laid out in multiple states, including Illinois. 

He taught at a preschool in uptown for two years because the district Viktor taught in was not looking for anyone. The doors opened shortly after,and he was able to work a few blocks away from the school the high school teacher worked at. Being part of the district means sooner or later, he would attend a district meeting and he could finally meet this Nikiforov man he’s been keeping his eye on for awhile. It sounds stalkerish but Yuuri really did appreciate how Viktor was the first of a few to reach out and help kids. 

To take a serious matter where many did not take the time out their day to think about the future of these children was heartwarming. 

Yuuri did not know the man who spilled water on his blue sweater was the man he was supportive of until he saw the long-haired beauty speak on stage. Yuuri did not know anything about the man, he had only seen one picture of him online but it was outdated but Yuuri does remember how his heart skipped like a pebble on top of pond water. 

After the meeting, he wanted to talk to him, and ended up stumbling on his name when he came face to face with blue eyes. Yuuri remembers trying not to stare at him, basking in all of his beauty. Yuuri wasn't sure if he was grateful for the other man, who he thinks is Viktor’s friend, who kissed his hand, shocking Yuuri enough to save him the public embarrassment of almost drooling. 

It ended too soon, leaving Yuuri to fall short on everything he wanted to say to the other man. Who knew when the next meeting was going to be held? He could go to the high school as a guest to talk to him, but he thought it over how that would be too straightforward. 

There was a knock on his door and Yuuri snaps out of it, sitting up in his bed a little too fast, almost making his head dizzy.

There was silence and Yuuri didn’t speak because he already knew.

“...Was it the one with the pink sweater on,” Phichit said, sounding like he was pressing his lip on the keyhole for Yuuri to fully hear his voice. Yuuri didn't know why he thought he could avoid Phichit and his nosey questions so he got off the bed to unlock the door to his room and opens it to see Phichit holding a fork in his hand. 

Yuuri took the fork from his hand, already knowing dinner was finished and pops the fork on his friend’s forehead.

“Correct, now please leave me be.” Yuuri walked past him to get to the kitchen to find his plate of curry already made and set on the table. He grimace as he knew how Phichit was pulling a foul play right now. Yuuri sat at the table and Phichit joined him, a smug expression played on his face. Before Yuuri could bless his food, Phichit is chirping across from him. 

“So-”

“Just because you made me dinner does not mean-”

“Oh but it does! You’ve accepted my fork so you have to tell me more.” Phichit leans forward, placing his elbows on the table to rest his head on folded hands. “Plus I need a dinner story, now dish.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, “I feel like I am on an episode of gossip girls.”

“Dish!”

Yuuri did not know what he was dishing about but he did mention how he did stumbled on his name and almost drooled over a man who spilled water on his clothes when they first interacted. Yuuri counted in his head how long it would take Phichit to say something off the wall. It took three seconds. Old record, he’s been fast.

“Oh my, is my Yuuri crushing over there?”

“Wh-wait, what?”

“For someone who wants to talk to a man about education, you sound like you want him to school you instead.”

“Phichit-kun,” Yuuri felt his face burst into flame as he lower his head to shyly eat at his bowl of curry.. 

“Wow, Yuuri, and from afar I could tell how beautiful he was. Could you pick up on what he is?”

“That’s considered rude.”

“But damn near drooling over him isn’t?”

Yuuri took a sip of his water and he had to really think if he could have picked up his scent because he tried not to label people. However Omega and Alpha are noticeable so he must have been beta. Yuuri was going to say he could from his looks but last time he checked, he himself looked nothing like an alpha, yet here he was.

“I feel like I don’t need to know what he is, all I know is he does not look anything like the one photo I found online of him.”

Phichit got up to grab a second plate, still able to hear Yuuri from the dining room in their half kitchen where a few boxes stacked in the corner of each other’s belongings. 

In the next couple of months, his friend will be moving out to his own place. It was going to happen eventually; they’ve been roommates for almost five years. It only meant that Yuuri to find a place for his own soon too. 

“I forgot you’re an “element of surprise” kind of guy. Also, I agree with you, he’s way hotter in person.” He came back to sit at the table to witness Yuuri choked on a fork full of food at Phichit’s words. He laughs, reaching across to pat his shoulder to comfort him, because it wasn't like he was almost choking.

“I’m going to die because of you,” Yuuri coughs.

“Ah yes, because beta ‘ol me is going to kill the almighty alpha. No thanks, I enjoy living.” Phichit poked around with his food and checked Yuuri out in front of him. “Seriously, Yuuri. You’ve been talking about this man for years, you even moved to the same state he lives in. There’s something there, I can feel it in my beta bones.”

“I only mention him when it involves studies and the school system, I don't personally know him.”

“But you want to get to know him,” his friend sung with an eyebrow raised. 

“I didn’t say-”

“And you don't need to. How many years have I’ve known you Yuuri? You’ve never spoke this much about a man, not even when you were dating that asshole, Cameron, for almost a year.”

Yuuri groan in disgust at the name. Cameron was an ex he had met his sophomore year of college. This man was a year older than him but he tried to get Yuuri to force a bond and create a family with him even when Yuuri said he wasn’t ready. He was crazy to the point he even poked holes in their condoms or lie about taking his birth control. It then boiled down to heat partners then to no longer wanting to see each other because of how dirty Cameron was towards him. He did not love Yuuri as he told Yuuri, stating that the only reason he was with him because Yuuri was an alpha male and Cameron’s family wanted him to mate with one. Yuuri was in sight for Cameron at the right time for him and not Yuuri. 

Yuuri trusted him, fell for him because he was the first to want to be so close to him intimately and not see him as an alpha but as Yuuri, his true self. But everything spun downwards and every word Cameron told him were lies after lies. 

“Mama knows best for you, Yuuri! I say you bulk up and talk to him seriously the next district meeting. Not just about how you’re his biggest fan due to the research you’ve been drowning in his but as an interest.” Phichit got up, cleaning off the table while stacking the dishes in his hands. 

Yuri allowed Phichit to take the dishes but knowing how the rules are, Yuuri would have to make dinner tomorrow and clean the kitchen. He only found it fair. 

Phichit had to make a run to confirm meetup times for his next big photoshoot he's doing next week, so Yuuri took his chance to catch up on his sleep.

///// 

Yuuri sometimes wondered why he had a second job, the mindless thoughts running in his head at 7 in the morning was always an adventure. 

He had no choice but to piggyback on a second job since he would have to live on his on soon and being a preschool teacher and finances in America is a spinning spiral of hell. All the same, he loves his students and majority of his students clung onto him or bounce with joy in their voice when he would enter the classroom. 

Just like Viktor, some parents did not really like Yuuri for mix matching students in his class because they believed genders should be separated. However Yuuri refused that.

His shift doesn't start until the afternoon, so before he went in, he had to do a few running around. One of them involved stopping by his doctor's to ask for a refill on his medication. Yes he could have called, but his phone decided to take a drastic fall off the charger and was dead under his bed. 

When he entered the building, he took the elevator up to the fifth floor. The waiting room was almost bare until he saw a familiar man with a short two tone hair cut and shaggy beard. Yuuri, like always, wanted to bow his head down to avoid eye contact, but Yuuri caught a worried look on him. 

His leg bouncing, him picking at the callouses at his fingertips, burning holes with his honey eyes on the door across from him. 

Yuuri wanted to see if he was okay and he felt his feet shift over to him a few inches from the elevator before the door across Chris opens and he’s quick on his feet to his feet and his arms are open. In a heartbeat, Yuuri can see a man with silver hair in sweatpants clutching sheets of papers in shaky hands run into his embrace.

He rest his head on Chris shoulder and he could hear Chris hush him, rubbing the other’s back to calm him. 

“It’s going to be alright. I know you, you’ll get through this. I’m here to fight with you,” Chris voice so soft but Yuuri could tell he was hurt. And Yuuri body tighten at the fragrance in the air and his jaw locked. 

Floral and sweet. He tried his best to suppress his own scent but Chris head snaps up noticing Yuuri’s pheromones sneaking out. When their eyes meet, Chris’ face twist in a way as if Yuuri’s presence was ruining his attempt to protect the other but deeper Yuuri could tell he didn’t want him seeing this.He pulls the other male closer to him to whisper in his ear but Yuuri still heard him. 

“Come on, Viktor, let's get you home.” 

Yuuri’s heart sunk when he heard the name then realized what was happening as he watch Chris gentle push Viktor in his lower back to get him to start walking. Chris stares at Yuuri, his eyes begging as he shook his head. Yuuri nod his head to sign he understands and saw Chris thank him nonverbally as they left the waiting room.

Yuuri has witnessed and found out about something he was not suppose to know. Even though he did not know Viktor Nikiforov, but he could not help the unsettle feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

“Mr. Katsuki,” a lady called from the counter in the waiting room, holding a small bag. Yuuri went over to sign his name and show his information. “Xanax, correct?”

Yuuri nodded his head, use to hearing the prescription since he was 14. Yuuri left the building five minutes later but stopped in at the front door when he saw Chris helping Viktor in the car. Viktor sat in the car but his legs were still planted on the blacktop; his top half bend over to rest his elbows on his knees. From here Yuuri caught a glimpse of his bloodshot eyes surrounded by puffy lids. Flush skin made the red on his cheeks more noticeable. He notice him heaving by the way his shoulders and chest moved. He could see him take a quick intake of breathe and before Yuuri could hid himself from something he knows he shouldn't be seeing; he hears Viktor let out an earthquaking scream. Yuuri went stiff. 

He’s pushing loose strands of his hair, just to yank them out his sloppy ponytail as he sunk and Chris is quick to crouched down in front of him grab Viktor’s hands and hold them in his own. Yuuri’s phone buzzed in his head to notify him his shift was near. 

Yuuri decided to take the back door to get to his car because he did not want Chris to know he had witnessed Viktor Nikiforov have a breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, seriously guys, thanks for reading! I really appreciate it. I guess this story has some potential to have yall still reading.
> 
> Leave me kudos and comments? Feedback are always nice~ 
> 
> I hope everyone have a nice day/night(where ever you are reading in whatever timezone)


	5. Disquiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Whispers* Im shit at making titles.  
> It's a Katsuki Yuuri protecting his man, who isn't really his man, but hopefully will be his man in the long run kind of chapter.  
> Enjoy~

November scrolled by too fast for Yuuri to actually take in everything.

 

Witnessing Viktor Nikiforov breakdown in the middle of the parking lot a few weeks ago was a lot to take in. Yuuri tap his pen on the stack of sheets in front of him, trying to stay focus but he kept trying to look up the next district meeting because it kept nagging at the back of head about Viktor; a man he knows nothing about personally and only met once in person. All it took was a Thursday afternoon to make him worry for weeks on end. It was a perk yet a drag on Yuuri’s note for being a worrier, because he wanted to help everyone in his wake. Even when he can’t help, he would find a way to do so. In the situation Yuuri was in, he was not sure what he was trying to help Viktor from, which leaves him in a loop of wanting to know and try to reach out.

 

Conflict? Yuuri did not have any connection nor think he could get close to someone like Viktor.

 

He thought how Chris was holding him in the waiting room, how he tried to calm Viktor at whoever’s car in the parking lot…

Yuri even noticed how close they were at that meeting.

 

_Chris is probably dating him._

 

“Katsukai!” Yuuri glance up from his papers at the young voice in front of him. He couldn’t help but smile at the small child with brown eyes and two afro puffs on her head with colorful hair clips.

 

“Kah-sue-key.”

 

“Kai-sew-lee?”

 

Yuuri chuckled at her failed attempt but he kept the conversation flowing. “Yes, Mariah?”

 

“Elliot won’t share his goldfish with me.”

 

“His parents probably only got them for him only. He doesn't have to share if he doesn't want to, hun.”

 

Yuuri's words upset her, causing her to cross her arms over her chest and pout.

 

“But you said sharing is caring!”

 

“I know, Mariah. But there are some things you shouldn't force people to do.”

 

She whines, bouncing on her toes with her arms still crossed. “But he shared with Andrew. It's not fair!”

 

Yuuri peeped up to try to find Elliot in the room. And yes, it was confirmed he was sharing with not only Andrew but other classmates.

 

He examines the table more to see there were a few girls over there too, so it wasn't because she was a girl.

 

Yuuri then sees the problem.

 

He was sharing amongst  his fellow alpha classmates.

 

Yuuri stood up to hold Mariah's hand to walk over to Elliot, who was surrounded by others kids at the snack table.

 

“Elliot, what's going on,” Yuuri asked, crouching down by the table as Mariah stood with her hand on her hip.

 

“Nothing, eating goldfishy.”

 

“I see, may I have one?”

 

Elliot didn't say anything so Yuuri was accepting that as a no until he dug in his small ziplock bag to hand Yuuri three with his cheese powder fingers.

 

“That's not fair, Elliot!” Mariah screeched.

 

“Shut up! Yes it is!”

 

“Hey,” Yuuri cut in. “Elliot, your mouth, we don't speak like that in this class.” The kids who sat at the table ran off to do something else, not wanting to get involved. “Now, Elliot. Why did you give me goldfish and not Mariah?”

 

“Because you're an adult.”

 

“Yes. Okay, but why did Alison gets some too?”

 

“Because she's one of us!”

 

“And what are we?”

 

“Alphas.”

 

Yuuri felt his chest tighten. He hates when parent tell their kids what Yuuri's secondary gender was. Yuri wasn’t ashamed of any sort but he knew the kids would look at him differently. Mariah walks up in Elliot's face.

 

“I can be strong, my daddy said I can be strong just like an alpha! So I am an alpha!”

 

“You're an omega, you can't be both, stupid!”

 

“Okay you two, breathe.” Yuuri spoke. They went silent as Yuuri massage the bridge of his nose. “Elliot, we treat each other as equal. Just because she's an omega doesn't means you can treat her any differently.”

 

Elliot clutches his ziplock bag of goldfish and frowns.

 

“As for you, Mariah. Your dad is right, you can be strong and be an omega. Elliot can be strong too and be an alpha. My point being; we can all be strong. And why's that?”

 

They say in their multi color chairs, turned away from each other. Yuuri was thankful he was the paciente type. Thankfully it only took two minutes for them to finally talk.

 

“We're equal,” Elliot spoke lowly, lowering his head now, realizing what he had done was wrong.

 

“What are we, Mariah?”

 

“Equal.”

 

“Can you both accept that?” They nodded their heads. Yuuri stood up and was about to tell them to hug it out but Yuuri witness something greater.

 

Elliot reached in his baggy and grabbed a goldfish and slid it on the table to hand to Mariah.

 

It was a singular cheese fish, but Mariah smiles brightly and popped it in her mouth before she flung herself around Elliot for an embrace.

 

“Elliot has a girlfriend!” Nathan teased from the other side of the room near the toy box section.

 

The entire classroom sung along, pointing at Elliot, who was now shyly shoving Mariah off him. If Yuuri wasn't paying attention, he could had miss Elliot handing her his entire ziplock bag of goldfish. Her being an omega wasn't the only reason he wasn't sharing with her.

 

“D-do not!”

 

The classroom got louder.

 

“Alright class, enough.” Yuuri called out but to failed to get them to settle down. He press the tip of his index and middle finger to his thumb, arching his other two fingers to make ears. He held his hand up. “Quiet fox!”

 

It took a minute or two but they finally went silent, paying their attention to Yuuri.

 

“Snack time is over, everyone sit at the circle rug.” Yuuri didn't say anything else as a few of them ran to the carpet screaming storytime while a few groaned.

 

Yuri never picks the book, although he wish he did because being handed ten books from his students, he had to hear them argue which one they prefer.

 

/////

 

Yuuri sat out in front of the school to make sure his students got on the bus. The rest left behind were kids waiting on their parents.

 

Mariah was the last one waiting and stood next to Yuuri, rocking on the heels of her feet. Her father is the one who shows up and Mariah ran over to him. She went on how she made a new friend,how she told an alpha male she was just as strong, and how Yuuri helped to her defense.

 

Her father gave a soft smile before he shook his hand with Yuuri to thank him for restating what he’s been trying to tell her at home from what he told Yuuri. He informed Yuuri how he's married to an alpha, meaning both her parents are dominants of the family.

 

Mariah has mentioned several times thinking she'll never be strong because she's different from her mom and dad. Unlike some parents, they were there to teach her that she is no different from her parents and others.

 

Yuuri was trying to tell him he’s just doing his job but the man was shaking his head.

 

“Seriously, Mr. Katsuki, you and that high school teacher has been a huge help on our kids.”

 

“Mr. Nikiforov?” Yuuri knew Mariah had an older brother but didn’t know he was in high school.

 

“Yeah. Secondary genders are strange in our family,” he picks up Mariah to hold her in his arms. “Christian is a beta in the 10th grade. The man isn’t even his teacher but he goes to him for small help.” He chuckles lowly. “You know, teens and young love;there’s a lot of things we know ourselves to help our kids. It’s just nice to have another voice for them to listen to, you know?”

 

Yuuri fold his arms and could not help but feel his body warm at the kind words, because Yuuri understand what it is like to have another voice around to make him comfortable. He thought of his sister. Yuuri again wanted to state he’s doing his job but instead he sighs.

 

“It’s not a problem. I care for these kids like they are my own.”

 

He thanks Yuuri again before he’s putting his daughter in the car. Mariah waved behind the rolled up window towards Yuuri and Yuuri fans his fingers in return of her wave.

 

They drove off and Yuuri takes a long sigh, he turn on his heels to walk back to the front doors of the school around the corner of the building.

 

At the door he saw a few teachers at the entrance, one including the school nurse, Yuuko. All gathered, they spoke in the small circle. From the looks of their faces, it was not good.

 

“Mrs. Nishigori, what’s going on?”

 

“Ah, the janitor found black mold in the bathroom and bed bugs on the couch in the teacher’s lounge. Don't know who it came from but the principal of the school is talking to the district’s board of education as we speak.”

 

“Both of those things are not safe for the kids,” Yuuri muttered towards her. “They’re still children, I’m sure they could easily get sick from the mold or possibly take the bed bugs home with them on their bags.” Yuuri replied, now worried about his own belongings having bed bugs attached to it.

 

Yuuko propped her hand on his hips and groans. “Mhmm, and it’s Monday too? If anything they’re going to fumigate the school after they scrub the bathrooms to death.”

 

“Where are the kids going to go? The school is small but for it to fully air out and 100% sure it’s safe for the kids will take the whole week, maybe two.”

 

Yuuri felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He went to grab at it and noticed the others pull out their phones too.

 

**Message from School Board**

 

_ >Hello fellow teachers and staffs, _

 

_After the school was checked top from bottom for our monthly inspection; it was stated they have found black mold and bed bugs located in a few restroom on the north wing of the building and the west wing where the teacher’s lounge is placed._

 

_We have send an email to all the student’s parents to have them check their kids belongs just in case. As for staff and teachers, there will be a district meeting with just the high school of our city and us only. We refuse to leave a week of school go uneducated, therefore, we will be continuing our classes Wednesday at the High School. There is a possibility the preschool-third grade classes will be sharing classrooms as their is more space in the high school building yet limited classrooms for each teacher to hold their own class. I’ve contacted other schools and sadly they cannot fit more than what they are holding._

 

_For the meeting, we are meeting at Hinsdale High at noon. The meeting will only consists of how the classes will be organized along with the schedule for the following week._

 

_As principal of the school, I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience._

 

_Principle Crispino._

 

Yuuri heard a few teachers groan how they were hoping for a week off teaching as a few other were worried about the young ones being around older and bigger kids.

 

Yuuri kept to himself, reading the message again.

 

_I get to see Viktor again._

 

//////

 

If would be a lie if Yuuri said he wasn't sad  his best friend is leaving in a few weeks. After five strong years together, their time has come to an end.

 

However, Yuuri wasn't going to miss Phichit breathing down his neck for hours about Yuuri's little 'crush’.

 

“I'm a grown man, Phichit. It's not a crush.”

 

“Blah blah,” Phichit sassed back, slouching on the couch with his laptop on the coffee table. He was editing wedding photos for a client. “Grown man or not, yah like him.”

 

Yuuri blanked out whatever his friend was blabbing about. He was too busy fixing his tie then running his fingers through his hair to get the right style. Sadly, his short hair didn't want to cooperate with him.

 

He hears Phichit behind him suddenly, so close to him, he nearly jumps out his finest dress shoes.

 

“You fixing your hair like that and blanking me out are speaking louder than your statement earlier.”

 

Phichit poked at Yuuri's cheek, teasing the blush flushing into a darker red by the second. He flared his arms to get him Phichit to get away from him, all for his friend to slap his ass playfully.

 

“Phichit!”

 

“You look fine. Go get him tiger.”

 

“It's just a meeting.”

 

“You're missing a huge chunk out of this situation, Yuuri. A meeting where you'll be soon sharing the same school with him!”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes, walking towards his room to grab his keys and jacket.  Phichit’s bare feet padded against the wooden floor behind Yuuri's track,voice bouncing off the wall.

 

“Yuuuuurrii~ Please!” Yuuri pushed past him. “You'll die for crying out loud!”

 

“What,” Yuuri turned at the end of the hall, not fully understanding him, staring at his friend from down the hall.

 

“You're like a rabbit, you'll die of loneliness and I am worried for your well being.”

 

Yuuri blinked a few times, watching Phichit bat his lashes, lips pouted out.

 

There was a pause of silence.

 

“What,” Yuuri repeated but his voice strained high in disbelief.

 

“When was the last time I ever told you to do something I say? The outcome is always 1000 times better than what you always think it will turn out.” Yuuri clicked his tongue against his teeth, back now facing his friend’s pleads.

 

There was no escaping because Phichit just walked faster behind him, still rambling.

 

“Katsuki The Great! Yuuri with the eyes of fury!My beloved best friend! Listen to me, for the love of your mother's Katsudon. Yuuri, do it for-”

 

“Fine! Okay!” Yuuri snaps under the weight of peer pressure’s tangent of rambled words. He ends up finding Phichit giving off his classic shit eating grin. “I'll talk to him.”

 

“You'll ask him out today,” Phichit tried to correct.

 

Yuuri squint his eyes to focus on the Thai man before he is walking up to him to jab his finger on his chest and emphasizing each word. “I'll. Talk. To. Him”

 

A playful smirk plays on Phichit's lips before he's turning back towards the couch.

 

“By the way,” Phichit hums, sinking back into the couch. “You're running 6 minutes behind.”

 

Yuuri movements are set to the highest gear. He slung his bag over his head, almost tipping him off balance.

 

“You're an asshole,” Yuuri swore, swimming the front door open to rush out. Before he could shut the door he heard Phichit mention putting a dollar in the swear jar.

 

////

 

Yuuri arrived at the high school. The meeting was held in the afternoon but classes were still in session. A handful of high school teachers joined because they were part of the classroom the other school will be sharing in between blocks.

 

Yuuri stood silently by the auditorium doors, clicking away on his phone. Yuuri was not great when it come to connecting to other people. If Phichit was here, he would be quick to drag him around to talk to everyone in the room.

 

Days when his secondary gender shows, people would see who Yuuri was. Everyone believes Yuuri was this strong, confident alpha male. To Yuuri’s disappointment, he’s not. He thought he was being his genuine self until he was sitting during the meeting that day when it come to realization he was technically flirting with Viktor after he bumped into him.

 

Yuuri has always been shy and frantic but when he felt the time was right, he broke out his shell without knowing. It was a loop thought, where he’ll break out his shell blindly then realized really late what he has done and combust in embarrassment.

 

For the confident part, he was nowhere near. Yuuri is proud of his secondary gender for as he grew up understanding he was made to protect. He has gotten in a few encounters where he had to stand tall in front of another alpha males who were trying to touch his sister. Yes, Mari was older than him and she knew how to protect herself. Fithteen year old Yuuri just was acting fast on his feet.

 

The only thing Yuuri loathes the most is growling. The raw rumble coming from his chest than his vocal cords. He only did it used to defend himself or others and to show aggression; though, Yuuri did not like being seen as someone fearsome.

 

Yuuri nose started to pick up different scents flowing in the air. He begun to think how these younger kids will feel being around these high schoolers. Teenagers who are going through puberty as well as secondary gender changes. The air is heavy in the school with accidental hormones release on top of forceful alpha oras. These kids didn’t know any better and having these younger kids here for who knows how long; may be an issues. Another issue is Yuuri could pick up on teachers not controlling themselves as well the longer he stood there.

 

Time breezed by fast, the room began to fill with teachers and the district mayor. The tables in the room were different from the last meeting. Instead of rows, there were circle tables group off into sections.

 

Ah, they were really forcing Yuuri to be social. He scooped out auditorium to find a seat and then he's quick straighten his back when he managed to see someone with familiar, silver hair. The man’s hair was short so it couldn’t be him, right?

 

Yuuri got closer and pulled a seat from the man's table causing the other to flinch. When he looks up, Yuuri’s heart stops for second.

 

“Mr.Nikiforov?”

 

He looked...drained.

 

There was dark shadow under his eyes, anyone could miss them if you glance at him, but Yuuri was observing him to the point he can see Viktor's pupils dilated. His long silver hair that once stopped at his mid back was now chopped to his shoulders. He wore a deep purple sweater with a turtleneck but Yuuri could see a small peak of gauze taped on his neck. He slouch a little but was quick to lift himself and Yuuri could tell he was stretching a false smile. His fingers with blunt fingernails that were just tugging uncomfortably with the hem of his sleeves were now wiggling towards Yuuri as a halfhearted wave.

 

“Hello, Mr. Katsuki!”

 

“Is it okay if I could sit here? There aren’t a lot of available seats.” Yuuri cringe at his question. Clearly, the other did not want anyone near him how his body language is screaming. But it was true, there was not a lot of seats left. Viktor hesitated before he weakly gestures for Yuuri to seat across from him. Yuuri sat down, and there was silences between them as the staff and teacher chattered away around them.

 

“Y-your hair?” Yuuri barely got out.

 

Viktor jumps in his seat again in response to Yuuri’s voice.

 

His fingers fiddle with the ends of his hair, pinching a few stains with his index and thumb. He open his mouth to say something and from the way he frown, almost as if he’s sadden about it, so Yuuri shot out, “It looks nice.”

 

Viktor finally made eye contact with him. Viktor looked as if the complement caught him off guard.

 

“I-um.”

 

“Oh!” Yuuri panicked, waving his hands in front of him as if he’s trying to fan off his embarrassment at how forward he was being. “I didn’t  mean to-” Viktor’s expression was hard to read, an eyebrow arched and mouth open slightly. “I mean, I meant it! But I-I’m sorry? Not for-”

 

_Just stop talking._

 

There was a small heartfelt chuckle. Yuuri saw a powder blush on Viktor’s flushed cheeks. Under his eyes, he could see a small dimple pop up as Viktor gave him a gentle grin.

 

“Thank you,” his voice cracked and Yuuri was about to ask if he was okay but the meeting started. The entire meeting, he couldn’t think, only how Viktor’s voice cracked, how tired he looks. He was thinking about how a few weeks ago he caught him having a breakdown at the car. What caused him to cut his hair so short? What did his doctor tell him that day at the doctor’s office? Why was Chris holding him like that? Why was Chris cradling him so close in the parking lot?  

 

Yuuri was livid and annoyed. Livid because someone or something hurt Viktor. Annoyed because he’s not dating him, he doesn’t know anything about this man so he doesn’t have the right to feel this way about a stranger; but he does. Viktor is a beautiful man, and how he wants to care for his students show he’s selfless and cares so much about others around him.

 

They end up pairing up teachers who will be sharing the same classrooms and of course, he’s sharing a room with Viktor. One of the staffs handed a schedule to them, hours when Yuuri would start his classes, times they would switch of the next block to come in.

 

“You’re a preschool teacher,” Viktor asked as he stood up, pushing his chair in. Yuuri was too deep into the sheet of paper in front of him at the moment.

 

“Mm.”

 

“Won’t your students need more play room? My classroom is nothing but desk for older students to sit.”

 

“Ah, this is true, but I should be able to push all the desk in a corner and clean up and place everything back before your class comes in.” Yuuri got up from his seat, noticing everyone was on the move to familiarize themselves with the school. They’ll be teaching here tomorrow and hopefully their school would be ready before Christmas break comes along.

 

Viktor shift on his two feet. “Well, I can show you my classroom.” Yuuri nod his head in response. He follows Viktor down the hall, up the stairs and a few turns. The mayor was not joking about this school being huge. There were a few extra rooms that did not hold classes he seem to notice.

 

“Vacant classrooms?”

 

Viktor nods. “Yeah, I heard our school principal was planning to fix them up for your school. They haven’t been used in a while, so they might have to clean them up to have them ready.”

 

“So it seems you’re stuck with me and my students for a short period of time?”

 

He saw how Viktor’s shoulders tense up from behind at that.

 

The bell rings throughout the hallway and Yuuri yelps at the sound, causing Viktor to turn and stare at him. Students came pouring out the classroom of playful students, older students Yuuri was not used to being around. Some were hitting each other in a playful manner, some giggling, others rolling their eyes at the people in front of him moving like molasses.

 

“That’s your school bell?”

 

Viktor laugh was filled with more emotion than what he sound from earlier. “Y-yes?” He giggles, covering his mouth to hide he was. “Does your school not have one?”

 

“We do, but it doesn’t sound like they’re letting prisoners out their rooms.”

 

“I mean, technically, half of these kids are juvenile.”

 

“Really? Like criminals?”

 

“Mhm, real criminals.”

 

The hallway got louder of rowdy teenagers going to their last class of the day. Viktor stops at classroom 201, turning to see Yuuri a few steps behind him frightened.

 

Viktor snickers as he opens his classroom door. “I’m joking.”

 

Yuuri enters the room to try to understand what he could work with his kids in such a classroom. His classes were after their lunch break around 12:45. He only teaches one class however, there are a handful of them all at once for two hours. Viktor’s last class ends at 12 and he was teaching his last two blocks in another classroom.

 

The room was big enough to hold 15 kids and more the only problem was how snack time work, playtime, and nap time. He frowns because there is a lot Yuuri has to take away from him kids if they’re going to be in this classroom for a few days. He couldn’t even risk bringing the toys in this school because of the whole bed bug outbreak.

 

Yuuri found his way over to Viktor's desk. Neat with colorful pens in a glass jar next to several letters and cards in….russian? He always knew Viktor's last name was foreign but he didn't think it would be Russian. When he thinks about it, he does have a slight accent. A couple of cards over, he catches a photo of a brown poodle in a tiny yellow raincoat with their tongue sticking out.

 

“You have a dog?”

 

_You're being nosey, Yuuri._

 

He laughs it off as he turn to notice Viktor hooking his right arm across his stomach, his left hand covering his mouth with his head down, leaning on one of the student's desk. Yuuri worked with kids, so his natural response was to check to see if they're okay when they look ill. So pacing over to place his hand on Viktor's forehead to check if his temperature was high was instinct. He may have moved too close consider being between Viktor's legs, almost pushing him into sitting position on the classroom desk.

 

There was a heartbeat of a pause before Viktor jerks back from the contact. Yuuri’s hand falls off his forehead and he balls it up when he realized he was intruding on personal space. An apology was about to jump out his mouth but-

 

“Mr.Nikiforov, I need your help, it’s Guang-” Yuuri look over to see the classroom door being yanked open to what he believes is one of Viktor’s students. He was breathing fast as if he was running miles before he got her. His thick eyebrows raised when he notice Viktor wasn’t the only one in the classroom. Yuuri took another step back because he felt how the young male blinked his wet brown eyes at what he was seeing in front of him.

 

“Leo? Aren’t you supposed to be in your fourth block class?” Viktor adjusted himself, walking towards the student, bringing him in the classroom now. Yuuri saw how fast Viktor throw his own troubles away and turn his worries on the younger male.

 

“I-yes but Guang Hong, he’s,” Leo stumbled on his words, directing his eyes to Yuuri for a split second before he looks at the floor. Viktor whispered something to the boy and Leo nodded and sat in one of the desk, picking at the skin on his fingers.

 

It came together; Viktor’s student needed advice on something which is a personal matter. Viktor turn himself to Yuuri but Yuuri was quick to put his hand up to stop whatever Viktor was about to say.

 

“I understand, I have to go anyways.” Yuuri dug in his bag to pull out a sticky note and a pen. “Here's my email address since we’re sharing the same room. So feel free to shoot an email if you need anything.” Yuuri put the sticky note in the palm of Viktor’s cold hand. It concerned Yuuri because when he touch his forehead, he was burning, yet his hand is so cold.

 

Viktor stares at the piece of paper, crossing one arm over his stomach again as if he’s protecting something other than himself. Viktor’s eyes were dilated, his body screaming how exhausted he is. Yuuri then remembers the peak of gauze taped to his neck for when he sat next to him at the meeting.

 

Yuuri didn’t know he was staring at that side of his neck, knowing what’s under his the stretch of his turtleneck. Viktor quickly holds his neck with one hand, that side even Yuuri knows isn’t a mate’s mark because he couldn’t smell it and he hates he force himself to scent if it was or not. So why is it there? Who hurt him? It triggered yuuri’s unwanted protective side to came out and he mistakenly gotten closer to Viktor by two steps all just to whisper, “And I mean anything.”

 

Viktor’s pulls his turtleneck up more on his neck, knowing Yuuri may have seen what he has been trying to hide.

 

“I-” Viktor spoke but Yuuri starts leaving the classroom.

 

“I hope you feel better. See you tomorrow.” Yuuri told Leo that he hope things are okay with him and he left out the school, almost storming to his car.

 

When he got to his car, he sat there in the driver’s seat, trying to compose himself because he was pissed. Pissed he does not know Viktor enough to be able to reach out and help him with whatever he’s going through like he wants to. Yuuri couldn’t force him to explain the entire situation because it’s none of his business. Him giving his email and telling him to contact whenever he needs anything was really ballsy. Insanely ballsy.

 

Yuuri then thought about things out of proportions; automatically believing Chris is behind this. He’ve seen how Chris is always around Viktor the times Yuuri is. Even outside of their jobs, he saw how close they were together at that doctor’s office.

 

Are they dating and if they are, it’s not an healthy relationship.

 

Yuuri rested his head on the steering wheel for a brief moment, until his phone buzzes.

 

He picks it up to see he has received an email.

 

**Viktor Nikiforov**

 

 **Subject:** _Yuuri Katsuki_

 

_It’s flu season, so I might be catching something._

_I appreciate you being attentive however none of this is to your concern._

_I hope that we can get along for the short time you will be attending our school._

 

_Have a good rest of your evening._

 

_-Viktor Nikiforov_

 

Yuuri reread his email over several more times before he is tossing his phone in the passenger seat, placing his head in his hands as a long sigh left his lungs.

 

Oh yeah, Yuuri has definitely crossed the line.

 

“Way to go, Katsuki,” Yuuri mutters to himself.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....Yuuri is gunna beat Chris' ass...
> 
> Hello, hi! Thank you all for still reading! I am grateful~ I won't be able to post again until mid December due to finals and college fisting my throat. ;^; If you have finals or anything, study~ I wish you all luck~
> 
> Comments and Kudos makes me nut.


	6. Self Exploration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to sit in a session with Viktor and his therapist.  
> Thank goodness Viktor's friend is into sex and has all the advice.  
> Your imagination can go far Vicky~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me! I got out of school then started working my life away. I'm sorry if this chapter is everywhere. It's not my best, but I hope you guys are still reading after I left for damn near two months ;A;
> 
> I really appreciate you all. Thank you so much! 
> 
> Finding inspiration to write is super hard~
> 
> Enjoy!

There are days where Viktor’s therapist would allow him to play his choice of music lowly in the background when Viktor is silent and stubborn during his sections 

 

Today is one of those days. The sound of smooth jazz plays softly and no matter how calming the music was to him, Viktor could tell he was showing how much of a mess he’s been in these past few days. 

 

He's gotten worse to the point Viktor’s bimonthly visits as turned into a weekly event, sometimes twice a week. Sitting in the same spot, not opening his mouth when asked a question as if he was a child, every Saturday morning. There was nothing to talk about, there was nothing for his therapist to tell him to help him through what his body in doing.

 

“Any self infliction since the last time I've seen you?” 

 

Viktor flinched at the question. 

 

The question out loud only made him slowly cup his hand over his neck, unconsciously sinking back into the black fabric couch he’s been sitting on for the past hour.  

 

The short male with an undercut has been asking him a series of simple questions. 

 

How are you?

How’s Makka?

Anything new happen since the last time I’ve seen you?

 

All questions he gave a short response to, but this one, he could tell a simple yes or no wouldn’t let the question disappear. When he asked if he self inflicted, it was like he already knew what Viktor did, when he did it. 

 

Otabek clicks his pen and starts to write in his notepad that sat in his lap.

 

“Don’t do that,” Viktor mutters. He always hated when he would see or hear Otabek scribble in his notepad in front of him. He felt that whatever he wrote down was each and every one of his slip ups. It made him feel worse, even when Otabek would state it’s only to make room for improvements. 

 

“You know what I’m writing isn’t being used against you in any way, yes?”

 

“You’re keeping tabs on my fuck ups,” Viktor snaps, trying to bat his eyes to avoid breaking down. He understands the place he’s in a safezone to cry, a place to let it all out but he’s tired of sobbing, he’s tired of feeling so weak. So he held it in but he felt himself starting to sway back and forth on the couch slowly, pulling on the white cotton of his long sleeve shirt. 

 

“They’re not fuck ups, Viktor. They’re just little bumps to recovery.” The calm of Otabek voice made him roll his eyes, annoyed at the statement. “Where?”

 

Viktor signs heavily and whips his head to look at the man sitting across from him. He was ready to say where but he felt sick to his stomach how and why he did it in the first place. Otabek gave a soft smile to reassure him he’s safe to tell him anything. Viktor knew that too but it was still difficult.

 

_ “M-my throat,”  _ he spoke in Russian. 

 

Otabek nods his head, keeping mental notes instead of writing. He finally got Viktor to talk more but all it did was dig up what happen these past few weeks and let them surface, making him talk about it. 

 

“Was it out of anger or-”

 

“My heat….”

 

“Your heat?”

 

Viktor took his left hand to palm at his right eye and stood up to start pacing. He felt himself ready to jet out the room but he took a deep breath and spoke in his home language because sometimes English just didn’t translate right. 

 

_ “Im no longer on my suppressants implant, so they put me on birth control and because of my delay of heats, I have intense heats that last for three days.” _

 

_ “You fell into a heat illness?” _ Viktor didn't respond, Otabek continued.  _ “Heat illness are rare but there are cases where delayed heats without a proper release are fatal. The reason you dug into your scent glance was your body's way of  desperately calling for a mate.”  _

 

Otabek stood up and started to pace with Viktor, but walked left when Viktor paced right. After being his therapist for 3 years, he picked up on walking around the room with him because if he sat and watch Viktor, he wouldn't talk. 

 

Viktor would circle around the small round table in the middle of the room and fall into a void of self loathing and silence. He was doing it now, Otabek took that as his chance to kept talking once again. 

 

_ “Your hair is shorter.” _

 

_ “I hate it,” Viktor hissed. _

 

_ “Why is that?” _

 

_ “No matter how much I change myself, I will continue to look like that disgusting pig.” _ Viktor ran his slim, shaky fingers through silver locks then took a hiccup of a breath in and out. He finally sat back down in his seat, trying to ignore the sick turn of his stomach at his memories.  _ “Tall, silver hair, blue eyes, my face structure, broad shoulders, we both share. My lips and hair are the only parts I hold dear because of my mother.” _

 

Viktor huffed a chuckle then gave his attention to his therapist.

 

_ “I end up freaking during my heat… It got so bad, I was crying out for someone or something, anything, to kill me in Russian. I was sweating a lot as well as tossing and turning, my hair got knotted, so I had to chop it. And God, My best friend was there to help me as much as he could but I couldn't… I couldn't do anything.” _ Viktor scoffed a laugh _. “I made Chris cry because he kept saying how I'll die from overexerting myself and was describing a heat illness I was tapping into. He was so hurt to see me like that, I felt twice as shit when he took me to the hospital. _

 

_ “It's not the heat itself made which makes it hard but it was thinking about what I had to do to stop the fire sensation. There’s this bothersome loop of thought with my father touching me. I would think about getting a heat partner like all normal omegas would do, right? However, the thought only had triggered me into thinking about my last ex who forced himself on me. Then the nerve for some who believe I can just go out there and get over this shit and it’s frustrating!”  _

 

Viktor kept going, he was screaming now. He was so used to bottling his emotions up. He would spill to Chris but very little. He didn’t have anyone to really talk to about his past or how to overcome it. He could talk to his mother but it was hard to talk to her about the man she married was touching on her son. The man she fell in love with has damaged their son, a child they made together. Seeing his mother hurt again is the last thing he wanted capture. 

 

_ “You try getting raped several times by your own father before you could even know what sex is! To get raped through your first heat with your biological father, making you ashamed of what you are then have someone pat you on your back just to tell you to “ get over it!” ” _

  
  


“What are you, Viktor,” Otabek cut in so Viktor could try to calm down after shouting his emotions to him and the four walls that surrounded them. It was a question he always asked Viktor from time to time… He knew what he was was but saying it out loud made him uncomfortable, so Otabek asked a new question he has never heard after three years of being here. 

 

“What is Darya?”

 

The name made him flinch, his heart ache, his eyes throbbed with fresh tears. 

 

Darya Nikiforov, his mother who he hasn’t talked to for almost 4 months. The first two months he’s been busy with starting back teaching, the last two has been him adjusting to his body changing and he hasn’t told his mother anything about it. Nothing.

 

Not a call to tell her he’s fine or he needs help or advice on his heat strikes nor the change of his medication. Him cutting his hair or a male he may found interest in if he would allow himself to let the other get close to him. 

 

“She’s a mother of a messy son.” Viktor laughs but it was dry, emotionless. 

 

“She’s an omega mother of a struggling son who is still looking for help. From what you told me about your mother, she’s strong willing, won't stop until the deed is done. Someone who would do anything to protect others but also themselves. You are your mother.”

 

Viktor grabbed a few tissues off the table in front of him, crossing his left leg over the right, leaning on his knee. He didn’t look at Otabek and just shook his head while balling up the cotton in his hands as his low voice spoke into the silence of the room.

 

“I’m weak, give up halfway and don’t know how to help myself yet alone others.”

 

Otabek sat up in his chair more, placing the notebook off to the side to pay all his attention on Viktor, although he wasn’t looking back at him. 

 

“For you to keep coming back to talk to me every week shows you’re seeking for some form of help. Seeking help is something very difficult to do in general. You’re taking your birth control although you hate them, shows you’re trying your all and not giving up halfway. You’re a teacher at a high school helping these teenagers who are lost, but you make a path for them to help make the right choices. As in protecting yourself, you won’t anyone come close to you other than Chris. Intimate wise? You wouldn't let others look in your direction, yet you would catch yourself staring as if you want to make a move but you’re stiff with fear, why is that?”

 

“You know the answer to that already.”

 

“I want you to say it out loud.”

 

“...I’ll hurt them…” 

 

“You’ll hurt them?”

 

“Yes,” Viktor raises his voice, annoyed. “I’ll-I’ll-I’ll open up and let them in but if I were to tell them about my past, I’ll hurt them because I kept it from them for so long.”

 

“Is it because you’re scared you’ve lied to them or are you the one who’s scared of being hurt?” Once again, his therapist was spot on about him. Viktor was about to attempt to dismiss the conversation yet, Otabek was faster to point him out about doing so. “I’m not going to tell you not to be scared of someone hurting you, Viktor. You have every right to be terrified and protective of yourself, but you’re close to the time frame where you’ll  start to cut people out then close yourself in.” 

 

The room went silent, jazz music softly playing the background. 

 

“What are you, Viktor Nikiforov,” Otabek asked once more. Viktor looked up at the clock above the door seeing it's 3 o’clock on a Saturday. He stood up and gathered his belongings before standing over Otabek who still sat in his seat. 

 

“I'm an omega male.”

 

Otabek stood up and was faced with Viktor even though he was way shorter than him. 

 

“Notice how I've asked  _ what  _ you are and not  _ who  _ you are. Keep that in mind.” Viktor’s glare softed, thinking back to when his mother said the same thing at the airport before they departed. Otabek rubbed his shoulder and gestured his arm towards the door. “You're free to leave, I'll see you next appointment.” 

 

~~~~~

 

Viktor was trying his hardest to keep his face twisting with embarrassment. 

 

He’s a 27 year old man, this shouldn’t be nothing, right?

 

Or so he felt it should be nothing, it was beyond nothing in all honesty. For someone who has never had consensual sex in his entire life as well as pleasuring himself while going through puberty, he start to question heavily why he was here in the first place. 

“No need to look so bashful, Vicky.” Viktor didn’t have to peak around to see who it was or where the low, teasing voice came from for him to swing his arm out and hit their shoulder. The hit was enough to knock a box out the other’s hands and he went to pick it up. When he read the box, he was quick to press the box back into his best friend’s hands, face burning up to his ears. 

 

Chris laughs at Viktor’s reaction.

 

“It’s not funny, Chris.”

 

“You’re right, it’s not funny...it’s a mini anal plug.”

 

If Viktor wasn’t red before, there must be steam leaving his ears now.

 

After his appointment with his therapist, he decided he would at least try the impossible; which was him being in the middle of a sex store for the first time out of his 27 years of living. 

 

He called Chris up to talk for a while about his heat illness he fell into. He remembered how he watched over him with this heartbroken expression, the horror when he found Viktor at the foot of the bed snipping his hair off after he went off to walk Makkachin. How quick Chris jumped on the bed to grab Viktor’s wrist to stop him from digging in his neck more. How Chris sat across from him with nail clippers to make his nail blunt incase he tried to maul at his neck again. 

 

After ten bloody gauzes, Chris bandaged the side of this neck, and told Viktor in such a soft yet strained voice saying how if Viktor was to ever leave him due to a heat illness, or in general, he isn’t sure what he’ll do with himself. 

 

Chris has only been friends with Viktor for three years and counting, yet, he was taking care of him as if they’ve been friends for 20 years. 

 

The Swedish man was all he had, or better yet, all who he entirely trusted. He spoke to Otabek about trying something to help him through his heat since he refuse self penetration with his fingers, but everything he needed, he didn’t have. Such as lube, cleaning supplies, toys, and false alpha scents to plug into his walls to replace his scent blockers. 

 

The last one made him really uncomfortable...the pheromones of an alpha made his stomach weak and forces him to choke down the vomit and anxiety crawling up his throat. 

 

Right now, he just needed to get simple things to at least try out...anything to help him be sane for his next heat which is bound to come in a few weeks. His doctor said they will proceed to get worse. If it gets much more worse than chopping his hair, inflicting his neck, and passing out for two days as well as a hospital stay, he didn't want to see what his next heat will bring him. Sadly, Viktor did not know what did what, what goes where, and how this does that. He was too scared to ask the people who work here too because apparently, people would think once you’re past the age 20, you should know these things. 

 

Viktor was at a lost and who else could he trust in situations like this other than Chris? 

 

Viktor never told Chris to put a sensor on things when he raves about his sex adventures with his alpha of a fiance, so Viktor got the gist of it all...maybe?

 

“Okay, so, we'll want to start you off with something small to practice with, but we might want to get you something bigger as well. Once you’re in heat, you can damn near take a fist,” Chris smirks darkly and darts his eyes to Viktor. “I would know.”

 

“Sometimes is wish you didn’t tell me your sex life with your husband.” Viktor walk down to examine multiple displays of toys for omega males. Blue eyes were quick to dart them away from the knotted dildo section. 

 

“I was hoping you would do the same with me once you and Yuuri would start to talk.” Viktor spun around with his jaw hanging, ready to fight his words. “Since you blew up at him, it will never happen.” Chris hums, leaning down to read the difference from each lube. Viktor couldn’t think of a way to respond other than press his lip into a fine line. 

 

“I-I didn’t blow up at him.”

 

“Oh?” Chris stood up, propping his left hand over his hip, eyebrow cocked. “So by you telling him to mind his business through a passive aggressive email isn't blowing up at him?”

 

“It wasn't passive aggressive! He crowded over my space and personal business.”

 

“Sweetheart, he was genuinely worried about you.”

 

“It's not his place to worry about me!” Viktor snaps, his voice booming in the small store where it was only the two of them there.

 

Chris bat his eyes before he turned away and exhaled a mutter of words under his breath. 

 

“Im sorry?” 

 

“Nothing, Viktor. We'll talk about it-”

 

“No, what did you say.” 

 

Chris sighs, turning his attention to Viktor, who was pulling at his coat sleeve, a habit he did when he's on the verge of an anxiety attack. 

 

“I said you’re being prejudice, Vicky. You're doing this thing where you'll judge someone before knowing if their an alpha or not. The poor boy could be a beta and you're treating him wrong.” Chris scratched at his head, then click his tongue against his teeth. “You were the same way with me when we first met. Sometimes I wonder if we'd still be this close if I wasn't an omega or beta. I just hope you take interest in him.”

 

“You’re right, let’s talk about this later.” He closed the conversation. Viktor got ready to storm out the store but Chris was fast to gently grab his wrist and stand close to his right side. The blonde smiles for a second and hands Viktor a vibrating anal plug, lube and a cleaning spray. 

 

“Don’t get upset so fast or jump to any conclusions of me wanting you to be with him to help you with your heats either.” Chris threw his arm around Viktor’s shoulders and pokes his chest right over his heart. “I want you be with someone and learn to love yourself through them and find yourself. Some people aren’t capable of finding themselves alone. I’m here but being your friend, I can help you but so much by pelting you with complements and boost your confidence once in a while.” 

 

“You sound like my therapist,” Viktor stated. Chris was right, there was so much he could do to help him. Chris also knew how he was with his last ex and how he was quick to defend Viktor at his weakest points. It wasn’t like Chris thinks VIktor isn’t trying but more so he knows the silver haired male could try harder. Viktor sighs as he read the boxes in his hands momentarily before he tries to hand it back to Chris. “And a vibrating one?”

 

“Stimulation for your prostate. It would be easier for you since you don't like the push and pull of someone in you yet. Push it in and let it sit in you. It's enough to keep you sedated through your heat.” 

 

Viktor was less embarrassed and wrote down in his mini notebook in his head everything Chris was saying. He read the boxes thoroughly now, reading how it has 10 settings. The lube was water base and the cleaner was just regular cleaner. He was going to ask why he was actually going through with buying these supplies but he needed too. 

 

He hasn't been masturbating like his therapist told him to do so. 

 

Viktor does, but only because he has too. He never found time or the need to touch himself for the thrill of it. To sit back and enjoy getting off, he has never experienced it before. 

 

Being a raped victim, it's difficult to tap back into your sexuality and sexual needs so easily. Reason why Otabek told him to sit back and try to pleasure himself once in a while to try and find his center self. One would think you’ll be over it after almost ten years.

 

Chris was telling him a list of what he should and shouldn’t do, sending links on how to properly stretch himself. Viktor begun to feel flustered once more, but he kept listening. He knew once he got home, he wouldn’t know what exactly to search to help with this kind of stuff. He was thankful Chris was telling him and was not making fun of him for not knowing, but Chris knew his situation. Chris asked if he was interest in porn, Vicktor was quick to wave his hand, in a timid mess.

 

Sometimes he think how Chris has been his friend for so long. He also thinks how their friendship is so close to the point, Chris was nice enough to buy his small handful of things at the sex store. When they left out, the man at the counter smiled at the both of them and told them to have a fun night which send Viktor blushing and Chris howling through the exit. Wouldn’t be the first time people linked them up as couples.

He carpooled with Chris, the ride home was silent. The dark red and black bag felt heavier in his lap the closer they got to his place. Would it be pushing it if he tried tonight? It was late in the night, he didn’t work tomorrow as for tomorrow is Sunday. 

 

“You’re thinking too loud,” Chris said, turning on his left blinker. 

 

“What is it suppose to feel like?” The question left from his lips so quiet and fast, he couldn’t help but flinch at how stupid it sounded. 

 

But Viktor never done this before and he put aside the fact he’s almost 28 and don’t know what pleasure is. He could google it but he felt like the answers wouldn’t be truthful or overhype the entire experience. Chris was into this kind of thing, after hearing so many sex stories with him and his husband, Chris is the one who would be honest with him. 

 

“Well...first thing first, never rush yourself into doing this.. You’ll be ready when you’re ready. Now are we talking about masturbation or one on one?” Viktor glared at him, making Chris laugh when he felt his eyes on him. “Right, masturbation. Hmm, lets see...You have to explore yourself.”

 

“Explore myself?”

 

“Yes, exactly that. Touch everywhere, even spots you’ll never thinking about touching on a daily basis. You have to relax, have a clear mind and not have random thoughts syke you out. You’ll start feeling like popcorn kernels in oil, you’ll get hotter and hotter, and when you start to touch the right spots, you’ll start to jolt. Your head rolls back, the tingling sensation from your brain goes straight through you, it’s almost numbing and soothing. People believe you have to have a wild imagination to get off or porn, but some can get off by just focusing on the feeling.

 

“Let your voice out and be honest with yourself, it’s just you in the room. It’s just who’s trying to please themselves, so no one is there to judge you. Let your hair down, get into it, breathe through it. It’s suppose to make your toes curl, make your gasp and grab your sheets. You feel bubbly, you get goose bumps. Prepping yourself will be a little uncomfortable but if you take your time, your body starts to open up.”

 

Chris turns into the Viktor’s driveway, parking the car. 

 

Viktor kept his head down. “Popcorn kernels, numbing, soothing, let my hair down, bubbly, goosebumps, little discomfort.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Chris cackled, grabbing Viktor’s hands in his. He rub his thumb over his knuckles. “Don’t rush into it...Even if you have to sit in bed for 4 hours to explore yourself before you actually do anything is fine. Fall into it as you go, alright?”

 

“Right,” Viktor got out the car and lean down. “Thank you, Chris….for a lot. For everything.”

 

“It’s not a problem, as your best friend, it is my duty. You’d do the same for me.”

 

~~~~~~

 

Sunday came and Viktor didn’t have any work to grade, he had all his lessons prepared for the week. He had a whole day to relax. 

 

His morning was consist of taking Makka out, bathing her, then changing his own clothes because Makkachin always knew how to pull Viktor into the water with her. The rest of the day was nothing.

 

Chris was busy with his husband and it wasn’t like Viktor had other friends.

 

He should probably work on gaining more.

 

After his several cups of teas, which were all caffeinated, he read up on the articles Chris send him. Viktor wasn’t sure if he was being his shy self or the feeling in his lower gut was gesturing something else. 

 

He was wide awake, it only being 1pm. He had nothing to do and even after an hour of cleaning, he was still buzzing. The thought of those articles made him curious every passing minute.

 

He found himself in his bathroom in just his boxers, the box to his anal plug open on the sink counter as he sat on the toilet to read the pamphlet on how it worked. After pulling it up in the wall to charge, he turn the shower on, adjusting the water to the right temperature.

 

Before he stepped into the shower he hesitated to grab the lube but after two minutes of debating, he left it on the counter. 

 

He let the hot water soothe him, taking deep breaths, building the courage to look at his naked from.  It’s funny, right? It’s funny how someone can shower, change in an out of clothes and not look at themselves naked. 

 

He did it once in a while but it was out of every blue moon. 

 

Looking down, he can see how much weight he lost in the past few weeks. He could see the deep cuts he had on his hips that pushed out. He grabbed his soap and towel, reaching out his arms, he scrub suds over the scarred skin on his inner elbows. Stepping under the water more, he hiss at the contact with his neck. 

 

_ Breathe. _

 

He took an hour in the shower to relate himself.

 

Entering his room, he tossed the charged toy and lube onto his bed. He stares down at it for a second then goes over to close his door and turn off his lights. He stumbled to his bed but when his hand pat the comforter, he stood there. 

 

_ Breathe. _

 

He took a deep breath in and unravel the towel from his waist. 

 

“It’s just you.”

 

_ Breathe.  _

 

He place the towel at the foot of his bed then crawled in the middle of it. 

 

There he sat on his knees, bare with damp hair in the dark of his room. 

 

He was running in his head steps to the article Chris send yesterday. 

 

After all the articles….he still didn’t know what to do. 

 

With shaky hands, light pressure of his fingers start to roam. His right hand traveling from his chest, up to his shoulders to embrace there lightly. His left hand glides down over his abdomen, his index fingers circling around the navel of his bellybutton. 

 

“Mm,” the small noise made Viktor stop his hands and they were ready to cover his mouth but he reminded himself it was just him. Like Chris said, it’s just him. 

 

The silence in the room made it awkward but the sound of a tv playing in the background would trigger him, he already knows it. He could put music on but it would kick his out his train of focus. 

 

It took probably 30 minutes for him actually lie down in bed. His slim fingers sliding down his body, slowly. When the tips came in contact with coarse curls, his breathing picked up but not in a good way. 

 

“It’s just me, relex.” If anyone was to watch Viktor, they would call him crazy for talking to himself but he kept trying to coach himself through each step. 

 

He ends up grabbing himself at the base of his semi-hard cock, shuttering at the contact. He tried to stroke himself into fullness but his mind was too focus on not focusing on negative memories. 

 

Glimpses of his father.

 

_ Breathe. _

 

Glimpses of his last ex who pushed him too far.

 

_ Breathe. Focus, Viktor. _

 

Viktor took another deep breathe and he felt his body relax out of nowhere. He head loll back into his pillows and he arched both his legs, feet planted on the bed. He erased his mind over and over, his breathing picked up but he wasn’t sure if it was good or an attack. 

 

He didn’t realize he was still stroking himself. He fell into this slow rhythm. Slow wasn’t something he’s use to, everyone was so rough with Viktor, even himself during his heats. He was trying to do what his therapist told him, what Chris told him, what several articles about rape victims trying to engage with sex. 

 

Slow.

Languid. 

 

He could tell he wasn’t going to be able to do the next step, which was preparing himself. It was all too fast so he tried his best to ignore the slick sliding out his twitching entrance. 

 

This was a first in a long time for Viktor to be this aroused for so long without freaking out.

 

He felt the caffeine of the teas he had died down and everything felt like it was sluggish. 

 

His body sunk into the bed more. He felt warm but as minutes passed, his panting got more noticable and his skin got hotter. The weight of his feet push his hips up as he began to thrust up into his grip at a leisurely pace. Small pants and mouse like moans came out his mouth and even though it’s just him in the room, he didn’t like his voice. But as a challenge, he let his voice out a little more and his arousal heighten. His length twitching his his right hand and Viktor couldn’t help but groan and push his hips more into his hand. 

 

After years of lower stomach pains, this was new. He felt bubbly, he felt his legs shake a little.

 

Viktor flicked his wrist just a tad bit faster, his chest start heaving, sweat beading at his forehead. He tried to focus but he also thought he was going to have a panic attack with how he’s breathing. It was silly, he knows, but he went to go put his hand over his chest to calm himself. 

 

His hand moves too fast as his palm graze over his left nipple and it sends his body jolting forward. 

 

“O-oh!” That was all it took for Viktor to finally fall into prey to the pleasure. 

 

It was nice. It was really nice for his mind to be clear for just a second and let his body fall.

 

He muttered a tangent of yeses as his back arched off the bed, his grip tightening around himself, his other palmed at his forehead and yanks at a few silver strains. He kept blinking at the ceiling, flicking his wrist a bit faster, biting his bottom lip out of habit to stop his cries. A blush creep heavily on his face. He was trying to find a little push, something. Desperation was at its peak and he shut his eyes to chase after his climax.

 

With closed eyes, he pictured Yuuri pushing him onto one of the classmate’s desks like he did to check his temperature. However, his hand wasn’t on his forehead but instead on is right hip. Viktor is fully seated on the desk as the Japanese male push himself closer onto Viktor. The heat of him and god, the way he snatched Viktor’s jaw up for their faces could be leveled. 

 

The grip on both his hip and jaw felt so real, so secure. But nothing felt more real than Yuuri pushing his groin against his and cradling his face, placing his lips on Viktor’s for him to taste his words,  _ “I got you, baby.” _

 

“Aah!” The voice he didn’t know was his vibrated out his throat. His hips spasmed, his legs gave up, and he couldn’t help his body curling up on his side. He let go, he “let his hair down” and let the buzz like feeling shoot through his entire body as he came in the palm of his hand. His whole body shaking and Viktor couldn’t help but to breathe a laugh when he realized he did  _ that. _

 

The giddy feeling flushed away fled when Viktor came down from his high and laid on his back. 

 

In the dark of his room, at 6 in the evening, Viktor’s voice wavered out to the ceiling. 

 

“Oh my fucking god…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it too early for Viktor to start having 'wet dreams' of a teacher he's sharing a room with at school?  
> Maybe. 
> 
> Happ New Year's to you all. Stay safe and warm~  
> Again, thank you all for still reading! It really does mean a lot to me. 
> 
> Kudos, comments, shit, even hits makes me a happy bean :)


	7. Peace Treaty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor gets a little push from Chris to go out to Yuuri's birthday party. It's fun for Viktor, he's in denial at the fact he likes the pre-school teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the summary. I love the new one better, it's a better description of the story. It's not going to be about Viktor and Yuuri's growing love, but Viktor finding himself. 
> 
> College takes up my time, inspiration to write is hard to find, and I feel so bad when I don't deliver better chapters. I know I can gather better wording, describe the situation or locations better but I draw blanks a lot. Slow burn is new to me, so finding backstories instead of time jumping is really difficult. 
> 
> I do appreciate those who are still reading and supporting this although part of me wants to drop it.

The school was packed on Monday. With the preschool, first, second, and third grade students joining the high school, a few changes were made. From what the principal from Katsuki’s school, they were still having trouble with the building for it's still not safe to bring kids back. Meaning these few weeks may turn into a few months.

 

On top of their school still being closed, Principal Yakov still has not taken the time to clean the extra rooms, meaning Viktor will still be sharing the room with Katsuki. They've shared the room a few times but Viktor is always quick to hand over the room and hide in the teacher lounge on break. 

 

Conversation with the brown eyed man are brief..

 

He should probably take his therapist advice for once as well as Chris about opening up and how peppy he feels, he'll give it a try today.

 

But here's the issue….Viktor wants to talk to someone he had imagine touching him to help get him off last night. It's not like Yuuri would know he did such thing but it felt so real. He's worried Yuuri would take one look and go “So, you enjoy touching yourself while thinking of me?”

 

Viktor felt blood rush to his cheeks, burying his head in his books. In the teacher lounge for his lunch break, he was trying to study up on Omegas and their heat cycles, to understand when he would start regulating while on birth control. He got a degree about omega health and knowing the top to bottom information about alphas, betas, and omegas. However education in this field, facts and statements change every year. He needed to keep updated incase one of his students ask for advice…. He did it for himself because he needed to figure out his body more to avoid having situations at school around his students and staff. The last thing he needs, to have a heat in the middle of his teaching, at school. 

 

For some reason, after last night, Viktor has been glowing ever since. He almost manage to hit a car on his way into work and ran one red light….but it’s fine, because he’s in a good mood for once. His mind was not filled with negative, dark thoughts like most days, his anxiety is nowhere to be found. He felt like he could even call his mother and be honest with her about everything he’s been going through….

 

Maybe…

 

He did end up texting her in the morning to check on her well-being. She had mentioned she will be waiting on a visit to see her soon. Viktor told her he will when money comes to him more.

 

It wasn’t a lie, being a full time teacher at a high school pays but so much and living status here in America is ridiculous. Money wasn’t his only excuse, now with his body changing once again on him, he wasn’t sure how to state to his mother he was struggling. 

  
  
  


The bell rings, declaring lunch break was over. His first two blocks, he teaches in his class then lunch then teach the last two in a different classroom after switching with the preschool class. Sadly, Viktor left some of his notes in the class, so he had to backtrack. His good mood wavered into nervousness since he had to face Katsuki so soon….

 

_ It’s not like he’ll know, Viktor.  _

 

When he entered the class, he forgot Katsuki’s class has already started when he was on his lunch break.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know-” Viktor’s voice died down in his throat, witnessing Katsuki sitting criss cross on the floor with confetti and streamers in his hair. A group of kids formed in a circle around him, blowing paper party horns and clapping. 

 

Viktor though he has walked into some weird ritual that only younger kids knew about, because Viktor was concerned and very much lost. He has never been around little children before, he has only dealt with teenagers in his whole teaching career. 

 

Viktor couldn’t help but hold is breath when brown eyes glazed at him with those thick, blue frames sliding down the bridge of Yuuri's nose. The nerve for him to stretch his lips into a smile in his direction shook his spine. 

 

_ Oh god, he knows! _

 

“Hello, Mr. Nikiforov! Welcome to my class.”

 

“Woaaah,” Viktor drop his head to see a small child with sparkling grey eyes and ash, black hair. He put his hand slanted to his forehead and saluted towards Viktor several times. Viktor would be lying if he said the way the child struggle to stay on his tippy toes with his tip of his tongue touching his upper lip wasn’t cute.  “You’re like 12 feet tall.”

 

Yuuri stood up from the floor, a few of his students running off to the other side of the room. The boy kept staring at Viktor with awe. 

 

“You are really pretty too, are you my teacher’s girlfriend?” Yuuri jolts hard enough to let shimmers of confetti fall off the top of his head. Viktor on the other hand was debating if he should feel flattered being called pretty or attacked for being called a girl. 

 

“Okay!” Yuuri claps his hands together before placing them on his knees he had bent to be leveled with the other. “ Timothy, go play with the others!”  

 

Timothy giggled as he ran off the multicolored mat placed in the center of the room. 

 

Katsuki sighs, standing back up and picked at a few pieces of confetti on his head. 

 

“Excuse me for the mess, one of my students told their parents about my birthday.”

 

Viktor put it all together, he notice the tiny cupcakes on his desk for Katsuki’s class and the “ritual” the kids were doing made much more sense.

 

“I didn’t know kids could be this hyper and caring for their teacher.”

 

“I’m sure your students do the same for you, no?”

 

The dark haired boy decided to take his glasses off to clean them with the bottom of his dress shirt and Viktor felt color rush to his face. If he wasn’t careful enough, he could expose his scent in the middle of a classroom full of young, innocent children. 

 

What?

 

He’s just cleaning his glasses and Viktor felt like a teenager who couldn't control his body's reaction. Before the other could put his glasses back on, Viktor snaps his attention to his desk and moves towards it.

 

“I-I just have to grab a few papers from my desk if that’s okay?” Even with his body facing away from Katsuki, he could feel the tension and set of eyes burning the back of his head. And of course, his papers are not in the spot he thought it would be, making his stay in the company of someone he’s trying to avoid longer. 

 

Over the scream of kids, Viktor could hear a grown man footsteps in his direction and  _ my lord please rip my heart out. _

 

“Mr. Nikiforov, if I may.” Yuuri's voice sounded soft and so close to Viktor….too close. Viktor hums to announce he's listening as he dug deeper in his desk for these goddamn assignment. Who knew Viktor would hate converse to this extreme. 

 

“For last week, I would like to apologise for invading in your privacy as well as your personal space. That was extremely wrong of me and-” 

 

Viktor's hands froze and every word Yuuri was saying to him started to fade. 

 

First, Viktor wanted to quickly tell him, yes, it was extremely wrong of him. Second, he wanted to ask why on Earth would he apologise? People who did something to Viktor and was in the wrong, never said sorry for their wrong doings. It was always Viktor's fault, was it not? 

 

Viktor could hear Yuuri sputtering now and he couldn't help but smile at this man who came off so calm, is a stuttering mess. 

 

After he finally found his papers, he said, “Mr. Katsuki, you're fine.” Because at the end of the day, Chris was right. The brown eyed male was just worried about Viktor's well-being. It was a kind gesture which kind people did, to strangest of strangers even. If Viktor were to rip his apology in Yuuri’s face, he'll be back at square one with trying to make change for himself and god, step one was hard enough. 

 

“I started off on the wrong foot kind of thing and since our school will be merged for a few more weeks, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”  Yuuri reached over on the desk to grab a plastic container with blue, frosted cupcakes. Viktor could see how shaky his hands were trying to open the clear tupperware and it lead Viktor trying to figure out why Yuuri was now the one who was nervous. 

 

“My student, Mariah, made them for me with her mother. I have too many and the last thing I need are these little ones hype on sugar, bouncing off the walls.” When Yuuri gestured the cupcake to Viktor, he felt a rush of emotions.

 

It was heavy nostalgia.

 

It was different, yet, the same gesture Chris did his last few years into college here in the states. When Viktor did not know anybody or when he refused to even talk to others around him. 

 

“Mr. Nikiforov, let this cupcake be a peace treaty?”

 

Viktor notice to small bow the other male had and the way his arms extend for him to accept the offering. Viktor huffed a laugh, tucking the his papers under his left arm to pick up the cupcake from the palm of Yuuri’s hands. They were adults but the situation was handled in such goofy way, he couldn’t reject. 

 

“Last time I checked gifts are given to the one with the birthday….I accept.”

 

He heard Yuuri across from him let out a long breath, clapping his hands together over his chest with a huge smile. 

 

“Aah, thank you so much.”

 

Viktor stood there for a second, he had attacked someone kind hearted last week, just for checking on him. Viktor nodded, heading towards the door to leave, hand pushing down on the door handle when it hits him. 

 

Hand still on the knob, he turns a little to face Yuuri. 

 

“The email, I wanted to say how rude I came off in it-” Viktor felt himself ready to speak paragraphs, so he cut off his voice to find better wording. His time was gone when the second warning bell went off, meaning he was going to run late to his class if he stayed here too long. 

 

“I have to go to my class now, sorry.” Viktor copped out last minute, using the bell as an excuse.

 

“My friend,” Yuuri voice bursted out. “He's throwing a birthday party at one of my favorite restaurants, we could talk about it then.”

 

Viktor’s body went stiff, lost for words once again. Yuuri’s students started to get rowdy and he did some weird thing with his hand and said something about a quiet fox. Yuuri’s offer kept repeating in his head and his own voice refusing it. Viktor was beyond overwhelmed in the small room full of screaming children and his own thoughts, enough to have him say,

 

“Email me.”

 

~~~~~~

 

“You did what?!” Chris shouts across the Marble kitchen counter. 

 

Viktor shushed him, sinking on his elbows to rest his head in his hands. 

 

“There's no way I'm going.”

 

“Vitya, you gotta go now! It's his birthday and he invited you. Why don't you live a little?’

 

“Because I don't know him, Chris.”

 

“Yeah, you don't know him well enough. That's why you're going so we can change that.” 

 

Viktor began to pace his kitchen with his phone in his hand, waiting on Yuuri's email with the party information attached. 

 

He was really thinking about not going. He'd have to be social amongst others that aren't Chris. Viktor has never been to any social outings that hasn't been without Chris and his husband.

 

“I can't face him after yester-Friday,” Viktor caught himself, already feeling the blush powder his nose. He stop his pacing and started to head to his living room where Makkachin rested. 

 

“What happened yesterday?”

 

Viktor flinched, sitting next to his poodle and giving her more attention than his now curious friend. 

 

“I said Friday,” Viktor retorted.

 

“You said yesterday~ What is it you're not telling me?”

 

Silence. Maybe because Viktor was shoving his face into Makkachin's soft curls on the top of her head to hide.

 

“Does it have something to do with your mood all day? You've been glowing since this morning when you entered the school.” 

 

The room still silent. He heard Chris take a seat next to him on the couch, leaning close to his side. Viktor felt him staring and he couldn't help but to muffle a response in Makkachin's fur.

 

“Mhad ma mex mream.” 

 

“What?”

 

Viktor sat up but didn't turn his attention to Chris who he could tell was smiling hard. 

 

“I said I had a sex dream, okay? I mean, it wasn't a sex dream….it was more like i was in the middle of….and,” Viktor saw in the corner of his eyes how fast Chris face sparked with joy. “ I needed a little push but..and then for some reason-”

 

“Oh, my God!” Chris jumps off the couch, scaring Makkachin off a flustered Viktor's lap and claps his hands as he laughed. 

 

“Christophe, I'm being serious!”

 

“Oh, mon cheri, I'm not laughing at you, I'm proud! I've been waiting to hear the day you've open up to yourself in bed!” Viktor's wide eyes shrunk, his head bowing down to his lap.

 

“There was no penetration, so I didn't do anything.”

 

“Vicky, that's besides the point, you were able to enjoy yourself freely  _ and  _ imagine someone touching you to help get off.”

 

Chris finally calmed down, sitting back on the couch when he notice Viktor wasn't cheering with him. Chris sighs at Viktor still having his head down, rubbing his hand on Viktor's back.

 

“Did you not enjoy yourself?” 

 

Viktor could lie and said he didn't so Chris could back of the subject to where this was heading, but it was Chris. There was no use to lying. 

 

“I did, reasons why I'm terrified.”

 

“What it is to be terrified about?”

 

“It was with someone I have to see every day on school grounds until their school is fixed up.” Chris continued to stare at Viktor, knowing there was more than that  “I don't know how to be of interest to someone…”

 

“What you mean is you're not sure to how to react when you have feelings-”

 

“I don't have feelings-”

 

“Okay, to have a certain interest in someone on a intimate level.” Viktor sighs heavily, sinking back into his couch, head handing backward off the back. “Just, listen to me for once, Vicky. Go to the party, talk to the boy. What’s the worst that could happen?”

 

Viktor huffs over at Chris because asking that is the worst. 

 

“No,” Viktor replied dryly, reaching the remote for the TV. 

 

“Viktor, you have to start somewhere. Like I said he’s really sweet.”

 

“I’m not risking it Chris!”

 

Viktor didn't mean to but he raised his voice in annoyance. It was more towards himself because he did want to break out this box he's been hiding in for years but it was so difficult. His mine and anxiety rushes in and cause him to panic and think the worst. God, he was stubborn. 

 

Chris didn't say anything else and kept quiet after Viktor shut down the conversation. The TV ran in the background , Chris was typing on his phone, Makkachin curled into a ball by the couch. His mood from this morning faded away and he was back to his usual self. Back to overthinking and worrying.

 

A chime went off in the kitchen. 

 

Chris ignored, so did Viktor because he knows what it is. 

 

Viktor tried to absorb himself into the movie playing on TV but he began to feel bad.

 

Yuuri invited him and it would be rude if he was to throw his offer back at him or not show up at all. It's not like he promise he would show or go, or leave his house in general though....

 

But it was Yuuri’s way of saying sorry and as overly protective Viktor is with himself, he couldn’t do the other wrong.

 

Viktor got up to get his phone from the kitchen counter, feeling Chris follow behind him with a smug walk.

 

The email indeed had the directions to the restaurant and a small message of saying he could bring one other guest with him as well.

 

“I'll go get dress,” Chris hums behind Viktor's shoulder. 

 

Viktor sighs out loud and clicks his phone off.

 

“I hate you…” 

 

“You love me, now let get you dressed in something slutty,” Chris chuckles when Viktor slaps the side of his head.

 

~~~~

 

After yelling at Chris several times he wasn't going to wear a super tight turtle neck to show off his body, they finally were able to leave out. 

 

He carpooled with Chris and as soon as they pulled up, Viktor fiddled with his hair then kept pulling up on his white turtleneck to cover the bandage on the right side of his neck.  

 

Chris reached over to slap Viktor's hand away.

 

“Now you tend to close details?” Viktor shushed him, going back to part his hair then putting it back then parting it again. “And you said you don't have an interest in this guy.”

 

“I don't.”

 

“Mmhm, sure.”

 

“Do I really look okay? The bandage on my neck isn't bad is it?”

 

Chris parked the car and gave all his attention to Viktor. 

 

“If anything, you look like a whole ass snack, now stop worrying.”

 

“My scar?”

 

“Your hair got longer since then, so it should cover it.”

 

Viktor took a deep breath in and held it until Chris got out the car, shutting the door behind him. Chris taps the driver's side window to get Viktor’s attention. 

 

“I would say take your time, but the party starts in ten minutes.” 

 

Viktor nodded his head and finally breathed out then back in, then out. When he touched the door handle the felt himself shaking. 

 

“I lied, I can't do this.” Viktor said loud enough for Chris to hear outside the car. It only made Chris come around to the passenger side to pull the door open. He leans in to grab Viktor's wrist to tug him out the car. Viktor was seconds away from struggling from his grip but he gave up as soon as Chris already had him on his feet, shutting the door. 

 

“It’s just dinner. You look amazing, i got you if anything goes wrong, now let’s go.”

 

They entered the restaurant where it was nothing too fancy and not overly crowded with families and their annoyingly loud children either. Red and gold popped out, the ambience was warm with clinks of glass tableware, chattering, and sizzling of the grill. 

 

A short woman with reddish brown hair came over in black high heels and a powder pink dress, stopping at her knees. She must be one of the pre-third grade teachers? Viktor feels like he has seen her around the school. 

 

“Hello, Mr. Nikiforov?”

 

“Yes, um, Mrs. Nishigori?” Her face lights up and nods. 

 

“Ah, thank goodness. Yuuri didn't say it but he's been showing how destress he was about you not coming. His friend kept asking if you were ever going to show up.”

 

Viktor felt Chris nudge him in his lower back and Viktor was tempted to kick him in the ankle as a reflex but he kept his feet on the ground. He loves Chris, he does, but there are times Viktor wants to drown him in a pond of water for teasing him so much.

 

Viktor started to think if Yuuri was worried about him not showing, how would he react if he did show at all. 

 

“Everyone is in the back, come come!” She was bouncing with energy, almost grabbing Viktor’s hands to pull him with her. Thankfully, Chris was willing to grab his hand before her and followed suit. 

 

There were a handful of people Viktor did not know sitting across one another. He did however notice Yuuri. Viktor wasn’t sure if it’s his medication or his near heat, or his mind playing tricks on him but he found himself going scarlet when he saw Yuuri. 

 

His appearance wasn’t anything different from what he saw on school grounds. White shirt with black stripes and a black dress jacket over it, regular jeans to match... Maybe it was the lighting? His fluttered feeling left the building when he saw someone poke and whisper in Yuuri’s ear. It was the same guy who left with Yuuri the after their first board meeting. 

 

_ He’s probably dating him outside of school.  _

 

Viktor stop his steps, realizing what he was thinking. 

 

Why does it matter if he was dating someone else? 

 

“Mr. Nikiforovo! Welcome!” Yuuri grins. 

 

“Mr. Katsuki, happy birthday.” Viktor voice was so low and insecure. “I didn’t get you a gift, everything was last minute.”

 

Yuuri shakes his head eagarly, a tint of pink on his cheeks and Viktor felt weak. 

 

“Your presence is all I asked for. Thank you for coming.” 

 

While Viktor was trying to compose himself, a young, tan man rushed up to greet him. 

 

Chris chimes in on time, throwing his arm around Viktor’s shoulders, reaching across the corner of the table to shake the tan man’s hand to introduce himself, which lead to the table greeting each other on a first name basics. Other than counseling and those who are really close to him which are a very few, he has only been addressed by his last name. He hasn’t been around others off school grounds in a long time, so it was new to him. 

 

Seung-Gil

Yuuko

Takeshi

Hisashi 

Phichit 

Chris

 

When it cycled back to Viktor, he hesitated because he felt like he didn’t need other who he didn’t know so well call him by his first name. It sounded really stuck up but it was his way of protecting himself. After he really thinks about it, he doesn’t know how keeping his first name a secret is in any way a shield. 

 

After an awkward pause, he tells them his name and everything blended into smalltalk and laughs at the table. Chris pulled up a chair and sat next to Viktor, right next to Yuuri and his friend. 

 

The environment was welcoming….and very comfortable. All reasons why Viktor was on edge. Anything could happen, anything could escalate. Anything could make Viktor leave the restaurant in a heartbeat. 

 

Viktor these felt himself zoning out, his head down, heart pounding in his ear when his nose decided to let every scent it was picking up at the table. He was so used to stopping himself from scenting others around him since he was younger but had days he couldn't hold back. 

 

To his horror, today was one of those days. 

 

Omega.

Omega.

Alpha.

Alpha.

Alpha 

Beta.

Alpha.

 

_ Who is what? Who can I trust? There's too many alphas at one table. Why did I decided to leave the house? _

 

“Viktor?” Viktor snaps out of it at the sound of a sweet concerned voice. His eyes automatically found Yuuri's who was now sitting next to him. “You alright? Chris has been trying to get your attention. They're asking for drinks.”

 

Viktor froze for a second and he felt everything pause for a second then proceeded. 

 

“Uh, water is fine.” 

 

If Viktor wasn’t mistaken, he might have caught Yuuri shot a glare to Viktor’s left. When he felt the rub of Chris soothing motion on his back and see Chris talkin to Seung Gil, who doesnt seem to in depth at what they're talking about. 

 

“So, Christophe, you're a married man?” Viktor snaps his attention back to Yuuri who asked the question.

  
  


“Yes I am!” He took his hand off Viktor's back to flare his hand out dramatically to show off his ring. “Been married for almost three years!” 

 

“That's so sweet,” Phichit lean more on the edge of the table to examine his ring more. The chief same to prep a starting dish for all on the open grill placed in the middle of the table. “Well, who's the lucky person?”

“I have pictures, hold on! He's such a handsome man, wouldn't you agree Viktor?”

 

Viktor was too busy trying to look through the menu debating if he was hungry or not this late at night. He's so used to hearing Chris gush about his husband 24/7, he just hums in return.

 

“Picture?” Yuuri asked. 

 

As Chris dug in his pocket to grab his phone, Phichit gasps. “You could had fooled me, I thought Viktor was the lucky man.”

 

Averting his eyes off the menu, to quickly wave away at Phichit. 

 

“Oh no. A lot of people think we're together but I’m actually single.” 

 

Phichit whistles, resting his chin on his folded hands.“There is no way you’re si-OW!

 

“Phichit,” Yuuri stood up fast, grabbing Phichit by the wrist. “Why don’t you come to the restroom with me?”

 

“But I don’t-”

 

Before Viktor could process what was happening, Yuuri and his friend ran off. 

 

Chris beams towards Viktor.

 

“A lot is happening at this table,” Chris whispers. “I’m seeing things unravel every passing second and the alcohol still hasn't been passed around yet.”

 

The chief passes out the starting plates, setting Viktor’s plate in front of him.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Chris cocked an eyebrow, leaning closer so only the two of them could hear.

 

“In the past 20 minutes, I’ve notice Seung Gil staring at Phichit majority of the time, Yuuko checking her phone every five minutes meaning she must have kids, and Yuuri getting protective over you.”

 

The last part through Viktor off. 

 

“I could debunk the last one.”

 

“As your second pair of eyes, you can’t debunk it. Have you not notice Phichit and Yuuri doing the best friend tag team? There is no way they would gang up on me and ask about my ring then question if you were the one I’m married to. He also shot me the most dirtiest glare when I was rubbing your back earlier.”

 

Viktor pulls back to sit up and poke at his rice. 

 

“You’re not seeing from my viewpoint, but Viktor,” Chris tilts his head back to finish his drink, sitting the cup back on the table. “He’s nothing like the guys that you fear the most.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, the end of this chapter is shit bUT!!  
> This is more like a fill-in chapter to get me closer to the shit that finna pop off next chapter. I do apologize for the heavy dialogue chapters. 
> 
> Comments and kudos warms my heart~ 
> 
> Again, thank yall so much for still reading and showering me with kudos. <333


	8. Courting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri says goodbye to his flatmate and conflict in the teacher's lounge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont have a beta reader/editor so all my chapters are shit and messy, Im surprise yall read over my mistakes. I just get too excited to post.  
> I'M SO SORRY GUYS BUT HI, I'M HERE WITH A CHAPTER!  
> I wanted to add another conflict before I posted this chapter but college has been killing me and I can't type as much as I want to! Being a film student is a bitch, so many projects and editing ;~;
> 
> So instead of leaving you guys waiting so long (I should have thought about this a month ago) here's what I have so far and I'll just break the chapters into two. SO the next chapter will be shorter but done so this month can get two uploads. 
> 
> I apologize! I know, to slow build is killing me too, I reject doing a slow build, I feel yall pain.  
> If you're still reading, thank you so much and thank you for waiting for an update!

“Yuuri, get off your ass and help me!” 

 

Yuuri heard Phichit holler from outside. The screen door was unscrewed from the wall to be able to squeeze Phichit's box spring out the house. 

 

Yuuri was busy finishing up paperwork in the bare of their living room. Sitting on the hills of his feet at the coffee table, he clicks his pen repeatedly, because moving out and completing forms on their sold house was a lot of work. 

 

It was hard to decide if Yuuri wanted to keep the house but there's no point to having a two bedroom house and it's just himself. Yuuri isolate himself enough, a bigger house would only make him feel twice as lonely. 

 

He didn't want to admit or confront Phichit on how deeply he's going to miss him. He's been with him for years, through thick and thin. His wingman, his nagging consciousness directing him in an adventurous path. 

 

Surprisingly, it's vise versa with Phichit, Yuuri doesn't have to ask him, he could feel it, he see it expressed through late night talks. Through taking turns making dinner or arguing who's turn it is to clean the bathroom. 

 

“Katsuki,” Yuuri could hear the pout in his voice. Yuuri don't recall him walking in the room. 

 

Phichit bundled up head to toe came waddling in with his arms crossed over his chest. It was almost 20 degrees out. Yuuri couldn't help but chuckle.

 

“You look like one of my students after I tell them playtime is over.”

 

Phichit folds his arms up higher and deepens his pout. 

 

“You can sulk later, Yuuri. It's freezing, I'm one man with beta strength and can't lift my mattress on my car. So, up!”

 

“I-I'm not sulking.” Phichit arched an eyebrow. “Maybe over this paperwork, I am.” Phichit magical arched his brow further up.

 

“You're such a terrible liar~,” Phichit sings, making his way behind Yuuri to put his hands on his shoulders, giving him a little shake. 

 

Yuuri's glasses slowly started to slide down the bridge of his nose with each swaying motion. Yuuri groans, standing to go grab his coat and slip on his boots. While zipping his coat, Phichit stands in front of him bowing his head down to try and catch Yuuri's expression. Yuuri only tilt his head away when he felt his eyes water. 

 

“Yuuuurrriii!” Phichit voice was playful until he put his arms around Yuuri to bring them into an embrace. “I'm not far,” his voice saddens. 

 

“I know.”

 

“And we could always call and hang out. We can still celebrate holidays as well.”

 

“I know.”

 

“And very soon, we could go on double dates together!”

 

“I-” Yuuri blinks a few times before pulling away. “I'm sorry, what?” 

 

“Don't play dumb! We found out Viktor is single!” Phichit spins away from Yuuri's hold and claps his hands together with a bright smile. “It's open season, you have to snatch him before someone else does!”

 

“I-Okay, no, backtrack. Double date?” Yuuri strains his voice. “As in you, Phichit the beta boy who stated he would never date because he's too busy?”

 

“You're dodging the point here.”

 

“Who are you dating?”

 

“Again, dodging the point.”

 

“Phichit!”

 

“Okay, it’s not official yet, but it's a secret! You'll find out once you ask Mr.Hot Russian man out!”

 

Yuuri almost choked on a laugh, a hysterical one at that. 

 

“I guess I'll never find out.” Yuuri went to go throw his coat on with Phichit behind him. 

 

“You're such a negative Nancy sometimes, Yuu~ri!” 

 

Yuuri followed Phichit out the door, into the cold to help with the bed. 

 

It's been a week since the birthday dinner which Yuuri invited Viktor to come. He was glad he came but very unhappy when Chris, who is still questionable to Yuuri, was too close to Viktor. On a spurt of jealousy, he felt the alpha in him to court and take Viktor right then and there but he calmed himself. 

 

Instead, he was bold enough to ask Chris about the ring on his finger, something Yuuri noticed that night. The fear that Viktor was already a man spoken for, his felt the weight on his glass heart lighten when Chris showed pictures of his husband...a man who wasn't Viktor. 

 

After dragging his loud friend to the restroom, he was on a high. A high which lasted for a second because now, he has to man up and ask him out. 

 

Yuuri has never been the one to ask someone out, it was always strangers finding interest in him once they find out the status of his second gender. No one has ever got together with Yuuri for being Yuuri but what ran in his blood. The generation in America was so different from home.

 

Here, people focus on creating a family as soon as possible, keep the status of their second gender strong and let it pass through generations.  His home in Japan, you base things on an emotional level first. After the steps of being intimate, bonding then deciding if you want to create a family base on the feeling of one another. You were whatever your second gender was and it never gave your family a bad name. 

 

The whole thing is strange. 

 

Returning back to the group, Viktor and Chris got up from the table. Sadly, Viktor wasn't feeling well and he apologised for not being able to stay late with everyone. The time with him was so short. So, so, short and Yuuri wasn't sure how to expand their time together without sounding too forward. 

 

Phichit kept telling Yuuri to ask him on a date but again, Yuuri isn't ready for exposing how interested he is with him. 

 

Their schedules are so weird at school so it's not like he can eat lunch with him while his preschoolers roam the room without anyone watching them. 

 

“Just ask him out, Yuuri.” Phichit pants from the other side of the car, lifting the bed on top of his car with the help of Yuuri. 

 

When they finally got the on top of the car, they got in the car after Phichit threw him the other end of the rope. 

 

“I don't know anything about him, Phichit.”

 

“I have this crazy idea how people can learn more about one another!” Phichit finish tying the rope as tight as he could, grabbing another rope from the backseat. “Get this

... they're called dates!” 

 

“Woah! Phichit, you're a genius!” 

 

Phichit sticks his tongue out, getting out to throw the second rope over the mattress.

 

“Sarcasm doesn't get you a boyfriend, Katsuki. It leaves you single.” Yuuri got out to catch it and they both sat in the backseat now to tie the second rope. 

 

“Okay, but what if he's not...you know?” 

 

“Gay?!” Phichit laughs out loud and it made Yuuri shove his shoulder roughly in defense, knowing what was coming. “Or European?”

 

“Now's not the time for your broadway jokes! I'm serious!”

 

“Well, we know he's European. I also know this crazy way of knowing rather or not someone is one thing or the other!”

 

“Is it by asking?”

 

Phichit pulls the ropes to make sure they're secure before turning to face Yuuri with his hand clasps over his mouth, gasping. . 

 

“Woah! Yuuri, you're a genius!” Yuuri only shot a death glare at him, causing his friend, who is going to be a few miles away, to chuckle. When he spoke, it was so soft and genuine. “You're really not like most alphas, Yuuri. After years being around you, you're a nice man, a sweet selfless man. So if you're worried about you not being the good fit for a relationship, you're wrong.” 

 

“You have to say that, you're my friend.” 

 

Phichit close the door, Yuuri did the same. Sitting in the cold of Phichit tiny green Kia Soul, Yuuri couldn't help but bow his head at the silence, picking at his fingertips. 

 

“I really wish my best friend could see how much he's worth and how much love he deserves other than what me and his family gives him.”

 

“I don’t know Phichit.”

 

“You’ll break one of these days. You’re Katsuki Yuuri, a man who gets what he wants once he puts his mind to it.”

 

Yuuri smiles to himself because Phichit is right. Yuuri never verbally point out his friend was always right because the younger would just brag on and on about it.

 

Phichit sighs out, sliding down in the seat to stretch his body. 

 

“That European’s ass finna be sore for days once you get a taste of him.”

 

“AH! Phichit!” Yuuri screech, slapping his thigh when Phichit burst into a loud laugh. “Why are you the way you are?”

 

“We’ve lived together how long, Yuuri? I’ve heard you lay it down on several times. I call you a sweet boy, but my god,after I've heard your ex scream like that? You’re ruthless.”

 

Yuuri blushes, opening the car door before he’s cupping in ears shut. “You’re unbelievable!” Yuuri shuts the door with his hips then head towards the house. Phichit follows him, whining Yuuri’s name apologetically. Yuuri help pack as many boxes Phichit's tiny car could hold then offered to help unpack, only to be told his boyfriend was helping him.

 

Yuuri didn't say anything, knowing that one of these days, Phichit is going to break and spill all about his boyfriend or whatever they are to him over the phone. He's never able to keep his mouth shut when he's excited about things, but he also keeps his mouth shut just in case of jinxing it. Yuuri couldn't blame him. 

 

When they screw the door back on the hinges, Phichit strong, positive vibes finally dropped. 

 

“We've been living together for like, years Yuuri. I have no idea how to start making meals for one and not two?” His smile completely fades into a deep frown. “And what if one of my hamsters pass away again? Who's going to comfort me?  Or who's going to remind me to put my clothes in the dryer? I'm super-”

 

“Forgetful?” Yuuri leans against the doorway crossing his arms over his chest for warmth. He rolled his eyes dramatical, his lip tugging a smirk. “Like you said earlier, Chi, I'm not far.” 

 

Phichit exhales, bouncing on his toes as he jingled his keys to the car in his pocket. “ Okay...I'll be back for the rest of my things tomorrow.” He turns to head towards his car. “I may need help unpacking sometimes this week. But I'll keep you posted.” 

 

Yuuri nodes his head, humming to confirm. Phichit got in the car, starting the engine before rolling his window down to scream out of. 

 

“And talk to Nikiforov, goddamnit! He's a whole ass snack and you're acting like you're on a diet!” 

 

~~~~~~~

 

Wednesday, December 6th is where Yuuri starts to worry about the lack of appears of Viktor. Students muttering that's it's unlike Viktor to not show up days in a row of teaching. The kids who get advice from him throughout the week constantly left notes on his desk for him to get later for when he shows up. When Thursday hit, the pile of notes were getting unorganized and Yuuri was nice to put them in a small folder to gather them all and not read them in respect of the students.

 

It was til then, Yuuri went into the teacher's lounge to read up on any articles to hear the other teachers spreading rumors about Viktor's absence. 

 

“He probably has a stomach virus, have you seen how small he's gotten?” A petite woman, probably in her early 40’s said, pulling out a chair to sit at the round table in the center of the room. 

 

A man at the microwave with grey eyes behind thick black frames stirs whatever's in his coffee cup with a plastic spoon. “ The principal would had inform someone what he was out for some virus. That man is hiding something.”

 

“Well,that's his business and not ours.”

 

“I'm telling you, he's gotta be an Omega, there's no way in hell he's a beta, have you seen him?” Yuuri peaks up from his laptop to catch the man talking across the room, narrowing his eyes at the remark.

 

“Not our business, Damian.” The woman said, gathering her things and headed to the door. “Don't go spreading rumors like a child, leave that man alone. He does so much for this school.” With that being said, she exits out the door, slightly slamming it behind her.

 

Yuuri and Damian were the only ones in the room and Yuuri was debating on leaving to avoid conversation, especially about someone's personal matter. 

 

“Mr. Katsuki, was it?” Yuuri flinch at this dark tone of the other man's voice. Yuuri wanted to leave but his kind soul told him to stay and talk. 

 

“Yes, and you are?” Yuuri's voice came off colder than what he expected. Maybe it was because he didn't like how Damian was so smug or the way he talks. Or maybe it's the way he's casually casting out his pheromones nonchalant. 

 

He's one of  _ those _ alphas. 

 

The ones Yuuri tried his best to avoid growing up. 

 

“Mr. Lanbrook, but you can call me Damian.” 

 

Yuuri fakes a smile then mutters a “pleasure to meet you” as he went back to read his article on his laptop.

 

“You're the preschool teacher that shares the room with Viktor, right?” Yuuri hums, already uncomfortable about the man who was now taking the seat next to him to get closer. “You wouldn’t know the reason why Viktor is out, right?”

 

“Personal leave maybe,” Yuuri mumbles. He decided to cut his lunch break short and head back to the classroom to set up for his students. As he collect his items, Damian wasn’t too happy of his leaving when as he reach across the table to grab Yuuri’s hand and Yuuri is quick to snatch his hand away.

 

“What’s the rush?” 

 

He felt the air grow heavy and the scent of of something unfamiliar flooded his nose and it made Yuuri sick.

 

“You gotta secret too? Does it involve Viktor by any chance?”

 

Yuuri felt his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Excuse you,” Yuuri scoffs.

 

“Don’t play dumb Mr. Katsuki. He’s been out of school for a few days, you two share the same classroom but only see each other for a few minutes. For a scent to stick it takes longer than a handful of minutes and for some reason I can smell him on you.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes went wide and he felt his throat tighten. 

 

What?

 

“Come on Yuuri! How can you not smell him! I’ve been working under the same building with him for years and this year, it’s so odd, but I can finally smell him. It’s so faint and soft he’s probably been suppressing-”

 

“This subject matter is beyond immature, Mr.Lanbrook,” Yuuri abrupted through a hiss. It only caused Damian to tower over him now, making Yuuri stand straight after he almost trips over the chair. He was probably 5’9, and since he is now closer, Yuuri could examine him. He’s build like an alpha, if he wasn’t able to tell from his scent flooding the room. Brown choppy hair with a short length beard. 

 

“Why so? Is he your mate?” He got closer to Yuuri, crowding over him and it made the other part of him itch. 

  
  


“Can you please-” Yuuri whispers, squeezing his eyes shut, his fingers gripping on the side of his thighs. 

 

“Who do you think you are, coming up in my school and think it’s fine to court who ever you want?”

 

“‘M not courting anyone!” Yuuri was trying to talk but he kept getting cut off and his self control was fading each passing second. 

 

“No no, my time is now Katsuki, I’ve been looking at him for years and after getting a small hint of his scent, I can guess what he is. Viktor Nikiforov, the man who lied for years and said he was a beta is actually an omega male-”

 

Yuuri snaps, his lip pulling over his teeth as a violent growl leaves the depth of his chest.

 

“Move!” 

 

Damian was quick to step down, if he had a tail it would be between his legs and the room was silence minus the sound of Yuuri huffing and faint growls with each exhale. Yuuri wanted to scream, lunge forward and attack the man in front of him but his self control came back and he instantly regret all he has just done.

 

He grabs his laptop bag and throws it over his shoulder.

 

“I don’t know what’s your problem, but if you’re only after his secondary gender, you’re the worst kind of scum I know out there.” Yuuri yanks on the knob , when he steps out, his body slams into someone outside the door. He apologizes then run off to his car in the parking lot to catch some fresh air. 

 

~~~~~

December 15th, Viktor still has not been seen around the school. Yakov, the principal of the high school stated he has put in a month leave.

 

Rumors continued to spread about Viktor's leave, and Chris was also nowhere to be found along with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will anyone find out where Vitya went? Who exactly is Phichit dating? Will Damian be able to catch Yuuri's hands if he fucks with him again?  
> Tune in next time on The World's Painful Slow Build Where We All Just Want Yuuri to Hurry Up and Ask The Hot Russian Out-Z!
> 
> Comments and Kudos will help me pass my finals!!!(If only this was a true method!)


	9. Drunk and Reckless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chi gets a boyfriend. Yuuri Alpha mode kicks in. Viktor's somewhere were he shouldn't be. Mistakes were made and self loathing never been so strong in one room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE! 
> 
> I now have a beta reader who goes by BluSkates. She's been really sweet and fun working with! Please go check out her work as well! 
> 
> Enjoy reading this new chapter! I was going to make it short but it came out to 13 pages ahaha, oops. 
> 
> Comments makes me happy, kudos make me smiles, but those who are still reading gives me the push to keep typing! Please read the notes for a small message! (Im currently drunk right now, yall have an amazing week!!)

It was December 15th and Viktor still had not been seen around the school. Yakov, the principal of the high school, let the staff know that he had put in a month-long medical leave.

 

His students were of course upset that they wouldn’t be able to see or talk to him until after winter break. Many stopped by the classroom, Yuuri saw their faces fall as they realized the silver-haired man was still out.  Preschool had already started their winter break leaving Yuuri without his students until January himself. Thursdays he worked his second jobs as he normally didn’t normally didn’t have classes, but he found himself even more lonely being on a holiday break as his lived too far away to celebrate with. He had found the animal shelter a year ago and got a simple vet assist position where he did no more than feed, clean cages, and take the pets out for their walks. It was easy money and Yuuri used it as a small form of therapy since he loved the animals.

 

Seung Gil, another of the vet assistants, usually kept quiet on the job and kept his thoughts to himself. Yuuri never read that behavior as as rude or thought the man had a high strung ego, a mistake that others saw in him. His stone cold expressions were not meant to scare others off, Yuuri assumed it was just his face.

 

However today seemed different.  Walking in he was greeted by an almost chatty partner, and if Yuuri wasn’t mistaken, he could have sworn the Korean male had been...more vocal? 

 

“Yuuri?”  Seung-Gil furrowed his brow.

 

_ Oh crap!  He was talking to me. _  Yuuri smiled, “I’m sorry I guess I was lost in thought!”

 

Seung-Gil smiled back, “It’s okay, I asked if you were doing anything for holidays?”  The Korean man turned back to cleaning the cage he was working on.

 

“No.  My family isn’t close by so I’ll probably just get take out.”  Yuuri went back to work. He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“You know, uhm.  I know I don’t really talk that much but I consider us friends.”  Yuuri blinked at the sudden outburst. Seung-Gil hadn’t been cold, just reserved.  However over the past two weeks he had made an effort to talk more, even inviting Yuuri to lunch twice.  “You could...I mean, if it’s not too forward, maybe hang outside of work?.”

 

Yuuri smiled, “Thank you.  I’ll think about it.” He smiled and the two went back to their individual tasks.  It wasn’t until later, when Yuuri was walking the toy poodle, his favorite, that he noticed Seung-Gil studying his phone.  A quick glance over the shoulder confirmed his suspicion. “Hamsters?”

 

Seung-Gil gasped and pocketed the phone immediately.  “Yeah, I’m just looking into them for a...friend.”

 

Yuuri hummed, “I know someone who likes hamsters, too.”

 

Seung-Gil couldn’t have looked more awkward.  Yuuri chuckled when the man left the room.  _ Well, that explains it. _

 

A few days later the final clue fell into place as Yuuri was helping unpack Phichit’s belongings at his new, small home. There was always this faint smell of cinnamon and pine that lingered in the space, it was not Phichit’s scent, but mixed with his well. As a rule, Yuuri hated scenting others, but as of lately, the other, Alpha, part of him had been off the rails. Yuuri thought it could have been another Alpha’s scent, but he had worked around Seung-Gil long enough to know it had to be him. It’s visa verse with Seung-Gil when he comes into work, he could smell Phichit on him. 

 

A grin creeped onto Yuuri’s face because he never would have thought Chi would have an interest in a guy like that. Seung-Gil wasn’t boring but he was conservative by nature. Yuuri didn't question it any further and finished his shift for the night.  He knew the questions he had would be answered later on tonight. Yuuri's poor little car couldn't handle the snow and Phichit was willing to take him home. Unfortunately, home was not the first destination. Yuuri was stupid enough to forget that it was Friday and Phichit, being the man he is, loves staying out as late as possible. 

 

After Yuuri had locked up the building, he cast a confused at Seung-Gil who was still here. He wasn’t confused for long as once Phichit pulled up, blasting some god-forbidden broadway musical, the Thai man pointed to the backseat as quickly cleans the passenger side.

 

In between swiping fast food wrappings from the floor, Phichit’s voice chimed out, “Sorry Yuuri, boyfriend gets front seat!” 

 

_ Bingo.  _ Yuuri’s eyebrows shot up, but he kept his composure.

 

“Sorry.” A small voice peeps behind Yuuri, making him jump. He turned to find Seung-Gil with his hands in his pockets, face glancing down at the concrete. Yuuri cocked an eyebrow, not fully understanding why he was apologizing for. Seung-Gil could read Yuuri’s confusion, “Not for taking front, but for not telling you I'm dating your friend.”

 

“Oh!” Yuuri smiles, finally understanding. “It's okay, that's a private matter until you two decide to make it public.”

 

Catching Yuuri off guard, the Korean man gave an honest and open smile before getting into the car. 

 

Yuuri jumped in only to end up catching Phichit leaning over to pull Seung Gil in for a kiss. Yuuri was embarrassed to witness it but the amount of happiness blooming through his chest was enough to ignore it.

 

“Your friend is in the car,” Seung Gil mutters, shyly pushing away from his boyfriend. Yuuri chuckles to himself.

 

Phichit blows a raspberry as he backed the car up to pull out the parking lot. Yuuri was about to complain that he did not want to go out but after being slammed with two jobs and always running around, he knew Phichit would yell at him to take a damn break for once, so he kept his mouth shut.

 

The real reason why Yuuri didn’t want to go was more serious. He was getting dangerously close to pre rut, which was closer than his usual scheduled ruts. Doctors has told Yuuri several times, without a mate and not being sexually active with someone, it could cause his body to create off scheduled ruts. However, Yuuri never had to worry about him snapping or losing control as he had mentally and physically trained himself ever since he was marked as an Alpha. Though, this would be time in a the first few years where he had rely on suppressants to keep his rut in check.

 

Normally, Yuuri only took suppressants to keep his body in check, but he never felt the need to hide his status through them. Unlike Omegas, Alpha mating stages are more tame when off the medication when not mated. Alphas didn’t go into heat as often as an Omega would, but when an Alpha goes into a rut it hits hard. Self control is drowned out by instinct. But with a mate, bond and all, it’s another, more pleasant story.

 

After his last relationship ended, which was highly sexual, Yuuri went back on his medication. His ruts weren’t as strong, but as each month passes, Yuuri’s brain would get fuzzy, control became a second thought, and it came to a point Yuuri couldn’t leave the house until it passed. Ruts don’t last days on end, like an Omega’s heats, when outside a bond, but it lasts until the crack of dawn the next day.

 

Yuuri tried hard not to be the stereotypical Alpha who took advantage of others, mainly omegas, for his own physical release.  He never wanted to come off as aggressive, but he believes he’s a pro at self control now. There aren't many Alphas who are like that in this society, even fewer who want to be.  It’s common sense but once people are labeled something that is seen as superior, they’ll use it to their advantage to no end. 

 

Yuuri could easy hook up with someone to make his ruts less painful, but was never comfortable with one night stands. So he sits in his room in pain, feeling gross and tired for 24 hours.

 

The bar was small and a little far from their usual stop but Seung-Gil said the drinks were a spot that hit close to home and Phichit, being the sweet man he is, he couldn’t say no to his boyfriend. 

 

Yuuri wasn’t sure if he wanted to drink but after Phichit claimed himself as the sober driver, Yuuri allowed himself to indulge for Phichit’s sake.The atmosphere was calming and when Yuuri hit his fifth glass of peach soju, he was bubbly and very talkative with Seung-Gil who got chippy...and very touchy.

 

With Yuuri sitting across from the couple at such a small table, he could hear Seung-Gil whispering in Phichit’s ear, giving a sly smirk before leaning over to pepper kisses on Phichit’s neck, traveling up to his jaw.

 

“My friend’s right in front of us,” Phichit jokes, mocking Seung-Gil’s remark from earlier. Yuuri smirks, taking a sip from his already empty glass of beer, glancing away as if he’s ignoring them. Phichit ends up kicking Yuuri’s ankle under the table causing Yuuri to snort, wiping his upper lip with the back of his hand. “I’m heading to the restroom, Yuuri, you’re cut off. We’ll head out once I come back.” Yuuri rolled his eyes, turning to face Seung-Gil as Phichit walked aways.

 

Yuuri was aware he had probably overdone it with the alcohol, he already knew he was going to feel it tomorrow morning but this was the most fun he had in months. 

 

_ Worth it. _

 

“So,” Yuuri tilts his head to look across from him. “Phichit?”

 

Seung-Gil’s expression was always hard to read but when Yuuri witnessed the dark blush, he could tell the Korean man was serious. Yuuri had a protective streak over his friend, and one of his fears was that Phichit would be taken advantage of in a relationship, even Phichit said he worried about it as he was quick to fall for someone. But Yuuri could see how genuine Seung-Gil was. 

 

“Yeah….He’s really…”  The man across from him stopped, searching for words.

 

Yuuri smiled, offering, “Natural and easy going?”

 

Seung-Gil nodded, swirling his ice in his glass.

 

Yuuri watched the smile dance around Seung-Gil’s lips as he thought about the absent man.  “He also has a sensitive heart. So, as his friend, I wanted to tell you to be gentle with it, alright? He’s never dated anyone before. He’s always drowned himself in his photography work, using that as a reason for avoiding relationships.”

 

Yuuri always notice the loneliness Phichit would display but he was always quick to bounce back and act like it didn’t bother him. But Yuuri did recall one drunken conversation in which Phichit revealed his fear that he was going to die alone, that he would never be compatible with anyone. He went on saying how no one would have an interest in him because he’s boring and focuses on his work more than anything. Naturally of Phichit, he would laugh it off then poke fun at Yuuri for the rest of the night.

 

“I’ve notice and I’ll go at the pace he wants to go to make him comfortable with me.”

 

“Baby steps?” Yuuri asked, leaning over to pour a shot for himself and dark haired male across from him. They picked up their shots and tap the rim of their glass together as a toast of agreement. 

 

“Baby steps.”

 

They didn’t have much time to enjoy the warm swimming feeling the shot provided as seconds after their toast, Phichit ran back to the table, eyes wide open in terror. He practically tripped over to the table but Seung-Gil caught him by the shoulders.

 

“Phichit-?” Seung-Gil spoke but was instantly cut off, freezing as both he and Yuuri noticed the sweet smell of an unboned Omega in heat still clinging to Phichit’s clothes.

 

Yuuri could smell the stress in the air, mixed with other pheromones which were hard to read from here. 

 

“Yuuri, I-...The bathroom. There’s like three...no like four guys who are-” Yuuri is out his seat fast, tucking Phichit to sit because he feared the man would pass.

 

Phichit’s story was coming out in short spurts as he gasped for air.  “Chi, breathe.” Yuuri squatted down to rub his knees to stop them from bouncing in place. 

 

Phichit is finally able to settle himself to get out what he knew he needed to say,“Viktor, I saw him. It was so fast but I saw him.”

 

Yuuri’s heart drops when he realizes what his friend is saying.

 

“Nikiforov?”  Yuuri asked, knowing the answer, but hoping he was wrong.

 

As soon as Yuuri heard yes, he was on his feet heading towards the restroom. “Seung-Gil, watch Phichit. If I’m not back in ten minutes, come for me.” His words were venomous and Yuuri felt his blood boil. He thought the worst once he heard Viktor’s name, four males, restroom. At a bar?  He was terrified with what he would find.

 

Yuuri wasn’t thinking, the Alpha in him took over him as he pushed open the restroom door. 

 

_ Empty _ . The four males Phichit was talking about were nowhere to be found. 

 

But the scent of a distressed Omega in heat was heavier now and it took everything in Yuuri not to fall into the courting phase like the Alpha in him was screaming to do. He focused his Alpha to protect, reminding himself until he is dizzy with the thought of that and not to take advantage of the one who needed help.

 

Yuuri caught the smell of another Alpha and the stress pheromones of the Omega screamed louder than ever.

 

Everything stopped when the unfamiliar scents suddenly became all too familiar to Yuuri. There was a muffled gag before Yuuri saw someone collapse to the floor in the handicap stall, coughing violently before wretching into the toilet.

 

“Whoever’s in here, come out,” Yuuri kept his voice calm, but his fists clamped shut, tighter than ever because he knew who was in distress and he was fighting to control himself.

 

The man on the floor continued throwing up as a pair of feet shifted to unlock the stall door. When it swung open, Yuuri felt his body want to lung forward and kill the man.

 

They were both off of school grounds, in public, where Yuuri could do what his instincts had wanted to do for weeks. 

 

“If it isn't Mr. Katsuki! I take it that was your friend who scared off my crew.”  The man had dark, shaggy hair, his black glasses were askew before he adjusted them back on the bridge of his long nose.

 

“Landbrook,” Yuuri retorted. 

 

“Yuu-ri?” Viktor whispered in a voice almost missed in the echo of the restroom. Yuuri never thought he would hear the man say his name in such a pained tone.  He knew he never wanted to hear that tone again.

 

Landbrook reached up and closed the stall, locking Viktor inside, before approaching Yuuri. “Come on Yuuri, we're not on school grounds, please, call me Damien.”  The man had the audacity to try to sound friendly.

 

Yuuri felt his upper lip raise over his teeth for a quick second, but he composed himself again as Damien stepped closer.

 

_ This is bad. _

 

Yuuri held out a hand to indicate that Landbrook should keep back.  “Don't,” his voice deepened, the growl building in his chest was almost as painful as the knot in his stomach but he pushed it down.

 

Landbrook didn't listen as he inched closer to Yuuri who was now backed into the wall across the stall. “Don't what?!” Damien hollered. “Yuuri Katsuki, I thought Viktor wasn't your mate and here you are defending him as if he's your omega slave!” Damien got closer and crossed into Yuuri’s space, the growl that had been sitting at the bottom of Yuuri’s stomach leaks out, causing the high school teacher to flinch.

 

The arrogant man’s  confidence dropped and he stepped back, but laughed it off seconds later. “Was that to scare me?” He bellows a hysterical laugh cutting it short to slam his fist into stall door Viktor was in. Inside Viktor gasped and uttered a string of strained ‘nos’. Damien turned, opening the stall, that's all it took for Yuuri to snap into action, grabbing Damien by his baby blue shirt and swinging him against the wall. Yuuri slammed him hard enough to feel the force vibrate up his arm.

 

“I don't want you anywhere near him, mate or not. Do you understand me?” Yuuri hissed and when the other tried to defend himself with a growl, Yuuri yanked him up even higher against the wall. “A disgusting fuck thinking he could lay his hands on anyone so willingly. I should have you charged with attempted rape.”

 

Damian's smug grew even darker. “It's not rape if he's the one calling for the attention.”

 

Yuuri didn’t know the strength in his body was until that moment. He had never laid a finger on anyone in a violent matter, but when he felt himself throwing Damien on the tile floor and his arm cocking back, Yuuri couldn't stop himself.

 

His knees hit the ground and the pain in his knuckles of his right hand grew with a wet feeling as blood started running between his fingers. The man under him groaned as his head snapped to his right, smacking off Yuuri's fist into the tile floor.

 

“Yuuri!” The voice was groggy and gagged with fear. He turned to see Viktor cracking open the stall door.  Viktor was holding his stomach and the latch of the door as thought they were the only things keeping him from falling. The cloud around Yuuri's mind cleared for a second and he shifted his focus from Damien who was coughing up blood from the harsh strikes Yuuri has done. He moved away from the man on the floor to help Viktor, unconcerned with Damien.

 

Unguarded, Yuuri's head snaps upwards, followed by a tingling sensation sitting under his jaw as Damien landed a sucker punch. The adrenaline ran all too high to actually feel the pain rate but it didn’t stop him from tasting the blood in his mouth. It only made Yuuri cock his arm back even further to give all his attention to the man who was now hitting back and scratching at Yuuri's arm to be freed.

 

Yuuri couldn't get his last hit in as the restroom door busted open. Damien finally has the strength to push Yuuri off of him and stand to walk over to the man at the door. 

 

With blurry eyes he could tell it was Seung-Gil.

 

“Thank god,” Damien groaned, words slurred as if he were drowning in his own spit. “Thank god, you're here! This crazy man came in and attacked me!” 

 

Seung-Gil leveled a gaze on the poor excuse for a man and coldly replied, “If I were you I’d shut the hell up.” The Korean male’s voice carried a harsh tone, something Yuuri had never heard before. “You should get your shit and leave if you do not want another beating, understood?” 

 

Yuuri got up from the floor to grab a few paper towels to clean his hands smeared crimson as Seung-Gil and filth of a teacher damn near scream over each other. Once again his body went into auto pilot, throwing the paper towel in the bin, and opening the stall door Viktor is hiding behind.

 

Viktor moved back into the stall and slumped down the corner, knees pressed to his chest. His breathing pattern was all too familiar with Yuuri who squatted down next to him.

 

“Viktor, look at me…” When Viktor’s eyes don’t focus the Japanese man knew better than to beg the same thing twice so he tried something else. “Breathe in and out with me, okay?”

 

“In,” Yuuri counts to 8. “Out.”

 

It took several attempts but Viktor finally went along eventually matching his breathing to Yuuri’s. Seung-Gil came in, opening the door slowly not to scare anyone. 

 

“He's gone,” Seung-Gil mentioned. He spoke softly to keep from startling Viktor further.  “Are you okay, did you know him personally?”

 

“Yuuri!?” Phichit’s panicked voice bounced off the walls as he pushed past Seung-Gil. Inches away from Viktor, who was now breathing harder when Yuuri first found him, Phichit tried to reach out to brush the silver hair, causing Viktor flinch involunterarily.

 

“Seriously, everyone, back up.” Yuuri worried Viktor was going into shock.But he also worried because his nose kept flaring and the swirl of lust swimming in his stomach was very tempting.

 

_ Ten year old me wouldn't be happy about my lack of control. _

 

Yuuri felt regret wash over him as he realized something Viktor had been hiding for his own reasons. 

 

_ Viktor is an omega. _

 

It's not fully surprising because he had a feeling the scent he smelled at the doctor’s office where he ran into Chris and Viktor was familiar to his nose. Thanks to the alcohol, Viktor had exposed his secret without his own consent.

 

_ God, why is he out here like this?  _

 

“He's in preheat, not fully in heat. I can't tell if he's just black out drunk or falling into a heat illness.” Yuuri leaned closer to Viktor to push his soft, damp hair back to check his temperature.

 

Phichit and his boyfriend stood outside the stall.  The slender Thai man could see the bruises and bleeding from his friend. “Yuuri, we should take you to the hospital,”Phichit mummers. 

 

Yuuri ignored his friend, coaxing Viktor to look him in his eyes. He could tell by the dilation of his pupils if it was heat illness or an intense upcoming heat. He reached out for Viktor’s hands but once he grazed over cold knuckles, Viktor clutched his stomach with both arms and buried his face deeper in his knees. 

 

“He threw up earlier, so that should have flushed out some of the alcohol.” Yuuri frowned noticing a dark red welt on his right side of his neck. “Sweetie,” Yuuri sat next to Viktor, who was sniffling as his whole body shook violently. “I need your phone to call Chris so we can get you home.”

 

When pheromones shot in the air that weren’t Yuuri's, he turned to Seung-Gil.

 

“I'm sorry,” the Korean man whispers, head down and both hands curled into a fist. The way he shuffled on his two feet showed how uncomfortable he is. “I'm really sorry but I can't stay here.” 

 

Phichit wore a pained expression at first then frowned when Seung-Gil refused for his boyfriend to take him home. Phichit knew it had to do with the omega in the room, it must have been a lot to take in for his boyfriend.

 

While the couple argued back and forth, Yuuri noticed an iPhone smashed in the corner across the stall. Grabbing it, he pressed the power button, but sighed at the black, shattered screen.

 

_ This isn't good.  _

 

“Viktor, your phone is busted, can you tell me your address?” Yuuri watched as Viktor erupted into a hysterical broken laugh, and from there he knew they were in trouble. Thinking of the situation he started to count the possibilities.  Phichit and his Alpha boyfriend live together, he doesn't know Chris’ contact information, and Viktor’s phone was busted.

 

Of all days, Yuuri's body wasn’t cooperating with him and god, god...of all days Viktor, someone of interest, is going into heat.

 

Yuuri couldn't leave him alone at this bar after what just happened but he couldn't let him crash at Chi’s place, knowing how Seung-Gil would react. 

 

Yuuri began to panic at the only choice he had left.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

It took twenty minutes to get Viktor into Phichit’s car. Seung-Gil took an uber home while Phichit helped drop Yuuri and Viktor off. 

 

Yuuri sat in the backseat to make sure Viktor didn't move too much to prevent him from vomiting. As the car rolled, Viktor leaned into him, giggling each time Yuuri had to gently push him away.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Yuuri?” Phichit asked, concerned. Yuuri nodded but when he caught Phichit’s eyes in the rear view mirror, he glanced away almost instantly. “Don't act like I haven't noticed. I'm not stupid. I really don't think this is a good idea.”

 

Yuuri knew it wasn’t a good idea, but it was the only idea they had.  “Like it or not, it's the only choice we have. I don't know where he lives and he's too drunk to tell me. Trust me, I can keep myself tame. I'm no animal.” 

 

Phichit sighed and shook his head, “It's not about you being an animal. Yuuri, it's about your instinct cutting in.” 

 

Yuuri glanced at Viktor who held the bottle of water Phichit had convinced him to take, but he refuse to drink, nodding off against the car door. Both back windows were rolled down slightly to air out the scent so it's not overbearing to Yuuri.

 

He mentally ran through how to keep himself in check once he got back to his apartment.  “I have scent blocking candles at home and plug ins. I'll let him sleep in my room and keep the door closed and I can crash on the couch, it's okay.”

 

The statement didn't make Phichit any less stressed about an Omega, borderline in heat, at Yuuri's small apartment he had just moved into last week. He didn’t doubt Yuuri’s intention, he was just concerned because Yuuri hadn’t been around an Omega in heat in years, not after his last relationship. They finally arrived at Yuuri’s apartment. Yuuri tried to tap Viktor awake but all he got was a grumpy groan in response. 

 

Yuuri walked to Viktor’s side of the car gingerly taking the man by his thin waist and helping him out of the car. Phichit helped him, making sure Viktor wasn’t dragging himself on the sidewalk. After they got the door to the building unlocked, Phichit told Yuuri to call him if anything happened.

 

Yuuri mumbled little encouraging phrases to Viktor as he placed him on the couch, righting him to sit up. Viktor was awake but still very out of it. 

 

“Makka!” Viktor cried out, eyes wandering around Yuuri’s messy apartment. Most of his things were still in boxes as he was not done unpacking. The only furniture he had so far were his couch and his bed, which sat on the box spring on the floor for the moment. Yuuri watched as Viktor’s eyes roamed the room, trying to piece together where he was.   _ He must be referring to his dog. _

 

“You’re at my apartment, Viktor. Makka is home safe.”  Yuuri spoke softly, and held Viktor’s hand, hoping to get the man to focus.

 

“Aaahh,” Viktor drags out, slumping against the couch. He was silent for awhile then chuckled. “ _ Ya prevratilsya v svoyego ottsa…”  _ Yuuri felt his heart jump at the change of dialect even if he didn’t know a pinch of Russian.

 

“Viktor, I need you to stay put okay?” Viktor nodded his head, sinking further in the couch. Yuuri tried to block off his nose and think of something other than what his mind has been screaming about since the bar.

 

Yuuri paced himself, quickly finding his box of plug in scent neutralizer, praying they had not expired since they hadn’t been used since he broke up with his ex boyfriend. Thankfully they were still good.

 

The apartment was small and bare, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a small kitchen. Yuuri didn’t want to over do it.  Scent blockers would drown out the Omega’s heat scent, but too many could make them sick at the false scents in the air.

 

After he set the last one up in his bedroom, he turned to grab the candles, but his path was blocked by Viktor hanging on to the door knob. 

 

“Vik-”

 

“Why are you doing that?” Viktor cuts him off, his blue eyes were nothing but a thin ring surrounded by his blown out pupils. He stands tall, walking closer to Yuuri. Yuuri knew better than to move.

 

Raising his hands he gently coaxed, “Viktor, please, go sit back down.” 

 

They stared at each other, Viktor swaying on his feet, hesitating if he should get closer. The taller man took in a sharp gasp and the wave of such a sweet scent, which is almost confusing, pools in the room.  Yuuri almost swayed under the effect of the other man’s pull.

 

“I’m in so much pain, Yuuri… I’ve been in so much pain these last few months.” his voice wavers with tears stuck in his throat. He inched closer and Yuuri felt himself tip forward. 

 

_ I know you have, I can take the pain away, Viktor. Let me take care of you… _

 

Yuuri snapped back, forcing himself to take several steps away from him. 

 

“Viktor, go sit on the couch,” Yuuri said sharply.

 

Viktor stared at the ground for a moment, then he snapped his head back up and quickly closed the distance to Yuuri leaving Yuuri frightened. The shorter man instantly backed away as far as he could only to have his back meet the dark brown wall.

 

The warmth of another body pressed heavily on his chest and cold hands cupped his jaw, leaving him gasping when he  _ felt  _ Viktor on him. 

 

“God,” Viktor moaned out, tilting Yuuri’s head so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “You’re even more gorgeous up close.”

 

_ Whatever you do, don’t move. It will trigger you. _

 

Yuuri could have sworn he stopped breathing but his heart was about to beat through his chest. Exhaling out his mouth the entire time brought Viktor’s attention to the effect he had on Yuuri. He leaned in the shorter man’s ear, hands sliding up to tangle in the black locks.

 

“Don’t you want to scent me, Yuuri?” Viktor’s voice was teasing but there is something off...something uneasy about his voice. The slender pale fingers moved out Yuuri’s hair and slowly to cover Yuuri’s mouth, trying to force him to breath out his nose and inhale Viktor’s delicious scent. “Isn’t that what you Alphas love about me?” Yuuri could hear the anger in his sentence.

 

Viktor came back into sight and while it was a quick glimpse, Yuuri saw under all the lust and want sparkling in his pupils, lay fear and regret. It didn’t stop Viktor’s actions. Viktor smiles darkly, taking his wrist to rub against Yuuri’s scent gland on his neck. Yuuri was begging in his head for Viktor to fall bored with this but Yuuri’s guard was crumbling with each passing minute.

 

Yuuri couldn’t hold his breath any longer and the wave of something he hadn't smelled in a long time mixed in the air and into his nose. Yuuri’s breathing picked up as Viktor continued to scent Yuuri. The hesitation was still there but Viktor’s action started to be a second thought when he push his groin against Yuuri where he rest heavy under the layers of clothing.

 

“Don’t you want me, Yuuri?” Viktor slurs, grinding harder against the man who was desperate to find his control and bearings. “Why can’t you be a typical Alpha and take me?”

 

Yuuri forced his mind to focus on control but he’s taken back by Viktor’s statement. Viktor’s hand then dips in front of Yuuri’s pants, tugging them loose. Yuuri grabs at Viktor’s wrist, snatching it away from his growing problem.

 

“Viktor listen to me.  Go sit back down, I am begging you.” Yuuri raised his voice, demanding, trying his damnest not to use the hostile tone he hates the most but Viktor only pushes Yuuri into the wall more, lips inches away from his to feel the breath of his drunken giggle _. _

 

Viktor finally backs away but only to reach the button of his own pants and Yuuri grabs both his wrist this time, his fingernails unconsciously digging in white, pale skin.  Viktor whines in pain and Yuuri pulls his hands away at his reaction, rubbing his face as he tries to compose himself.

 

With Yuuri's eyes off of Viktor, a moan is snatched from his throat when he felt his clothed erection being caressed by slender fingers.  All it took was the small, sweet whisper, “Fuck me” over and over again, getting desperate with each breath.

 

And it was gone. Every ounce of brutal control was gone. 

 

In a heartbeat, Yuuri shoved Viktor before yanking him off this feet to throw him on the bed.  Before Viktor's body could even bounce with the springs, Yuuri was yanking the silver haired man into his lap, pressing their groins together. And god, Yuuri got to feel how pent up the older man was even through the layers of clothing, the warmth he want to feel with the palm of his hand.

 

The warmth he  _ needed _ to have in his mouth. 

 

His head wasn't clear and all he could think was how intoxicating Viktor's natural scent was.

 

So raw in the peak of his heat, it was almost addicting. 

 

_ Sweet, so so sweet. _

 

Rolling over he lowered Viktor’s back to the mattress and Yuuri felt fingernails dig in his forearms.  With one hand he pinned the arms above the man’s head lying under him.

 

Looking down, he couldn't help but moan at sight of Viktor's shirt riding up, exposing pale skin stretching over sharp hip bones and Yuuri's hips moved on their own. 

 

_ Yuuri, stop.  _

 

A shaky gasp escapes from the silver haired man and Yuuri could feel the other’s body shaking. 

 

“Please…” Viktor cries out, eyes wide.  That’s when Yuuri noticed Viktor was crying and his plead had two tones in it.

 

The man beneath him was both begging for Yuuri to continue and, in complete terror, pleading him not to go any further.

 

Yuuri came back to himself and the instant hatred for himself washed over him, killing his lust.

 

“Viktor, no.” Yuuri said gently, slowly as he tried to stop panting so hard. It only made Viktor cry harder, trying to push his hips up for some kind of friction. Yuuri pinned Viktor's arms deeper into the mattress, and bows his head closer to Viktor.

 

Viktor flinched when Yuuri gently place their foreheads together.

 

“God,” Viktor chokes on thick tears breathing harshly. Eyes wide and searching for some kind of answer in Yuuri eyes. “It hurts, please Yuuri please. I hate this.” Yuuri felt cold, trembling hands cup his cheeks and their eyes meet for the last time that night. In return, Yuuri placed his cool hands on Viktor's overheated cheeks, thumbing away the tears that still flowed freely down his face.

 

Yuuri ignored his pleas and started to focus on something he has done with his students.

 

Yuuri released calming pheromones. Trying his best to destress Viktor and ease some of the pain he must be feeling. Yuuri didn’t know how long they stayed like that, foreheads pressed together, stroking Viktor's cheeks, breathing slowly and hoping Viktor would copy his pattern.

 

Yuuri saw Viktor began drifting, trying to fight it but his body was finally shutting down into sleep. He was drunk, at the peak of a heat, and probably still drained from the bar situation. 

 

Some Omega’s heats are passed off in their sleep depending how exhausted they are.  Yuuri hoped that was true for Viktor.

 

He stayed like that until Viktor’s body stopped shaking drifted into sleep. He gently placed Viktor on the bed fully, grabbing a blanket from his closet. Before he placed the blanket over Viktor he stood back and tried to get a better sight of him.

 

The silver hair was a mess, cut jagged and short, exposing a new scar on his scent gland to match the older one. He noticed the deep groove of a few cuts on his hips that were still poking out. Yuuri leaned over to pull his shirt down, then placed the blanket over him. 

 

Yuuri went to get a plastic bowl and a bottle of water, placing them next the bed before shutting the door to head to the living room.

 

He sat there in the complete silence, staring at the ceiling fan…

 

Yuuri caught himself not being able to catch his breath, his mind screamed at him and his body jolted every minute.

 

And in the first time in years, Yuuri started to cry.  He was disgusted with himself and his cursed second gender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM FREE FROM SCHOOL AND I HAVE UNTIL AUGUST BEFORE I FINISH MY LAST TWO SEMESTERS! 
> 
> I keep apologizing for not posting chapters sooner than what I promise but things keep popping up. My last few weeks of the semester was hell, complete hell, but I finished strong with all A's and one B! I hope this doesn't come off rude but I'll post when I can. I don't have a schedule set and with me working damn near everyday, I don't want to promise yall a chapter each time I post. I hope you all can understand that.
> 
> I cannot thank you all enough for staying with me and still reading this story. Im very grateful! I'll see you all when I can~ Stay well~


	10. Four-Leaf Clover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see how Viktor's past relationship has hurt him and how Chris was quick to shut that shit down quick. Viktor has been crying since chapter one. I'm so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!!!!  
> !!! THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN NON-CONSENT/ATTEMPT OF RAPE!!!  
> My tags said only chapter two would have it but I completely forgot I had to bring in Viktor's ex. It's not too detailed but keep reading and if you become uncomfortable even in the beginning, CTRL F and type (Viktor wasn’t sure how long) to skip it. 
> 
> This chapter was rough on me, I cried typing this and BluSkates' edits brought it more to life and basically stabbed my heart out. This is the last flashback driven chapter! After ten long chapters, we get to see the build of Yuuri's and Viktor's relationship... Remember, it's slow build and it's killing me too but work with me!
> 
> Thank you for those who still comes back and take the time to read my fic~
> 
> I hope yall enjoy, I am grateful. Stay golden~

_ “Relax for me,” Alec cooed, but the tone was insincere. _

 

_ Viktor's body tensed up even more in response. _

 

_ Viktor didn't really know how he had end up in this situation. _

 

_ He didn’t understand how he managed to get coaxed and then dragged into his “boyfriend’s” bedroom at 8 in the evening when he should be studying for his next exam. He couldn’t remember how he managed to let his back hit the Tide scented comforter or when two hands began sliding up and down the outside of his bare thighs that were pressed tightly together. _

 

_ The touch made his breathing quicken, not in a pleasurable way.  His body shook, and the saliva in his mouth turned thick when he picked up Alec's scent. Strong, choking pheromones, which Victor still isn't comfortable with burst around him, churning his stomach. _

 

_ Alec wasn't an omega or beta; Alec was an Alpha male and the smell of his desire and lust left Viktor with little confusion of what the alpha wanted from him. Under the unwelcomed hands which were trying to pry apart his legs, Viktor felt he couldn't say no.  He was far too aware of what the other in the dimly lit room is capable of doing. _

 

_ Viktor had fooled himself, believing the delusion that he was was over the horrific trauma he suffered from his father when he was younger. He wanted to move on now, to be able to open up and accept affection from another. He forced himself, thinking he wouldn't fully know if he was over it until he stepped over the line he made for himself years ago. He rationalized that this was like dipping his big toe in the pool; maybe he would flinch but slowly he could emerge his entire body. Eventually, he would just get used to it, right? _

 

_ Viktor took the same approach to having sex with Alec. _

 

_ He didn't tell his boyfriend anything about his past.  They had been together for seven months, maybe he should have, but why would he? To watch Alec run? He would look at Viktor, disgusted, and leave.  He would see him as the broken omega that he was and turn his back on him. Viktor knew he wasn’t worth waiting for. Nobody waits, nobody is understanding nowadays. He had told Alec his limits and what he did and didn't like when it came to intimacy. A lot was marked off but so far Alec had respected his boundaries. _

 

_ Until now…  Currently what he marked off was being rewritten on a new list as his entire body sank into his partner's bed. _

 

_ It started in the kitchen, Alec had just gotten off work. They traded a peck on the lips, quick and easy, but something in Viktor broke and a peck wasn't enough.  They kissed deeper, Viktor moaning into Alec’s mouth as the tongue massaged his, it was a new level they hadn’t done before. Viktor was timid at first, but as Alec’s hands warmed on his back he felt his body relax into the kisses.  Coaching himself, Viktor felt confident, this he could manage, this he could share. Alec grew hungrier, his mouth pressing into Viktor’s swelling lips, and the silver haired man took a brave step, directing the Alpha’s head, keeping the man in check with whisper 'Don’t kiss there.’, ‘Don’t touch there’.  All moves designed to avoid the scent gland on the Alpha’s neck. _

 

_ As Viktor sighed with the feeling of Alec’s hand carding into his hair he felt himself start to stiffen.  An annoying voice in his head telling him he was being greedy and pushing himself too hard. _

 

_ Alec used the kissing as an invitation to move forward without talking about it, moving them into the bedroom and resting Viktor's body on the soft bed they had never shared before.  The warning voice of doubt turned to sheer panic as his body went stiff under the ministrations of his boyfriend. He whimpered small words, barely above whispers, asking to slow down, to stop. _

 

_ At 25, Alec is a year older than Viktor.  His pitch black hair fell to his bare shoulders. The incredibly handsome man’s looks were perfected by two eyes as green as spring grass and a body built like the perfect alpha. _

 

_ The bed dipped and Viktor let out a startled gasp, Alec gave a husky chuckle. _

 

_ “It's just me, hun.” Alec hums to himself as his fingers slid from Viktor’s thighs to grab the bottom of his shirt. Viktor was desperate to push the hands away, but he didn't dare to reach out to stop them. Alec watched the Omega’s response, trying to read Viktor’s body, and he saw the reticence, assuming the man was shy. “Want me to turn off the lights?” _

 

_ Viktor’s blue eyes were wide, but he couldn’t say anything.  Frozen in fear he turned his head away to face the wall. _

 

_ His panic was rising, from deep within a voice was repeating, ‘Why am I here? Why am I doing this?’ _

 

_ Viktor knew he wasn’t in love with Alec but he did really liked the man. It was sincere, and he had wanted it to become something much more.  Alec was understanding and took baby steps with Viktor the entire time to help him get comfortable. Alec could tell there were secrets Viktor couldn’t share yet but he waited and never asked him to rush it. _

 

_ “Viktor, you have to communicate with me, hun.” Alec pouted, grabbing Viktor’s chin to meet his eyes.‘ _

 

_ Viktor struggled to steady his breathing, forcing out the words, “You can keep going, just… slow?” _

 

_ “Move slow?” Alec hums, stroking Viktor’s tense jaw. _

 

_ Viktor searched Alec’s face, his boyfriend was a little put out, but there was nothing to suggest he was upset.  Nodding he said, “Just be slow with me.” _

 

_ “Okay,” Alec said, shifting on his knees and pulling Viktor onto his lower half on his lap. “No prentration?” _

 

_ Viktor flinched at the word, feeling his stomach clutch at the thought of it. He shook his head, rejecting the idea. Viktor thought he heard Alec sigh in annoyance but the man quickly arranged their bodies to place Viktor completely underneath him. Having a body, an Alpha, over an Omega during intimacy is suppose to feel warm, safe. The Omega normally feels protected by their Alpha, and with the attention of the Alpha on the Omega to ensure comfort and pleasure. But Viktor only felt cold, as if he was in the shadows. The spring-green eyes appeared to turn murky and the curve of the smile wasn’t sweet or comforting and Viktor asked himself again…. _

 

_ ‘Why am I here? Why am I doing this?’ _

 

_ The whole progress was awkward.  Viktor couldn’t getting erect fast enough, even with Alec showering him with caresses and kisses.  Alec began to grow frustrated, and demanded he be more vocal. _

 

_ Viktor hated his voice… and he wasn’t sure how to exactly get himself in the mood. He’d never been sexual, and he had never been intimate with anyone. He tried to suck it up and learn with each second with his boyfriend but he always froze up when things became intimate. _

 

_ Alec grew tired of waiting for Viktor’s arousal, grabbing the younger man’s pajama pants, pulling them and his boxers down his hips.  The move was too sudden and Viktor freaked. With wide eyes, he grabbed his pants to pull them back over his bare hips, but Alec yanked even harder to pull them down. _

 

_ “Wait…” Viktor wanted to scream it but it was barely audible, his fear that he was in the hands of an Alpha left him stuck. _

 

_ Alec froze any words with a glare from those green eyes, which now looked very dark.  “Come on Viktor,” Alec growls, finally yanking the pants and boxers free of Vikor’s bottom half, discarding them to the floor.  Viktor now lay before the hungry Alpha, completely naked. Rough hands roamed between his thighs, trying to pull them apart. “You owe me.” _

 

_ No… _

 

_ Viktor laughed nervously, trying to sit up. “Alec, we should stop.” He hoped if he kept his voice light his boyfriend would follow, laugh it off and stop. _

 

_ Alec didn’t listen.  He shoved Viktor back into the bed used his fingers to explore Viktor’s exposed entrance.  Viktor clenched, his breathing picked up twice as fast. He was internally screaming at himself to fight back but he was scared, so scared of what the Alpha may do if he fought against him. So he lay there, paralyzed, as he felt two fingers breach him. _

 

_ Viktor’s mind was buzzing, his eyesight was blurry, his body violently shaking, and he felt his cheeks getting wet. _

 

_ Nonononono, this can’t be happening to me again. _

 

_ The pushing and pulling of fingers burned, leaving him nauseated. It was disgusting, and that voice which had cheered him on, to push himself to the next step of recovery, was screaming that he no longer wanted this. Someone was in him again and he had never wanted to die so badly in his life. The creaking of the bed made Viktor’s body automatically locked up. Viktor’s ears closed off all sound, his sight was dark but his voice was getting louder and louder until a hand clamped over his mouth. _

 

_ “Stop screaming before the cops come!”  Blinking his eyes open Viktor saw Alec’s face, dark in frustrated desire.  He nodded and Alec moved his hand from Viktor’s face, leaving a red mark where he had pressed savagely. _

 

_ “I don’t want it….” Viktor’s broken voice whispered out. Through his fear Viktor took a bold move, lashing out at the man towering over him on the bed.  He started to swing and hit Alec on the shoulder, repeating his words louder each time. _

 

_ “I don’t want it. I don’t want it. I don’t want it. I don’t want it!” _

 

_ Viktor wasn’t sure how long he had fought, or shouted his demand.  It felt like it was running on forever. Then the searing pain of a sting on his cheek and burning lines on his arms. His mind cleared after that and he found himself in the corner of the bed near the wall, locking his knees to his chest to protect himself if Alec decided to hurt him any further. _

 

_ “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Alec roared, standing up from the bed, distancing himself. Viktor saw the red scratches painted up Alec’s arms, realizing he had done that in the panic of defense. He had never touched Alec or anyone like that before. He has never heard his Alpha get so angry towards him either and Alec never yelled at him like this nor got so pushy in any form. _

 

_ Viktor shook his head, pulling his hair out his face, trying to look at Alec but was terrified to make eye contact. “I don’t know,” was all Viktor got out, trying to already deny what just happened. His heart was tight and Viktor couldn’t breathe. _

 

_ “You know what Viktor, I’m tired.”  Alec pulled himself up, his face took on a smirk.  “I’m sick and tired waiting on you. You’re a stuck up little Omega who’s think he’s too good for anyone!” _

 

_ “Alec...” Viktor reached out for his boyfriend, hoping the man would calm down and see that he was having one of the worst panic attacks in his life but Alec only kept raising his voice. _

 

_ “You’re a tease,” Alec slapped Viktor’s hand away.  Seeing the Omega curl up hurt, Alec’s nastier side took over.  He called Viktor everything in the book, Viktor sobbed silently listening to the damning tirade.  But the last words he heard leave Alec’s mouth were, “We’re done. Pack your shit and leave.” _

 

_ Viktor gasped, looking up, “Alec?!” He watched as Alec stormed around the room, collecting Viktor’s belongings. Throwing clothing, books, and a cellphone onto the bed, next to Viktor’s quaking body. Viktor felt his lips move but each word shook and was stuttered out nonsense. _

 

_ “I don’t think you understand, Viktor.” Alec reached over, pulling him out the bed and letting the shaking man fall hard on the wooden floor. Alec shook his head in disgust as Viktor struggled to sit up on the floor, cradling his wrist that had broken the fall.  Viktor watched as his boyfriend took the few belongings he had brought with him to the door and open it. Alec waited a few minutes, returned to the bedroom to see Viktor still sitting in shock.  _

 

_ Alec blew a frustrated breath through his lips.  He stalked back to the kitchen table by the door, and quickly returned with Viktor’s car keys.  Jingling them by Viktor’s ear he dropped them on the floor by Viktor, unconcerned for the state the Omega was in. _

 

_ The dark face hovered closer to Viktor, the heat of the man’s breath warm on his cheek as Alec finally said, “If you’re not out of here by the time I come back, I swear, I won’t hesitate to just take what I want.” With that and the slam of the bedroom door, Viktor broke into hysterical sobs like he did the nights his father left him in that disgusting basement years ago. He felt like it took decades to move but Alec’s threat repeated in his head and he knew he had to get out. He wanted to go home to his dog and the safety he found there. _

 

_ Standing to pull on his underwear and pants, he muttered to himself to calm down, only to cry harder. He walked out the front door to see all his things sprawled out throughout the yard. Hurriedly, he grabbed his belongings and threw them in the backseat. _

 

_ Once in the driver’s seat he broke, slamming his steering wheel with his fist and he held in a painful yell at the pit of his stomach. _

 

_ Then he just stopped… _

 

_ Viktor’s bleary eyes looked to the rearview mirror.  He adjusted it to look at himself. Red rimmed eyes looked back at him.  Did he really think he was going to find love? Did he really think he was going to move on that easily? Just move on and forget just like that? _

 

_ Viktor noticed the house across from him, the porch light turned on. A short, black woman opened her front door, he could see she was on the phone and glancing over at his car. _

 

_ He needed to go, to leave. Leave and never come back. _

 

_ ~~~~~~~ _

 

_ Viktor kept quiet, something he’d been used to since he was younger. _

 

_ He was used to keeping his mouth shut, faking a smile as if things were fine. He was able to keep his facade, until Chris noticed how stiff Viktor became when he asked about Alec. They were driving home from a lecture that didn’t let out until late.  Chris could see the rubbed-raw skin, noticed Viktor’s disease; once in his car Chris knew Viktor couldn’t dodge the question.  _

 

_ It had started off as a flirty tease, like it always had with Chris.  But when Viktor remained silent Chris’ flirtatious curiosity turned to concern. It wasn’t until fifth time Chris picked up the scent in the small car, feeling how tense the air was. _

 

_ “I….I’m praying…” Chris hiss, gripping the steering wheel. “Viktor...I swear to god.” Chris was trying to fish for his words and Viktor knew, he knew Chris had finally puzzled everything together. _

 

_ Old habits told him to stay silent but he then gasped at the sudden halt of the car. They were nowhere near his place, nor were they at a red light, but dead center of an empty parking lot. The lights in the lot lit the interior of the car. Viktor kept his eyes locked on his lap, refusing to look at this guy who was just becoming his one and only best friends. When he heard the shaky exhale and shift in the other man seat, he force himself to clamp his eyes shut. _

 

_ “Viktor,” Viktor kept his mouth shut but the pain in his chest couldn’t be ignored at how hurt Chris sounded. “Please tell me he didn’t….” _

 

_ Viktor felt his body start to rock in his own seat as he felt the ghost of Alec’s hands touch him.  His subconscious mind took over, reaching into his childhood for guidance on how to stay safe. _

 

_ Lie. _

 

_ “We...got into a small argument-” _

 

_ “Bullshit.” _

 

_ Viktor snapped his head over to look at Chris.  Never had he thought he would see anyone other than his own mother act so protective of him and automatically, he felt the need to reject for help. “Chris, don’t do this.” _

 

_“No, don’t_ ** _you_** _do this! Did he or did he not fucking touch you without your consent!?” Chris wore the exact expression of his mother but Viktor couldn’t understand why, why someone he’d been friends with for barely two years would care for him so much._

 

_ Viktor shrugged, “Why does it matter if he did or not, Chris?” _

 

_ “Why does it matter?” Chris scoffs a disgusted laugh, then he saw Viktor’s face.  Chris took in a deep breath, calming himself and beginning again in a softer tone. “After being with you for a year, you’ve been the sweetest friend I’ve ever had.”  He saw tears glaze in Viktor’s eyes and something inside Chris snapped. He couldn’t contain the rage he felt at this piece of shit that would hurt someone as gentle as Viktor. Chris’ voice grew as he spoke, “If someone touched or took advantage of my best fucking friend, then that person needs their ass beat! So did he or did he not?” _

 

_ Viktor didn’t say anything.  He was busy trying to process what Chris had said.  He knew he loved Chris dearly as a friend, but he never held himself high enough to assume that Chris felt such a friendship for him back.  He couldn’t believe his ears when he heard Chris calling him his best friend. But he was pulled from his thoughts as the engine roared and the car pulled into reverse. _

 

_ “What are you doing?” Viktor begin to panic when he saw Chris pull up Google maps.  And when he heard his phone read of the starting route to Alec’s house, Viktor tried to snatch the phone from Chris only to fail when he holds it higher. _

 

_ “Christophe don’t! He’s an-” _

 

_ “Alpha?”  Chris spared Viktor a look before turning back to the road, his voice was steely in his determination. “Oh honey, secondary gender is not scary to me.” _

 

_ Chris started to pull out the parking lot when Viktor finally broke. _

 

_ “He touched me, okay!? But it’s my fault.”  Viktor started shouting in the car, his breathing was erratic, the words tumbled out. “I kissed him first, I lead him on. I wanted it, but then I didn’t anymore.  I let him touch me but then I got scared. It was my fault!” _

 

_ Chris slowly pulled the car over, put it into park and turned the engine off before he turned to Viktor. The Swiss man was the pain in his friend’s face, the tears streaming down his face, the heaving of his thin chest and knew that Viktor needed soothing.  “It’s not your fault.” _

 

_ Viktor gulped in air between sobs, “But it was! It is!  Do you not understand!? I said ‘no’ to an Alpha. I said ‘no’ to having sex with an Alpha. I made him want it, want me, but I just couldn’t do it.  I failed my purpose of being an Omega...but I was so scared, Chris.” Viktor’s voice was breaking, he was losing himself in this quickly. _

 

_ Chris saw the dismay, the hurt.  He reached out to touch Viktor, to put soft, loving hands on his shoulders, but when the other Omega flinched he knew to give him space.  “Viktor, your purpose as an Omega is not to be a sex toy for anyone, you understand me? You’re an Omega, there’s no purpose to this, it’s just something that you are.  You can carry children someday, if you choose, but that’s IF, not when. You can give immense pleasure to an Alpha if you choose, but that’s only IF YOU CHOOSE. It’s something to be shared, not given and certainly not taken.”  He saw the other Omega listening to his words, the part about children had hit Viktor hard and Chris wanted to ask, but feared pushing Viktor too far. “Viktor, love, Omega or not, no means no.” _

 

_ Viktor was still shaking, his eyes were drifting outside the windshield, focusing on nothing, his voice was distant. “I’m an Omega. I’m suppose to say yes or take it.”  It was clear to Chris that the man was clearly stuck in a memory, older than only a few weeks back. _

 

_ Chris tried to reach him again, his voice stronger, “That’s rape and I’m not about to have some man ride the high tide of being an Alpha thinking he can just do what he wants.” _

 

_ “Chris please!”  Viktor exploded, hurt eyes darting at Chris, then flicking back to the dashboard, “just leave it alone, okay?” Viktor’s voice demanded the finality of their back and forth argument.  The silver head turned to face out the darkened the window, his eyes closing to avoid the reflection of Chris’ pained expression. _

 

_ In the driver’s seat Chris turned off his phone, sighing as he pulled back into traffic and made his way to Viktor’s house.  He shed a few soft tears as the Russian man exited the car without a word and walked away without a look back. _

 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~ _

 

_ The next day Viktor’s phone kept vibrating and chiming every ten minutes, it continued that way for the better part of a week. He knew who it is, he doesn’t know why he hasn’t deleted his number. Was he thinking he could fix things with Alec? _

 

_ Since that night with Alec, it has been endless calls and text of the Alpha saying he was sorry or to come back home to him.  Viktor really felt like the man was sorry for what he’s done, but he knew that he would never be able to give Alec what he wanted. He sent a few texts back, saying how this was better, Alec would find someone better.  But Alec would only respond with sweet compliments and begging messages. Until finally the messages began to slowly change in tone. Apologies mixed with accusations, then demands that Viktor return with threats of not calling again...only to call again.  Once the tone change it quickly became more aggressive, insulting, to the point Viktor just stopped replying. _

 

_ Then everything fell down hill when Luis asked Viktor about Chris. Chris’ fiancé, Luis, was an Alpha, Viktor had been horrified, and then only cautious around him.  However, after months of watching the two and seeing how sweet the man treated Chris and how affectionate and natural Chris was around Luis Viktor slowly relaxed in his presence.  But it was odd to see him on campus, looking for Chris. _

 

_ It was rare for Chris to miss a class, and Luis said how Chris’ scent has been off since last night.  _

 

_ “Viktor, he told me about your fight with Alec,” Luis watched Viktor’s cheeks burn with embarrassment, “I’m sorry to bring it up, and I’m not trying to pry, but Chris was really upset...I think he is planning to confront Alec.” _

 

_ The two piled raced to Luis’ car and sped across town to Alec’s apartment only to see the scene already played out. As they pulled up at Alec’s house, red and blue lights flashed from three police cars. _

 

_ There on the porch sat Chris with a dried up bloody nose and his hands cuffed behind his back. _

 

_ Luis jumped out the car at lightning speed towards the house as Viktor slowly got out to let the situation sink in.  He saw a stretcher pulled out the ambulance, obviously not for Chris as they passed him to go in the house. Viktor walked slowly over to Chris who was calmly trying to explain to his fiance, Luis was yelling, not in rage but worry, at the Swiss man and tenderly wiping the blood from his nose. _

 

_ Chris was Viktor approach, “I’m sorry Viktor...But I couldn’t let that bastard hurt you and get away with it.” Chris groaned and started to speak French to his fiancé with a hurt expression. Viktor picked up a few words and in summary he was saying he was sorry for worrying him.  Luis’ French was more rapid and Viktor understood very little, but could tell by the look in the Alpha’s eyes that he was worried, scared, hurt, but not angry. Never angry. _

 

_ Viktor just stood there, not understanding why someone who wasn’t his mother would do something so risky for him. _

 

_ “Why?” Viktor asked. _

 

_ Chris tilts his head with a wet eyes and quivering lips. “As your best friend, it’s my job.” _

 

_ “This is going to get you in so much trouble…” Luis sighs, standing up when a few cops come forward with their questions. _

 

_ Viktor saw them bring out Alec on the stretcher, the Alpha had a battered face and bruises across his shirtless body. With shaky arms, he reached out for Viktor who backed away. Viktor saw the desperation in Alec’s face, like he was crying for help. He glanced back at Chris who wore a smug expression as the cops started to question him. _

 

_ “Worth it…” Chris said in the happiest tone. _

 

_ ~~~~~ _

 

Hot.

 

Viktor body was sweltering and he felt every pore release sweat in a futile attempt to cool his body.

 

He woke groaning at the intense churning of his stomach, bile mixing and needing to release all the toxins he has swallowed in the past few days.

 

His body was in such torment that he couldn’t think about where he was or if he were in danger, all he knew was that he was going to vomit then enter another wave of his heat. His nose picked up millions of scents, all too confusing for him to understand, which only made his dizzier.

 

The room spun as he sat up. He slowly took in small parts of his surroundings.  This bed wasn’t his nor was it Chris’. This room wasn’t anything familiar to Viktor. He noticed the plastic bowl at the foot of the bed. Grabbing it and holding it between his legs he hung his head and emptied his stomach.  As soon as it started it refused to stop, his body rejected everything he’d been doing to it for these last few weeks.

 

Poor meals he’s eaten and the endless bottles of alcohol all trying to drown himself out his darkest hours.

 

He thought back over the past few weeks.  Chris was out of town and with his birthday around the corner Viktor knew his heat was going to start soon. With his mind wandering back and forth from his father to his ex Viktor couldn’t concentrate, he called out from school, putting in for medical leave.  He suffered panic attacks that shook him in the middle of the night. Viktor lost count how many times he thought for the worst. He lost count how many times he found himself on his knees, praying his last breath to be snatched from him in his sleep.

 

Then a few days before his birthday he hit a low in his depression, soaking it and then drowning it in alcohol. His depression, fear, and alcohol mixed to create the worst idea he would ever have.  Knowing his body would need the release an Alpha could provide, Viktor thought he could get drunk enough outside of the comfort of his home to get a one night mate. He knew he couldn’t take another intense wave of his upcoming heat alone. With the push of alcohol he thought that maybe if he got blackout drunk he could let someone have their way with him and at least relieving the pain from his heat would be worth it. He thought he could let anyone have him and he would wake up not remembering anything.

 

He didn’t care anymore.

 

Why be so protective of himself?  People would just use him, like his father did, like Alec tried to. Eventually his birth control would leak his natural scent and everyone would want to dance with Viktor under the sheets.

 

He didn’t care anymore.

 

Chris went out of town to see his mother and told Viktor not to do anything stupid. He would be back before his birthday, but Viktor got himself in trouble.

 

Now he was in an unfamiliar apartment. He couldn’t remember anything of the night before;, his nose couldn’t pick up if he was in the presence of an Alpha or Omega, but he felt his heart race as he knew the answer.

 

Every inch of his body ached but not in the way of thought it would feel.  His bones aches but there no burning sensation in his lower region. Viktor quickly clapped a hand over his neck to check for a bond mark but then lifting the thick blanket to find himself still clothed.

 

The motion of the blanket knocked a bottle of water off the bed onto the wooden floor. The bottle rolled its way to an outlet where a scent blocker is plugged in.  He stares at the outlet, trying to understand the situation he got in last night but everything was still fuzzy.

 

Viktor’s attention was pulled to the door.  Hearing footsteps come down the hall, his instincts told him to ball up in the corner of the bed, another part of him told him to act asleep, but it was too late for either as the wooden door across from him slowly opened.

 

He wasn’t sure who it was but the air cleared almost instantly.  His nose picked up a strong wave of Alpha pheromones flooding into the room. Normally Viktor would have been horrified by the scent, but this was the most confusing thing Viktor has ever smelt in his entire life. All the scents he had picked up from different Alpha’s had always made him fearful and distrusting, however this one wasn’t nauseating like the others, it was calming. He knew it was an Alpha but something was so off and it wasn’t the scent blocker in the room, it was the Alpha himself. Viktor wavered for a moment, his eyes lidding heavily as he breathed in the scent, his mouth salivating, then his mind snapping back, alerting him.  He darted out the bed and into the furthest corner, the blanket clutched to his chest.

 

“Don’t come in here!” Viktor screamed in full panic. He wasn’t drunk like last night, he was very conscious of what was happening. Viktor had thought everything, out except the outcome of the next morning. Realization hits him that he has made a terrible mistake and his mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of this place without seeing the person who took him in.

 

The door doesn’t open further, in fact it freezes at his command. Viktor’s ears strain to hear anything but the only sound they pick up are those of him breathing and the rush of the pulse of his heart.

 

He looked over to see a window slightly open and Viktor noted it as a possible escape routes. He thought about calling Chris but he counted out the possibilities Chris would handle this situation without killing this man on the other side of the door.

 

_ Think, Viktor. Think. _

 

Viktor squeezed his eyes shut until his head begun to hurt again.

 

Memories of last night begun to flood Viktor’s head.

 

He remembered calmly walking to a bar not so far from his own home, already tipsy from the shots he threw back before leaving. He remembered running into one of the teachers he always passed in the hall...what was that name? The man talking and talking, and Viktor desperately taking each shot and drink the other man offered him.

 

Viktor then remembered the man helping him to the restroom.  The man had big hands, not long like Viktor’s own but meaty. They were on him as they walked to the restroom.  Then there were more hands...

 

Alpha men touching him.

 

_ No. _

 

Him being pinned into the stall of the restroom.

 

_ No. _

 

A raven haired man attacking the man who was just choking him against the stall to stay quiet.

 

_ Raven hair? _

 

Everything became blurry again but a rush of calm caused him to drop back on the bed. He felt like he was able to finally breathe properly. Out all the things that were unfamiliar to him, the calming air was overwhelmingly familiar.

 

Viktor touched his forehead, feeling the warmth of another.

 

_ “Viktor, no..” _

 

The voice ghosted in his head as he rubbed his temple then looked at the door across from him, still feeling the presence of another. It was still the Alpha who obeyed Viktor’s request not to open the door further.

 

It was an Alpha and Viktor didn’t understand why they were obeying Viktor as if he were the dominant one.

 

_ Why aren’t you in here, taking what you want from me? _

 

Something in Viktor knew who it was. Someone who has been concern for his well-being from the first day he has met him. As much as it angered him for a complete stranger to be so worried about his existence. He had never in his life once thought he would meet an Alpha who would treat him like a human and not his secondary gender.

 

_ “It hurts, please…. please. I hate this.” _

 

Viktor sobbed dry tears as he buried his head into his hands. With the little energy he had left in him, he called for him…

 

“Yuuri?”

 

The silence was painful but after five heartbeats, he heard a reply.

 

A reply he never thought would make him feel so safe and secure in his 28 years of living.

 

“I’m here, Viktor. I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking how some may think I bring up the situation with Viktor's dad a lot but I wanted to address that rape in general, in real life, is serious. It's not something everyone can wake up and be fine the next day. It sticks and some people aren't long term affected. 
> 
> Yuuri will soon be able to protecc and love Vitya, body and soul...That is, if Chris doesn't kill him after this. Oh booi. A storm aint coming, but the thunder is rolling! 
> 
> Please leave kudos! Comments your thoughts on the chapter or tell me what you're looking forward to in my fic?


	11. A New Found Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor thought everything out, everything but the next morning when he's sober. Yuuri tires to reach out to help as much as he can and Viktor finally realizes how wrong he was about Katsuki the entire time. 
> 
> Oh, and Surprise surprise, Chris came back to town just in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll wanted more Viktor and Yuuri interaction...Here you go. 
> 
> Buckle up.

“I’m here Viktor, I’m here…”

 

Viktor heard the soft voice call from the other side of the door. It cracked open just slightly, not enough to let in light from the hall, but enough for Viktor to worry.  His blood ran hot through his veins as he sunk into the bed more. The air of the room clouded and felt nebulous. His lids grew heavier as the painful knots wound tighter in his stomach and tiny little pricks needled his skin. Viktor curled onto to the bed, his heart beat drummed in his ears and his skin was searing hot and he knew he was falling into a heat wave but somewhere in the back of his mind Viktor didn’t feel uncomfortable. The fear, the absolute horror of what Viktor’s body was doing and how unsafe he was in a strange place wasn’t so loud, something was grounding Viktor pulling at him to relax.  His body was on fire, but the pain, the terror were gone and replaced with only desire. What he felt that moment was nothing compared to the harsh, painful, and horrifying heat waves he felt over his years as an Omega.

 

From the door the voice worked through the tiny crack, “Can I come in?”

 

“No,” Viktor snapped back. The voice was soft, asking kindly for permission, there was nothing aggressive or domineering in it, but Viktor wasn’t ready to let this man in.  His mind debated accepting the soothing air surrounding him or rejecting it as a coy trick to seduce him.

 

In his agony, Viktor’s mind started to free itself from the cloud the heat created.   _ Yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki? An Alpha male? _

 

Viktor thinks to the school, the few times he interacted with Yuuri there... he can’t recall picking up the strong or forceful smell of alpha on the other the man.  It was never in the classroom they shared, nor on in person. Blushing, Viktor chastised himself for being so rude to invade another’s privacy to assume their secondary gender.  He would have been mortified to think that others were scenting him to find out his status.

 

Viktor dug his nails into the mattress, groaning at the rolls of uninvited pleasure that sent him quaking. His mind screamed at him as a warning of the presence of an unpredictable Alpha, but part of silver haired man was falling prey.  He could feel part of his body screaming just as loud to give in, invite the man in...

 

“Stop!” Viktor shouts to the door.  Then, to his horror, a shaky moan of ecstasy slipped out his lips. He wrapped his body around the thick comforter and hid from god knows what, he was still alone in the room.  The alpha at the door respecting his commands and waiting outside to room. If Viktor could reason he would notice the calming air lifting.

 

From behind the door he heard a sigh, not of frustration but sincere empathy, “Viktor, you’re going into heat, I need to keep the air calm so you’re not in too much pain.”

 

Unable to accept that he was finally in the presence of an Alpha that would respect him, and protect him, Viktor’s stubborn and paranoid mind told him different. “You’re trying to seduce me…” Viktor hissed through clenched teeth. The air surrounding him felt like bricks on his lungs and he couldn’t breathe again. The needle like pain in his stomach went to something completely different, worse. Viktor couldn’t help but whine and hiss at the tearing of his stomach. 

 

“Viktor please,” the gentle voice carried him to a memory of Yuuri coaching him to breathe in the restroom stall. “It’s safer if I keep the air in check so neither us are affected, okay?” 

 

Viktor didn’t respond but burrowed into the bed deeper, hiding under the blanket. Inhaling the scent of Yuuri soaked in the cotton, he moaned softly. Viktor wasn’t sure what he was thinking but the Omega took charge for the moment, breathing in deeply and enoying the scent of Alpha from the blanket and his hips rolled unconsciously.

 

Viktor tried to recall anything from his studies on Alphas but nothing could explain what was happening. After years of disgust and gagging from the natural scent of an Alpha, any Alpha, and until today, all Alphas, he couldn’t understand why his body was so accepting to this. To Yuuri.

 

Viktor thought his mind was playing games with him, none of this made sense. He was confused and the scent of his own stress heightened, clouding the room with the choking vapor and he began to whine at the scent of his distress. However, seconds later, his nose picked up Yuuri’s stress pheromones, making Viktor’s mind even more of a mess.  The Alpha at the door was in just as much distress as he was… but why?

 

“Viktor, do you trust me?” Yuuri asked softly behind the wooden door. Only a few feet away, behind something the Alpha could easily kick open, get to him, touch him,  _ take him,  _ but he didn’t. 

 

_ “No…”  _ Viktor muttered to himself, knowing how harsh the response would be out loud. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Yuuri, he knew the gentle, brown-eyed man on the other side of the door would never, could never hurt someone.  But inside that man was the Alpha that Viktor knew he couldn’t trust. Alpha’s are known to snap; they are unpredictable, taking what they want.  _ I can’t trust you, I can’t trust you. _

 

Viktor remembered his body as he woke, he wasn’t sore, he was dressed, cared for.  He had not been taken advantage of. Yuuri had even made sure Viktor was comfortable, plugging in scent blockers, leaving out a bottle of water and a bowl if he were sick. Yuuri had set the room as if he were taking care of Viktor as a mate.   _ Had Yuuri been with an Omega during their heat?   _ Viktor knew Yuuri had taken care of him, ignoring his own desire. It was the complete opposite from what Viktor had gone looking for at the bar, but it was so much better.  Yuuri had given him what he needed.

 

Viktor started putting the pieces of what happened, and what was happening at the moment together.  As he did that he grew more grateful and the longer he sat there, the more his heart swelled thinking of the Alpha on the other side of the door who took him in and cared for him, slightly ashamed that he had assumed he would just use him like a rag doll.

 

But Viktor’s mind wouldn't let its guard down.  Memory of the abuse as a child, the threat in his last relationship kept chanting that he was in danger. Viktor was conflicted and he hated it. He lived for certainty, and this was torture.  He knew what his body wanted but his mind was quick to reject his needs.

 

He wanted to go home.  He wanted Chris to come picked him up from the mess he got himself in.  He didn’t want to have a heat wave in the present of an Alpha. He wanted to go home to Makka where he would at least feel safe. 

 

“Are you scared of me?” Yuuri’s voice was still muffled by the door that he kept respectfully shut.

 

Viktor flinched at the question, feeling guilty.  Yuuri had done nothing but help him, protect him, and care for him. And Viktor had repaid him with distrust and suspicion.  He knew what he wanted to respond but he broke into a sweat and groaned at the quick stabbing pains in his lower back. Viktor cried out, but quickly that agony turned to relief as he felt the air surrounding him calm yet again. 

 

From beyond the door Viktor could hear Yuuri’s voice, “I’m sorry, Viktor but I can’t let you suffer like that. It hurts me, and I want to help you in any way you’ll let me.  Just let me control the air, please.” Yuuri’s voice was strained, showing how much he was fighting to control himself and keep calm. An Alpha would want to calm an Omega, and if not pleasure them at least relieve the pain, but Yuuri wouldn’t overstep his bounds or do anything Viktor didn’t want. Viktor knew this must be terrible for the Alpha...to have such control and not let the animal in him take over is a war in itself. Viktor nodded his head even though the other couldn’t see his approval but he could feel it.

 

“I’m going into heat…” Viktor said. It was obvious to the man on the other side of the door, but to Viktor this was a shock, not just what was happening to his body, but that he could say it to another, and an Alpha at that. He was shocked he could say it, knowing the realization he was going to have a heat outside the safety of his home. He was exposed. His scent leaked out, exposing how needy his body was.  The scent of arousal and desire but always mixed with that of stress and terror, because his memories haunted him. 

 

Yuuri’s voice, shifted as if he was crouching down at the door, almost as if he were at eye level with Viktor in bed.  “I don’t want you suffering alone but if it’s best, I can drive you home or I can leave the house for a few hours until your wave passes.”

 

Viktor eyes watered and he moves the covers from his face to reponse. “But this is your house.”

 

In the hall Yuuri shook his head at Viktor’s protest, not that Viktor could see him, but he was adamant the man stay were it was safe, at least for a few hours.  “And you’re uncomfortable with my presence. Viktor I can’t have you leave, you’re in no conditions to go anywhere on your own.” 

 

Viktor kept quiet.  He felt slightly better, this kind man was arguing into keeping him here for safety.  With the clearing of a haze he was able to better think, “My phone, where is it?”

 

“It got busted at the bar last night.” Viktor scoffed at his own stupidity, sitting up. He still didn’t want Yuuri to come in the room but he couldn’t hear him well.  He crawled over to sit by the door, putting his hand on the wood, in truth there was more to his movement than a desire to hear Yuuri better. He wanted to be closer, if still keeping the barrier between them. Outside in the hall he could hear Yuuri shift to sit at the door as well.  “Why were you out last night knowing your condition…”

 

“That’s none of your business.” Viktor retorted quickly, then pursed his lips.  He hadn’t meant to snap, but he felt like Yuuri was invading. He felt horrible for that immediately, he was angry at himself for putting himself in danger.  Yuuri’s question showed sense. Viktor then remembered that Chris told him Yuuri was only worried about him, it was the kindness of his soul.

 

“Fair enough,” Yuuri responded before Viktor could apologize for snapping.

 

Viktor thumbed the edge of the door, sorry for the distance he heard in Yuuri’s voice.  “What happened last night?” Viktor was almost afraid to ask but he needed to know, his memory was still a jumbled mess.

 

“At the bar or when we were in my room?” Viktor went stiff at how Yuuri’s voice wavered at the mentioning of his room but Yuuri could feel Viktor’s reaction and said, “Don’t worry, I didn’t...I didn’t touch you.”

 

Viktor blushed, he had a feeling Yuuri was more the gentleman than he had been.  “Both…”

 

Yuuri took a deep, shaky breath before he explained everything. How he had gone drinking with his best friend and his boyfriend.  How his best friend found Viktor in the restroom. How Yuuri confronted the man who had cornered Viktor in the stall was a teacher at their school. 

 

Viktor grimaced,  _ Daniel? No. That’s not right. _

 

When Yuuri described the man, Viktor’s nose wrinkled up, gathering pieces of Damian offering him drink after drink that night. Damian helping him to the restroom only to gang up on him with a couple of other Alphas, all while Viktor was helplessly drunk.

 

Yuuri explained fighting off the Alpha, downplaying his own part, then their flight from the bar.  Finally he explained why Viktor was there, at the raven hair’s, apartment and not in his home. With every sentence, Viktor wanted to ball up in embarrassment at how he threw himself at Yuuri, begging to be taken, demanding that Yuuri use him in every way possible, under the influence of his heat and alcohol. Viktor began to piece together the missing memories of last night and he didn’t want them.

 

He didn’t want to think about how scared he was, how needy and disgusting he was. How he felt  _ Yuuri _ in the palm of his hands, begging to be fucked and  _ no.  _

 

_ You’re disgusting Viktor.  _

 

Viktor chokes out a pained chuckle. All these year of constantly rejecting Alphas as nothing but abusers and rapist, all these years of being scared of a superior gender snatching his sex life, Victor was beyond hurt to have someone turn the tables on him. But he knew why he was rejected.  Yuuri could see how pathetic and worthless he was. How disgusting an Omega he was, why would an Alpha like Yuuri want him? He clearly is doing this out of pity.

 

Viktor was used to being abused and having everything taken from him in a heartbeat.  Yuuri clearly was prepared for a clean Omega, a decent one. Viktor could offer him nothing.

 

_ Break me. Fuck me. Use me. Use me. Use me. Break me even more. _

 

“Viktor, don’t cr-“

 

He didn’t even realize tears were streaming down his face until Yuuri’s words crept around the door.  “Why are you doing this?” Viktor sobbed, his head pressed against the door and he could have sworn he could feel the heat of Yuuri’s body from the other side. Viktor’s hand was tight on the door knob.

 

Viktor remembered Yuuri slamming him onto the bed.  He could have just taken Viktor if he wanted. Yuuri grinding against him only to stop himself and lay Viktor gently on the bed to coax him into something like a mindless lullaby.  _ Why didn’t he let the Alpha in him sink in and take the lead? _

 

_ Why why why why?  _

 

Yuuri’s voice was soft, almost apologetic.  “People are too worried about others secondary gender, they are blind to who people really are outside of that spectrum.” 

 

Viktor’s eyes burned, his heart swelling more.  This man shared his views on secondary genders, he didn’t want to be defined as an Alpha just as Viktor hated being defined as an Omega.  Viktor shuffled even closer to the door and his entire body shook at how genuine Yuuri was. He was a true Alpha,  _ aha, god, an Alpha _ .

 

Viktor didn’t know how to respond but he let out a loud weep, his chest heaving against the door and his hand death grips the door as his other hand clutches onto his stomach. 

 

He’s been erasing and viewing Yuuri wrong for so long and he finally gets it.  Yuuri was trying to be a friend to him, trying to be on the same level as Chris, protect and care for him and Viktor was being so fucking stupid.  He can see how perfect this man, how genuine, kind, loving he is. But it’s too late, Yuuri has seen what a mess he is, what an awful, horrid mess he is. He could never be anything to Yuuri now.

  
  


“Viktor, can I please come in to calm you properly?”

 

Viktor cries harder and he hated himself for exposing so much in the matter of two days.

 

“No!” The voice was Viktor’s but it was his past trauma and childhood that spoke the words. His body was on fire again, he couldn’t breathe even with Yuuri controlling the air, and his sight became blurred.

 

“Okay, okay, that’s fine.” Yuuri reassured him, but Viktor could hear the defeat in the voice and his heart broke. “You’re going into the first wave of your heat and I don’t want you uncomfortable with me around, so I’m going to leave for a few hours. But I need you to trust me and open the door so I can give you my sweater and cellphone, okay?” 

 

It took Viktor to take a second to understand why Yuuri would give his shirt and phone to him but he still hesitated his decision. Over Viktor messy breathing, he could hear Yuuri walking back and forth in the hall. 

 

“I’ve placed a few bottles of water near the door and protein bars and fruit snacks. I turned the AC on high to keep you from overheating. I just need you to take my shirt and phone. I don’t want you suffering too much and want you to call Chris or someone you trust to come get you while I’m out.” 

 

Viktor didn’t know what his other options were, he was stuck here. He couldn’t get an uber, the driver was a stranger and could take advantage of him smelling him in his peak. He didn’t know for sure if Chris was even back in town to come get him either. And he couldn’t walk home with this heat stopping him.

 

Viktor wanted to run not because what Yuuri was but who Yuuri was. But behind all this panic and rejection, he trusted Yuuri. Even after the all the proof that he saw, and felt that Yuuri wasn’t out to hurt him, his stupid fucking mind kept screaming and screaming not to let him in.

 

But he was in so much pain. How many heats could he endure this way until he slipped into a heat illness? How many heats would he have to suffer alone, unable to take a partner and reluctant to satisfy himself. Viktor couldn’t let his own self in so what makes him think he could let Yuuri in? 

 

While Viktor thoughts ran, he unconsciously moved back.

 

The door opens more…

 

Yuuri comes into sight and Viktor’s Omega begs to grab onto him but anxiety made his feet move, stepping backward in the room to leave a “safe” distance between the two. Yuuri stood there, shirtless, holding his maroon woven sweater in his hand as well as his phone.

 

Viktor tried to keep his eyes on Yuuri’s but they end up wandering. His eyes trailed down the soft jawline, the swan-like neck to the chest, not sculpted, but defined.  Viktor smiled at how Yuuri’s stomach poked out a little forming a little belly. He licked his lips, fingers itching to touch the softness of the skin, and the small trail of hair disappearing into the sweatpants where he was…Viktor’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and his face flushed.

 

“Please don’t look at me, ignore it…” Yuuri’s voice twist in disgust as he came in the room. Viktor sensed the insecurities in the other and Viktor found himself in Yuuri for that small moment, so he glued his eyes with Yuuri’s again. 

 

Chestnut eyes blown out, almost vibrating. They were large, kind, and warm.  Viktor could read people with ease but he couldn’t read Yuuri. Somehow that uncertainty made him all the confident that Yuuri was someone he could trust.

 

Yuuri pointed to the dresser behind Viktor, “I have to get a new sweater and I’ll leave out, alright?”  He waited for Viktor to move across the room before going to take a new sweater. Pulling it over his head, “It’s 12:34 in the afternoon. How long do your heat waves last up?”

 

Viktor flinched at the invasive question.   _ That’s none of your business,  _ he wanted to snap, but he forced himself to understand the Japanese man was here to help him. Viktor thought of Chris those times where his grace days would happen after his new suppressant expired.

 

“3 hours…” Viktor answers honestly. He palmed away the streams of tears off his cheeks and under his chin, sniffling. Viktor knew he heat waves were longer than usual, only made worse by his abuse of suppressants.  Blinking his eyes a few times, he could see Yuuri’s pained expression. It was the same expression Chris done when he found Viktor in this situation before. 

 

Yuuri felt a surge within him.  He wanted to reach out to this man.  He wanted to comfort Viktor, wanted to give him everything in the world so Viktor would never know this much pain again. Yuuri had focus his eyes on his feet, planted to the floor to keep from crossing the line and helping wipe the tears away kissing his forehead and soothing him.

 

Viktor felt how this rift between them was entirely his fault.  He craved that line so deep in the concrete in the first place. Now that he wanted someone to cross the line, he could see how it had been craved so deep the other would fall in it, unable to reach him.

 

Viktor watched Yuuri fumble with the sweater, and could feel his distress at being useless.  It was on Viktor’s lips to thank him for the help, the consideration, the tenderness Yuuri wanted to show.  Viktor wanted to open up, let this man know much he appreciated Yuuri, and how he knew that how hard Yuuri had fought to keep him safe.  But Viktor stayed silent.

 

“I’ll be back around four then. I wrote my address in case you get in touch with Chris to come and get you. If you’re not out of here by the time I come back,”...  _ I won’t hesitate to just take what I want. _  Viktor’s mind hit hard with a memory of the last time he was in a bedroom with his ex, the man who threatened to rape him.  He sucked in the air, rocking back a step at the terror of the memory. He took a shuddering breath, and opened to see that Yuuri was still looking at the floor, “We’ll figure out what to do from there, okay?”

 

Viktor clutched the comforter closer to his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded his head.  Yuuri snuck a look up, catching Viktor’s agreement.

 

“Do whatever you have to do so you’re not in too much pain and I mean whatever, okay, Viktor.” Viktor could hear Yuuri’s voice imploring him to look at him again.  He opened his eyes to see the man had put on a baby blue sweater and was searching his face with those cinnamon softened brown eyes. Viktor stared at Yuuri, whose expression begged to be allowed to take Viktor under his wings or be granted his trust so he could stay with him. 

 

“Okay...” Viktor sobbed out quietly. 

 

“I’ll be back at four,” Yuuri placed the sweater, phone, and a small sheet with his address on it at the edge of the bed. He took the bowl Viktor had emptied his stomach into, turned to the bathroom to empty it.  Viktor heard him run the tap and return to the room with a clean bowl and more water. Yuuri grabbed additional scentblocker to place it near Viktor’s reach. Yuuri took one last look at Viktor and turned to leave, as the man approaches the door Viktor mind begs him to stay.

 

_ Please don’t go. _

 

Yuuri stops short, his shoulders tightening. Turning to Viktor, a small smile faltering his lips however Viktor could see the truth of the man’s torment written clearly in Yuuri’s frown. 

 

Viktor blinked, wondering if he had said his thoughts out loud the way the Japanese man responded.

 

Yuuri purses his lips and steps backwards, towards the door, “I have leave, Viktor, this is best for the both of us.”

 

Then Yuuri is gone...he leaves his very own apartment and trusts Viktor, a complete stranger, in his home.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Going into the first wave of his heat alone at Yuuri’s place was something Viktor never thought would happen, but here he was. However, as the wave hit him he could feel it wasn’t as bad as previous heats.  Viktor knew it was the scent of Yuuri’s calming pheromones on the sweater he left Viktor. Viktor could smell the tender calm from the sweater, and the residual odor from the sheets, all keeping him grounded.

 

Yuuri had told him he could do  _ anything  _ he needed to feel better but Viktor only flushed with embarrassment thinking of Yuuri coming back to his room and his blankets soiled. So Viktor balled up on Yuuri’s bed, knees to his chest with his nose buried in the soft, warm sweater. 

 

It made Viktor feel lukewarm, the scents were calming, they kept him comfortable.  But his head felt like his brain as been replaced with cotton balls, thoughts fuzzy at best. His cock rested half alert in his jeans that he really wanted to take off but it wasn’t his house. It was like his heat wanted to start with his mind at peace and the scent of Yuuri’s calming pheromone, he wanted to fall asleep. 

 

There were small, painful shocks in his stomach and lower back but he tried his best to ignore them. The real challenge was keeping his mind from envisioning Yuuri, the small pudge of his belly soft under Viktor’s fingers, the bulge in Yuuri’s sweatpants, those arms closing around him, Yuuri taking care of him. Viktor had never felt this way before, never with Alec and never alone. He thought of that time in his bed where he finally open up and accepted himself. It was the first time he had successfully pleasured himself.  Viktor remembered how he had felt picturing Yuuri touching him like that but he had to shake the thought away to keep from getting too aroused.

 

As soon as Yuuri had left Viktor tried to call Chris.  But Chris didn’t answer to an unknown number and Viktor had to leave a desperate voicemail.  For an hour and a half he stayed in Yuuri’s bed focusing his thoughts and concentrating on Yuuri’s pheromones.

 

While Viktor shamefully buried his nose in the sweater Yuuri gave him, the phone rang. Through blurry eyes he could read Chris’ number and Viktor felt a wave of relief, followed by dread creep up his shoulders. How was he going to tell Chris what happened without his friend losing his shit like he did with Alec?

 

Chris was very protective of Viktor, and could be a terrifying Omega. Sweet, but when pissed off, his rage challenged that of an Alpha male. In fact, Chris’s Alpha husband was often the more calm and level-headed of the air. 

 

Viktor answered the phone but stayed silent.  He tried to find the right words but nothing came to his mind. He knew that Chris would be upset about the mess Viktor had gotten himself into and while he desperately needed his friend he wasn’t ready for the lecture that would come with him.

 

“Christophe Giacometti speaking.” Just the sound of Chris’ voice made Viktor tear up. 

 

“Chris-” Viktor sobbed out.

 

“Viktor!” Chris gasps and there was a sigh of relief as he spoke closer to the phone to whisper, “Thank fucking god…”

 

“Yes-” Viktor blinked, looking up at the ceiling.

 

“Where the hell are you?!” Chris yells and it’s enough to shake the speaker to the cellphone. Viktor flinches at the volume of Chris’ voice booming in the ear. “I came back home last night to find your house fucking empty, empty bottles of alcohol scattered all across your living room floor, and a pile of your hair in the bathroom. God! Then you don’t answer your cell phone, I was so close to calling the fucking cops.”

 

Viktor curled up again, scared at the anger in his friend’s voice.  He knew Chris wasn’t angry with him, but more scared and worried for him.  However, that didn’t soften his tone at all. “My-my phone got busted last night,” Viktor’s mind wandered back to the previous night, he wanted to erase all of it but it was all coming back to him slowly. He knew eventually he would have to tell Chris everything that had happened but Viktor didn’t have it in him to tell his best friend over the phone. “I- I’m fine but I need you to come pick me up please.”

 

“Your heat is in a few days and you’re not home. Where the hell are you in your condition?” If someone else were to yell at Viktor like this, he would have been offended, and hung up immediately.  But with Chris, he knew it was out of concern. Even if his brain weren’t hazed over from his heat, Viktor couldn’t come up with a lie quickly enough. And even if he were, what good would it do. Chris would know where he was when he came to get him.

 

“Katsuki’s.” Viktor uttered the single word .  He held his breath, waiting for Chris’ response, knowing it would be terrifying.

 

Chris remains silent for a very long ten seconds.  Then Viktor hears a long exhale and he knows his friend is keeping his outrage in check. “Okay, and his address?” Viktor could hear the tension in Chris’ voice and it was all too familiar. He would rather Chris explode right away, the longer he simmer his rage the more horrifying he can become.

 

Viktor squirmed in the bed, his voice was almost childish, “Chris, he...he didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“Why...are you at Katsuki’s house, Viktor?” Chris tried to keep calm but he was close to snapping and Viktor was sure if he went into details, Chris would most absolutely explode. Viktor thought how he could water down the situation.

 

Taking in a shaky breath, Viktor started, “He found me at a bar and took me home with him because I was too drunk…”

 

“Viktor, what’s his address?” Viktor wince at his dark tone. Chris was pissed, beyond pissed. And Chris didn’t believe a word of what Viktor had said.

 

“Please listen to me, he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t touch me and I didn’t touch him.” Viktor breezed through those lies like it was nothing, since on Yuuri’s behalf it was true. They touched each other, Yuuri had put a stop to it right away.  They didn’t have sex, no one was taken advantage of. He had to get that across to Chris.

 

Chris’ voice was tight down the line, showing the control he was exerting for this conversation.  “Viktor, do you even know what Yuuri is and you’re just hanging at his place?”

 

“And you do,” Viktor breathed out.  Viktor had recalled all the favorable things Chris had said of Yuuri to him.  Chris knew Yuuri was an Alpha, he knew about Viktor’s fear of Alphas, too, and he never told Viktor.  “I don’t want to hang around here, which is why I told you to pick me up, but I don’t want you to go into overly-protective mode. I’ll say it again,  _ I’m fine _ .”

 

“Viktor, I swear to god…” Chris was winding up for a lecture.

 

Viktor did his best to hold in a hiss when a sharp pain in felt in his stomach, but it cut Chris off. He knew his friend heard him and knew that all the truth had to come out now.  “My heat came earlier than expected and I think Yuuri may have accidentally jump started it with his pheromones. Like you’ve said, Yuuri is a genuinely nice guy and not like most Alphas, I get it. However, I need you to believe everything you told me about him and not attack him when you get here.”

 

Chris sighed on the other end, “Please tell me he didn’t  _ touch  _ you.”

 

Viktor scoffs because  _ yes _ , they both did but he thought how Yuuri was quick to stop himself. The first time an Alpha used self control and not jump Viktor like others would. “I’ve been telling you that, but  _ no he did not touch me _ , and he fought to not do so. Now, can you please come pick me up?”

 

“Send me the address,” Chris said in a calmer tone and hung up. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

Viktor slept peacefully for the last hour of his heat wave. His body was drained but for the first time ever, the first wave of his heat didn’t leave him wracked in throbbing pain like usual. He felt grateful his mind was at peace and allowed him to sleep through it, and he smiled at the sweater knowing it was Yuuri’s pheromones that helped him through this. However, he was mortified to find that while he was asleep his body had been reacting to his arousal and releasing. 

 

His stomach growled and his throat was dry. He recalled Yuuri leaving protein bars and water by the door. Viktor rose on trembling legs with terrible balance.  He stripped the bed and folded them, placing them near the door. Viktor wanted to wash them himself but he didn’t know where anything was. He did search for the bathroom. Viktor felt awkward going through the apartment as if he were being nosey and invading Yuuri’s privacy when the man had put so much trust in him, but he needed to find a towel and clean himself. He texted Chris to bring him a pair of clothes to change into and his birth control so his heat would start to regulate once again.

 

He found the bathroom. It was small but homey. Again, Viktor was looking more than going in and out the bathroom. Between the toilet and the bathtub was a wooden ladder that held hanging pot plants. Most were succulents, some were simple tropical plants. He notice a round mirror in front of this worn out pink cabinet above the sink. He avoided looking at his reflection, out of habit. He finds a towel and wash rag in the cabinet. He pulled a jasmine body wash from the tub and quickly washed himself at the sink. He hated touching things that weren’t his but he hated feeling sticky and gross after his heat more. 

 

He owed Yuuri a lot after all this.

 

He sat in the bathroom with a towel around his waist, waiting for Chris to text him that he arrived. The longer he sat there, the quicker he wanted to hurry to cover his body. 

 

Viktor peaked down to see his scars poking out, leading him to wonder if Yuuri saw any parts of Viktor. Did he see the scars littered on his body or the marks on his inner elbow, left over reminders from the torment of his childhood. Did he notice the scar on the other side of his neck? 

 

Viktor was vulnerable and he couldn’t even find safety in his home. 

 

Yuuri’s phone chimed and Viktor almost jump out his skin at the sound. He had to make his way to the front door which involved him tripping over moving boxes which littered the floor of the living room along with a huge basket full of balls of yarn and knitting needles.

 

He unlocked the door then ran back into the bathroom as he was still only in a towel. He sat on the toilet with his left leg bouncing in place. He picked at his fingertips until he snapped his head up to find Chris at the door. 

 

He tried…  _ tried  _ to smile at Chris who held a pair of fresh clothes but he couldn’t hold it for long when Chris dropped in front of him and pulled him into an embrace. He cradled Viktor’s head into his shoulder and cards his fingers in the choppy silver hair. “Oh, Vitya...you had me so worried.” Chris soothes, holding Viktor tighter. 

 

Viktor relaxed into the other’s man’s body, letting Chris support him.  “I’m okay, I’m okay…” It was towards Chris but more to reassure himself that everything was okay to avoid an panic attack that had started building after he cleaned himself. He breathed in, counted to eight then released the breath, dragging his fingers in Chris’ hair in return. 

 

Chris pulled away to hold Viktor’s thin face in his hands. “You have so much to explain to me when you’re feeling better, okay. Right now, get dress so I can take you home.” 

 

Viktor didn’t hesitate, changing as fast as he could without tipping over because of his lack of balance. He felt weak. He was already dreading his second wave in the next few hours. 

 

“Where’s Katsuki?”  Chris shivers while Viktor pulls on his long sleeve shirt. 

 

“He left before my wave hit. He gave me food, water, and...turned the AC on high so I wouldn’t get overheated.” Viktor left out the part of Yuuri giving his sweater to him. 

 

“He just let you stay here? In his entire apartment, alone?” Chris watched Viktor put on his shoes, nodding his head as he tied his laces. The blond could see his friend was keeping something from him.  “Viktor, I know you, you’re not telling me-“

 

“I’ll tell you once I’m home. Can we please leave now?  I left his phone on the bed. He should be coming back soon.”  Viktor left it at that. He wanted to burn everything he had touched in this apartment, to eradicate his scent which was probably sticking to Yuuri’s belonging. He hated it. He hated leaving a mess for Yuuri to clean.  He hated leaving his sickening stench behind. He hated all of it.

 

Viktor lead Chris out the apartment, just to find Katsuki leaning against the trunk of his car, bundled up in his winter coat, shivering against the freezing cold. It had been snowing hard and couldn’t have been more than 20 degrees out. 

 

The Russian man couldn’t move when he caught Yuuri looking up. From behind him, Chris pushed past and headed towards Yuuri too fast for Viktor to grab him, already out of his reach. The Omega stalked over towards the Alpha, his rage building.

 

“Yuuri Katuski, let me talk to you for a second!” Chris growled.

 

“Chris, don’t!” Viktor begs, quickly finding his feet to follow.

 

Viktor saw Yuuri bow his head as if he has already accepted what was coming. Then he heard a car door slam shut then fast footsteps crunching in the snow. A body yanked Chris back, when the hood of their winter coat fell back, Viktor saw the long brown hair of the Swiss man’s husband.

 

Chris fought against his husband’s hold, “Let go of me, Luis!” 

 

“Get in the car, Chris. Settle this on a clearer mind, you understand me?” Luis protest.  Chris’ husband lowered him back to the ground, releasing him when he saw the man was calmer.

 

Viktor watched Yuuri, seeing that he was shaking, the stress steaming off at all four of them. He took a tentative step towards the man but Yuuri bowed his head lower, crossing his hands together, trying to keep calm.

 

Viktor was too focused on Yuuri and was startled when he felt Chris pulling on his arm to direct him to the car. The Swiss man swore heavily in his native language, hissing and growling every time Luis told him to calm down.

 

Viktor climbed into the back seat of the car. Looking out the back window, he watched Yuuri standing there with his head bowed, staying like that until he was out sight.  Viktor turned, sitting forward. 

 

In his lap lay the maroon sweater Yuuri had given him, he brought it to his nose once more, closing his eyes and relaxing into the scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A always, I am happy to say how grateful for having all of you as my readers! The amount of Kudos, comments, and bookmarks make me very happy~ 
> 
> Again, thank you for BluSkates for being my beta, she did an amazing job to sculpt this chapter as it is one of the most important chapters to come across. We get to see Viktor's emotions and opinions change in such a positive way. Viktor has a long way to go in understanding his body and what he's exactly feeling for Yuuri but this is a stepping stone. 
> 
> ALSO! Over my summer break, I managed to edit an AMV for YOI a few weeks ago! You guys should check it out!   
> [Lovely: Yuri!!!On Ice AMV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvCHaOFMsBM&feature=youtu.be)
> 
> I don't think I did anything wrong for yall to scream at me about. It's not as bad as the pain I dragged everyone through in the past chapters. Aha. Comment, kudos, shower this chapter with love as it's a new beginning in Viktor's life!


	12. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sage and lavender awakens the Omega in Viktor, Chris may have jumped a few steps ahead of his best friend, and Vitya finally sees the impact he has as a high school teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR GIVING THIS ANGSTY FIC 300 KUDOS! By chapter 13 we will reach 200 comments, that's insane! I appreciate the love and support!

Viktor never thought he would be here…

 

He never thought he would feel the sheets on his bed brushing against every inch of his naked body and yet here he was.  He never thought he would would feel this way, on fire and shivering, tormented and pleased.

 

Rolling in the bed, he got tangled in the comforter while his hands desperately reached for the softness of a certain, stolen maroon sweater that remained drenched in the scent of the Alpha who took such good care of him. 

 

_ Yuuri. Yuuri. Yuuriyuuriyuuriyuuri! _

 

Viktor never let the name pass his lips, but his mind was chanting it, calling for him,  _ begging  _ for him as Viktor writhed in bed, his body surging in sexual ecstasy and finding its own fulfillment without his consent. He knew as soon as the cloud of his heat cleared he would deny everything he has done or worse, he would call himself disgusting...but right now? Right now, oh he couldn’t give a damn. Right now he was having the best high of his heat.

 

He allowed his hips to rut up against his body pillow vowing to burn it once his heat had full passed.  Wedged between his legs, the pillow had been trapping the issue of his body’s release, having lost count at this point. Coming untouched over and over again, his mind kept creating different scenarios to go with the rolling of his body.  Each of these starred Yuuri, the Japanese man taking care of him, guiding him to each orgasm, holding him as he shook with aftershocks. Viktor knew he would never let it become reality, but let his mind run with the fantasy.

 

The imaginary Yuuri cradled the back of his head with Viktor’s thin legs wrapped gently around Yuuri’s toned back, his thighs rubbing against Yuuri’s tummy. Viktor’s mind was so strong he could even feel the warmth of Yuuri, and it captivated him. 

 

For the first time in a horribly long time, Viktor felt protected, warm with trust, not overheating like most his heats alone.

 

He could almost feel his imagination come to life with ghost-like kisses falling softly on his cheeks, his jaw, and Yuuri licking up his scent glace. The realism of the sensation had Viktor moaning for the real thing.

 

_ Yes. Yes. Yes.  _

 

His taunt thighs tighten around the pillow as he presses Yuuri’s sweater into his face, almost suffocating himself, becoming dizzy from it.

 

He could feel Yuuri on him, around him, in him.

 

His hair was completely soaked through with sweat.  Rocking his hips faster, Viktor let his hidden and unknown desire leak out his mouth only to be muffled by the sweater that smelt so strong of the man he wanted.  Airy moans flowed into the silence of his room, followed by the creak of the bed as he became desperate to reach his peak again.

 

With shaky fingers, he mindlessly slid a hand down the flat of his stomach.  The lower he got, the hotter his skin felt. Fingers dragging a line of his own cum swirled over his left hip. Viktor didn’t know what he was doing but his Omega was taking over and, for the first time in his entire life, he was allowing it. As if under its own control his body harshly rolled into the pillow and Viktor whimpered once more into Yuuri’s sweater as his fingers started to slide over his left side of his buttocks.

 

This was some too new, and too scary.  Viktor snapped out of it, claiming control over himself.  His hesitation and paranoia rushed back. He gently pulled his hand away.  He unlocked his ankles and set the pillow next to him. He sat up a little too fast, and felt his body sway as the cloud of his heat swirled around him, pushing his hesitation and inhibitions out of his mind once again.

 

He wanted more…

 

He needed more…

 

He needed Yuuri here with him…

 

Just the mention of the name was enough to set his skin on fire and his entire face darkened to a deep red.

 

Viktor combed his hair back with his finger before he crawled on the bed to straddle the pillow between his legs. Mounting the abused body pillow, Viktor moaned as the cotton brushed against his sensitive cock, still heavy with arousal.

 

His mind still ran with fantasies and, looking down at the pillow for a quick second, he visualized Yuuri under him. Brown eyes looking up into his face, soft hands on each of his hips, Yuuri’s tender voice asking if this was okay. That sweet, sweet voice asking for reassurance, comforting Viktor and never pushing had Viktor sinking his knees deeper into the bed. His blue eyes rolled up to stare at the ceiling as he touched himself, imagining it Yuuri’s hand.

 

A fist closed around his cock and his thumb ghosted over his erect nipple.  Viktor didn’t need to pump himself as the sensation to push his hips into his closed fist erupted in his body. Slowly he rocked himself into his fist, slowly feeling the lightheaded, heat taking over.  He continued like that until he became a moaning mess once again.

 

His thighs became soaked from his natural lubricant being produced during a heightened arousal, however there was a great more as he had neglected his body and desires for so long. Without a second thought, his right hand snaked down to his backside, fingers grazing the thick slick under his buttocks. He flinched when his fingers kept moving on their own but he was stunned when a moan was snatched as he touch his entrance for the first time.

 

He blinked up at the ceiling, getting his mind back in his control and stopping his fingers. Viktor allowed himself to explore the feeling, the twitching, begging for something to go further but he hesitated. He wanted to pull his fingers away but his body wanted more...How long was he going to sit here and not satisfy his heat?

 

He shut his eyes and breathing in, he counted to 8 then let it back out. In those seconds with his eyes shut, he saw Yuuri from the day Viktor accepted his peace treaty cupcake and remembered the loveliest smile he had ever had directed towards him.

 

Viktor gasped as the tip of his index finger popped in, sliding in further with the help of his slick. Working his finger in to the last knuckles, he sat back on his heels to feel his own finger deep within himself. He was stunned by the feeling, the desire that lit up his body.  He had never felt so connected to his own wants, always so afraid of what other people would do to him, how they could hurt or use him. However, in this moment, with the pleasure spreading through his body, his Omega humming in satisfaction he felt ownership of himself, his sexuality, and his body.  In sudden amazement, he breathed out, “This is me…”

 

It’s stupid, of course it was always him but this was different. He had never touched himself like this before. Two people in his entire life had touched this part of him, both without his consent. Their actions had made it almost impossible until this moment to disconnect the pain they caused with the pleasure he could feel.  Being able to touch this part of himself was a wake up call.

 

_ This is my body. This is my Omega body… _

 

He pulled his finger out slightly to push it back in and the shiver that ran through his body shook him into the next century.

 

_ Oh...this is what the Omega body is capable in a comfortable heat.  This is what I could feel with...him... _

 

Opening and accepting. The push and pull of his finger had his hips rolling. Viktor felt his slick slide down his hand and over his wrist.  He took that as a sign to join his middle finger with his index. The stretch was nothing but Viktor’s fingers of his left hand scratched at the pillow under him as his back arched, biting back his own voice.

 

He rolled his hips back settling onto his own fingers further, but it wasn’t enough. Viktor whined at his fingers slipping in and out of himself, not knowing what exactly he needed to do. Wiggling his fingers for a quick second, he felt a wave of sick rise in him.   _ Okay, I don’t like that. _  He sat back on the balls of his feet, fingers still deep in him as he tried to figure out what his omega craved. Viktor pushed up more and his finger graced over a velvet like bump buried within him. He was curious to touch it, fingers curving into it, sending Viktor crying out in pure bliss.

 

His mind was nowhere to be found in the silence of his bedroom as his knees slid on the sheets and rode his fingers, curving them to find that little bulge of nerves in him. He felt his cheeks flush, his chest heaving, the heart beat in his throat that stretched as he hung his head back, lost in pleasure.

 

He continued to curve his fingers but mindlessly began to bounce in place, the springs of his own bed helping him. He felt himself get wetter, dripping off his wrist and onto the pillow, the poor piece of fabric destroyed as his fingers clawed holes into it.. Salivating when his body jolts at the insane amount of ecstasy rushing through him, Viktor whined in pleasure, knowing there could be more with an alpha. Riding his fingers, bouncing faster made him hiccup forced out moans. Inhaling deeply Viktor picked up his own scent that was sickly compared to the honey scent of Yuuri’s sweater, which bathed in sage and lavender. It made his cloud of lust thicken as everything mixed all so beautifully.

 

“Y-Yuuri,” Viktor sang softly. Viktor hated his voice, he hated how he sound so nasally and needy but how sweetly the Alpha’s name rolled off his tongue, he had the need to say it again and again and, “Yes, Yuuri, yes, oh god!” Viktor’s body shook violently as he approached climax.  He couldn’t keep his balance and fell forward, his forehead digging in the mattress and his ass lifting up in the air so he could keep working his two fingers in.

 

Squeezing his eyes shut, he worried his teeth into the moist bottom lip, picturing Yuuri, positioned behind him, grabbing onto his hips to pull him with his thrust. Viktor grabbed himself and flicked his wrist at the imaginary pace Yuuri held, his fingers following the same pattering. Not too fast, not rough.

 

In his mind Viktor constructed the perfect lover Yuuri would be.  The Japanese’s man’s hands spreading Vikor open more to push deeper. Viktor flicked his fingers to stroke that length to hit the bundle of nerves in him.

 

Viktor held his breath, the fist closed around himself, tightening, then it all came rushing out.

 

He released, following it with a harsh cry of Yuuri’s name, which left tears beading out the corner of his eyes. His body gave up instantly, crashing into the mattress from his high. He was a mess, his entire bed was a mess and he laid in it, lacking any energy to move from it. His body convulsed and his lower half pulsated for how long he couldn’t tell, but he moaned as his body started to accept that it has been satisfied.

 

Viktor rolled onto his back, pushing his sweated out locks off his face, staring at the ceiling as he panted, desperately trying to steady his breathing. Finally the cloud from his heat began lifting and with each passing second, Viktor felt his embarrassment and disbelief sink in.

 

His body became clammy and cold but that didn’t stop the blush painting his face when he realized what he has done.

 

Viktor let out a raspy gasp and all he could say was, “Oh my god…”

 

~~~~~~~

 

Viktor’s heat past by, as did his own birthday and Christmas. Growing up in Russia, Christmas and his birthday both fell on January 7th.  His mother did her best to try to make those days special, but he could never find a reason to celebrate them as an adult. His mother made every effort to give Viktor a great birthday but after the age of ten those days were nothing but him hiding secrets from her. He spent every day after the first of the abuse terrified he would be in trouble if his mother found out about what her husband had been doing to him.

 

Day two of his heat was his birthday and he got a text from Chris but what hurt Viktor the most were the missed calls from his mother. Even if their relationship was complicated from the trauma of his childhood he loved his mother dearly.  However, he worried that if he called her back he would only end up telling her everything of the last few days, and he wasn’t sure he could articulate it to himself, let alone another person. He eventually texted her back and awkwardly responded that he was going through his heat at the moment and apologized for not answering. His mother was always concerned for Viktor and his well-being, but he wanted to come to his mother when he was actually happy. She had seen Viktor depressed and hurt for so many years, he wanted to change that, and for her to see him happy and stronger...but not as the mess he was at the moment. He thought it would be best to ignore and dodge her to avoid lying about his happiness he had been wishing for since he was six.

 

‘

Chris knew how Viktor was around this time of year and he wanted to give him space but after what happen at Katsuki’s, he’d been keeping a close eye on him. He called earlier to insist that he would come over since he knew Viktor’s heat wouldn’t be as bad by then.  He really wanted to give Viktor company, like he does every year.

 

Viktor’s heat last only four days.  The first day was rough, the second day was just as bad but Viktor had felt more at ease with his body, and the last two are mainly just filled with cramps. Viktor kept taking his birth control, trying to do more research on how to regulate his heats. He also tried to find out why he was so comfortable with Yuuri’s scent, although, it was common sense. An Alpha’s scent is always intoxicating to an Omega, but Viktor had always felt so sick if he was ever in the same room with an Alpha with their pheromores seeping off of them.  He was left wondering what was so different about Yuuri.

 

_ Maybe he’s on suppressants as well. _

 

Viktor shuddered at the thought of him moaning Yuuri’s name and inhaling the sweater he had stolen from the man like there was no tomorrow only a few days ago. Viktor questioned why someone with such a beautiful and arousing scent would suppress it down. Viktor frowned because he remembered Yuuri shared the same views as he did when it came to secondary genders and inappropriate the use of scents and pheromones.

 

He sat on the couch, the laptop on his thighs, Makkachin snuggled under his legs. After he had cleaned his entire apartment and tried his best to even out his hair, he could see he had gotten worse coping with his heats and his memory of his past. He worries at the skin on the tip of his fingers, humming in disapproval because he knew he had to go back to school. Yakov had emailed twice, the first was to kindly ask after Viktor’s well-being and to inform that him his students missed him greatly. The second stated the district was being stricter about his attendance and Yakov said he was only able to afford a substitute for so long. The principal wanted to support Viktor, but his hands were tied with the school’s lack of money and their inadequate response to health problems for the staff.  It all meant Viktor would have to return to teaching soon, he just didn’t have a choice.

 

Viktor loved teaching, and he would never risk losing his job and not seeing his students again. Viktor began to think of ways to bounce back and attend school like a normal teacher would. He reached down to tangle his fingers into brown curls on top of Makka’s head. He felt immediate comfort, the poodle working her magic on his demeanor.  Then the idea hit him and he began to look up ways to bring her into his school as an service animal. His heart dropped when he learned that the training took months, almost years. However, he saw there were several levels of support animals companions can offer. There are such thing as emotional support animals, and the training was much less.  Makka was a well behaved, calm older dog and she would be very limited to places, but if he could get approval from his therapist, then approval of the superintendent of the school district, he would able to bring her in as a comfort and emotional support dog.

 

Things would have been way easier if his annoying body change didn’t happen the middle of the year.

 

After what happened with Katsuki, and that disgusting teacher who cornered him in the restroom, Viktor surmised that his body was done hiding his status. His scent would be perceptible to others, and he would have to deal with that as it came.  He could use his scent blocking soaps but that could only water everything down. He missed his suppressants which took away his scent entirely, and people didn’t see him as target. He missed being able to hide something he hates so passionately about himself. But he’s left with nothing else to do but to let his body do want he was made to do. He knew he could control how strongly his scent came off but his issue was that he didn’t want even the smallest whiff of his scent to float off his body and attract the kind of attention that he experienced at the bar.

 

Viktor’s breathing picked up as the memory came flooding back.

 

_ Damian Landbrook. _

 

Viktor knew it was him when Yuuri described the man from that night, but it fully hits him that it was a teacher he works with, a teacher who was only a few classrooms away from him. A teacher whom he would be forced to see daily.  How could he feel safe in his own building?

 

Viktor noticed during his first few years of working at the school that Damian had always tried hard to get close.  However Viktor was quick to brush it off and told him he wasn’t interested, even as just a friend. Something about Damian intimidated Viktor, there was something lurking just underneath the surface of that man that put Viktor on edge.  The silver haired man kept to himself when entering the job, til this very day. After a while Damian gave up and kept his distance and Viktor didn’t pay any attention or any mind to the other man.

 

With his return to the school, Viktor now had to inform Yakov of the situation and state how uncomfortable he would be working around the other man. Viktor thought of restraining orders only to cringe at how small he gets paid and how much it would cost for the paperwork. On top of that he wasn’t sure how people would react?  Would they blame him, call him a tease? It was a lot to add on Viktor’s plate.

 

After sending a painful reply to Yakov explaining what had happen over his month’s leave, involving his heat and bar situation, Viktor affirmed he would be able to return after Winter break was over. He explained how he hadn’t been able to maintain emotional stability now that he was off suppressants and he wasn’t used to the changes his body was undergoing.  He just hoped Yakov would understand what was happening to his body, and not have to have an awkward conversation with the elderly man. Normally, he would never have talked about any of this to anyone but his job was on the line and he didn’t have much of a choice.

 

Continuing the email, he asked if he could possibly bring Makka with him on school ground as she was going to get sign as an emotional support dog. It was...rough on Viktor. After leaning back to read over the message, literally everything he’s been going though and watering down certain parts to keep it from becoming explicit, it was rough. He hesitated to send the email because why would Mr. Feltsman care? Viktor never understood just how valuable a teacher like he was to his school district, he assumed they could simply fire him and replace him easily with another teacher.  What he didn’t know where the several emails back and forth between the principal and superintendent stressing the importance of a highly skilled, compassionate person like Viktor to his school. Had the Russian man even a hint of the praise Yakov spoke of him he would have blushed harder than during his heat.

 

Makka whined, butting her head against Viktor’s leg, something she does a lot when she’s worried about her human. Viktor took a deep breath and sent the email, tears stinging his eyes because it was all hitting him.

 

He had to go back to school with his second gender freely exposed. He had to be in the same building with a man who tried ply him with alcohol and rape him in a public bathroom, and god only knows what would have come afterwards. He had to learn to control his pheromones in public, surrounded by unwanted Alphas with greedy eyes on him.

 

And god,  _ god _ , he had to be in the same class as Yuuri Katsuki. Yuuri, an Alpha man he’s still very cautious of, but also very willing to let the man in cautiously and slowly if the brown eyed man were willing. Viktor smiled thinking of how the Alpha man took care of him and treated him like an actual human being and not a toy.

 

The smile faded as a blush grew as Viktor remembered how he used the vision of the Alpha man giving him such pleasure in his own bedroom, more than he had ever known in his entire life.

 

There was a knock on the door.  Makka ran off to the door, eager to greet the newcomer.  Viktor sat up straight, collecting his thoughts and stopping his mind from falling in a intoxicating rush.

 

He shut his laptop and opened the door to find Chris holding tupperware full of home cooking.

 

Chris leveled Viktor with a knowing glance, “Knowing you, you haven’t been eating like you’re supposed to, so Luis was nice enough to cook you a few meals.” Chris sighed, coming in. Viktor took the the tupperware as Chris removed his shoes at the door. Chris smiled but Viktor knew he was faking it, not wanting to upset Viktor.  The beautiful blond man would resist the urge to push his friend into talking about what happened a few days ago. It was something he couldn’t avoid for long nor lie about. Chris was like his mother, he couldn’t muster up a lie to tell him in his face.

 

Viktor set the food on the counter in the kitchen, looking inside the clear containers to see what Chris and his husband had made. It mixed from different meats, fish, and side dishes. There was a small white box on top so Viktor carefully place it on the counter.  Opening it he found...cake?

Inside the small box is a tiny personal cake with white swirls of frosting around the entirety of it. On the side was a small tag in pretty handwritten cursive, which read:

 

_**Red Velvet w/ Buttercream Icing** _

_**To:Vitya** _

_**From: The Giacometti’s** _

 

Viktor smiled down into the box, his friend was the most loving man.  “You got me a cake?” Viktor gasped in complete awe.

 

“Correction, Luis and I  _ made  _ you a cake.” Chris chimed with a cute small pout as he sunk into the couch in the living room. “Well, Luis did majority of the work, I just wrote the note and blew a kiss into the cake mix. I’m beyond terrible at baking. Luis has a college degree in culinary arts,  so I was basically kicked out the kitchen when he was cooking.”

 

Viktor felt warm, a childish urge to put his finger in the icing for a taste ran through him, but he held off.  He hadn’t eaten actual food in the past few days and he knew starting with a sugary sweet would only turn his stomach. He hadn’t been eating right since he was taken off his suppressants.  During and after his heat he had eaten protein bars and drunk water, but nothing else as it was hard to keep down most things and he really didn’t have the appetite for anything more.

 

He ended up taking a simple meal in the smallest container.  It was salmon, rice and broccoli, Viktor warmed it in the microwave, thinking he should at least have one actual meal in him. Chris rose to put the food in the fridge then leaned against the counter across from Viktor who was groaning in delight as the delicious food spread over his taste buds. Chris’ food was good but whenever Luis cooked for the three of them, Viktor was always drooling before the food was even put in the stove.

 

Viktor felt eyes on him but he wasn’t ready to look at Chris, knowing the lecture that was coming. The conversation he didn’t want to have was coming.

 

“I spoke to Katsuki…”

 

That was  _ not _ what Viktor had assumed Chris would say.  He was expecting the traditional, ‘take care of yourself’, ‘let yourself relax’, ‘get out and have fun’...he felt panic rise in his throat, killing the delicious taste of the meal.  Viktor snapped his head up to see the sadness in his friend’s eyes and was terrified because last time he “spoke” to someone who had hurt Viktor, it ended with a line of cop cars and an ambulance.

 

Chris sees the horror in Viktor’s expression and chuckles, his head still looking down at his feet then sighs heavily. “I promise you, I didn’t do anything. Luis was with me the entire time to make sure I didn’t do anything, oh but Landbrook has something coming for him.”

 

Viktor stayed silent, staring at Chris because he was still stuck on Chris confronting Yuuri.

 

_ Did Chris hurt Yuuri? What did Chris say to Yuuri and vise versa?   _ Viktor felt himself starting to have an attack and Chris notice in time to shush him and get closer to Viktor to hold his hands.

 

“Honey, listen to me. I promise you, I didn’t touch or hurt him, alright? I sat down and spoke with him at a public coffee shop not too far from his place. He was very understanding and agreed to come talk to me.” Chris stroked his thumb over Viktor’s knuckles, tilting his head to try to meet his eyes before he continued.  “I know I almost went to go kill him that day I picked you up but I was just really angry at myself for not being there for you. I was angry that Yuuri took you in...and with him being an Alpha and you being drunk had me assume the worst.” Viktor finally meet his eyes with Chris to see how sincere he was. Viktor’s heart sank at the tears that were threatening to spill from his friend.  But the way Chris talked of Yuuri’s second gender...something Chris had known and kept from Viktor.“ I...I just didn’t want anyone touching you like the others did so easily with you in the past.”

 

“He didn’t hurt me.” Viktor’s voice came out so weak but Chris nods his head, holding their hands tighter.

 

“I know...He told me he didn’t. That he did everything you said and everything to avoid doing so. He asked if you were okay and I told him you were dealing. Then he kept asking if you were angry at him and I told him he would have to ask you. I talked to him to understand his side of the story but you two need to talk things out.”

 

Viktor shook in his head, lower it, rejecting Chris’ words.  “I can’t do that.”

 

Chris’ voice got softer, his thumbs still rubbing circles on Viktor’s knuckles. “You have to talk to him, hun.”

 

“How can I talk to someone who saw me in such a disgusting state?”  He shrank in on himself, remembering how he had propositioned Yuuri, how he had offered himself to the man, and how Yuuri had held strong, refusing him.  Then Viktor remembered Chris had known… known all along that Yuuri was an Alpha. “On top of that, he’s an Alpha male, something you failed to tell me. And something you knew for I don’t know how long.” Viktor didn’t want to talk about it.

 

Chris flinched at the change of tone of Viktor’s voice. He seldom heard his friend speak so harsh, he was clearly pissed. Chris was impressed.  “I knew the day I took you the hospital when you got your implants removed.”

 

Viktor snatched his hands away from Chris’ gentle hold, standing on his feet. “You knew since Oct-fucking-tober?! For damn near 3 months!”

 

Chris no long impressed with pissed-off Viktor, he was a little afraid of the Omega.  “I was going to tell you but the timing was never right?”

 

“Oh,” Viktor scoffs. “I’m glad the perfect timing was after he had me under him in his bedroom, right?”

 

Chris squirmed a little at the accusation, “Don’t get upset about Yuuri, he took care of you-”

 

“I know he did,” Viktor screamed. “But that doesn’t excuse you from not telling me he was something I fear the most. You know how I am around Alphas and you just carelessly let me be around one. You put him in the spotlight so many times and it’s because you knew he was an Alpha, I’m not fucking dumb, Chris!”

 

Yelling, they were yelling at each other. Viktor was yelling at his friend, in his apartment.  If he weren’t so upset at his best friend he would be proud of just how strong and forceful he was being.  He was upset with something someone did to him and he was verbalizing it...loudly! 

 

“I put him in the spotlight because I saw him as a mate who would respect you and give you the things I know you need the most, Viktor! You’re so lonely and closed off and you have every right to be, but I see how Yuuri looks at you when you’re not paying attention, how his eyes always lock on you when he sees you in the hallways or in the teachers’ lounge. Your head is always down and you never even notice how he watches you with such protective eyes.”

 

“So why did you keep it a secret? Why did I have to find out in that way? Why couldn’t you just tell me?” Vitkor scratches as his wrist, trying to ground himself, trying to stop himself from crying because he was so tired of doing so. He loves Chris, all he has is Chris, but he’s angry at him.

 

“Because you’d just close him off for good and you’ll be left lonely again.” Chris’ voice aches. “I’m tired of seeing you with such sad eyes Vitya...I hate not seeing you happy. You can’t move on and it’s all because of your dirty ass father and your scum of an ex. I see how you are around Yuuri and the almighty wall you have around you 24/7 falls when you’re around him. You try to let him in without even knowing it, you’re not as alert as you are with others...If you saw how hurt he was at the coffee shop, you can tell that man care so deeply for you.”

 

Viktor’s lips quivered, his hands shook , and he felt like running.

 

From the situation, from Chris, from Yuuri, from his own looping mind.

 

Yuuri Katsuki, as his mate? An alpha who acted so sweet just to snatch Viktor in a heartbeat, would he change colors down the road?

 

No one...could love him. Not after seeing how much of a mess Viktor is. Not after seeing Viktor as the broken Omega he is.  Yuuri might have thought him attractive once, but he could never see him that way again. Not after the scene at the bar, and then the one at his apartment.  He could only feel pity for Viktor.

 

Viktor gave up on love the night he had to collect his belonging outside Alec’s house.  He gave up on letting Alpha males get close to him and he told himself it’s worth being cold at night, as long as if he’s safe and unharmed.

 

Just how Viktor gave up on love years ago, Yuuri should do the same.

 

Yuuri deserves a healthy and stable Omega and not someone who he could only see as one worthy only of pity.

 

~~~~~~~

 

After going through a small meetup with his counselor to get approval for Makka to serve as an ESA, Viktor scheduled his next appointment. He was already dreading telling Otabek everything that had happened since their last visit.

 

Then Monday, January 7th hits.

 

The alarm rang at six in the morning but Viktor had been awake for hours, scrubbing his skin raw with scent blocking body wash. Under the now lukewarm water of his shower, his mind ran over how today would go.  He will be returning back teach his students, trying to think of ways to confront Yuuri and avoid Damian. Right now he was trying his best to get rid of his natural, potent scent before he entered the school.

 

He brushed his hair, wincing at the small knots that got caught, only to sigh when his hair curls at the tips. He treats his scar on the left side of his neck before placing a bandage there to hide it. He looked in the mirror for a quick second ro make sure he was presentable…

 

He stops when he spots the dark circles under his eyes. It wasn’t something new, and applied a little makeup to try to hide them.

 

Another hour was nothing but Viktor paced the living room, inhaling deeply, exhaling shakily. His phone alarm rang again notifying him that he had 30 minutes to leave out so he’s not late.

 

“Okay,” Viktor breathed to himself. “Okay. Okay.” Viktor turned to see Makka sitting by the door with red bandana tied around her neck with the bold letters saying: ESA Support Dog. Yakov approved of letting his dog on school grounds for Viktor’s sake. However his reply towards Landbrook was sour and he has stated he has gotten into similar situations with other staff. Yakov told Viktor he would keep him posted on the matter.

 

Viktor grabbed his set lunch that Luis was kind enough to send him from the fridge then headed to the door to slip his shoes on.

 

Makkachin lolls her tongue, placing her large paw on Viktor’s knee. Viktor didn’t realize he was breathing hard. He placed his hand on top of her paw, stroking the thick fur.  “You’ll take care of me, right girl?”

 

Makka boofs happily before she spins in a circle and sits tall at the door.

 

The drive to the school was nothing, but arriving and pulling into his parking spot had him stuck. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. All he could do was to try and catch his breath, death grip on the steering wheel.

 

Makkachin’s whining got Viktor’s attention, watching her headbutt the passenger door, wanting out.

 

“Why can’t I be like you, Makka. You’re such a role model.” Viktor jokes, a failed attempt to laugh off his anxiety and all his fear, he had to face  _ day one  _ back at the school. Staring out the windows, he watched students pool around the school and part of him wanted to wait it out until they went in but Viktor would be late. Makkachin would have also dug a hole at the bottom of the car just so she could get out.

 

“Okay, you’re right. Out we go.” Viktor’s hand grabbed the door handle. He started to overthink everything, inches away from starting the car back up to head home. Makka barked and Viktor jumps in his seat.

 

_ Breathe in. _

 

_ Breathe out. _

 

He exited the car, gripping Makka’s leash he had looped around his arm. Snow began to fall, Makkachin bit at the snowflakes, boofing in excitement. For a second Viktor forgot where he was until he heard someone scream his name from across the parking lot.

 

Looking up he saw one of his students waving wildly to him from across the lot.  He could see how hurt and relieved they were to see Viktor in person after so many weeks. Seconds later, someone else spots him, then another, then several others. Until someone near the school entrance cheers loud enough for the city to hear:  “Mr. Nikiforov is back!” Not even a minute after, student after student come rushing out. They stayed in front of the school, respecting Viktor’s space. Yakov had made an announcement that Viktor was returning, and asked the students to be respectful to their teacher and allow him to transition to his classroom easily. Over 30 kids stood on the steps, in the brutally cold weather, clapping and cheering for Viktor’s return. He told his students he worked as hard as any other teacher, how he doesn’t need special attention, but these students, kids that aren’t even taking his class, were grateful for him.

 

Viktor smiled, which felt like the first time in months and waved at them before the security guard instructed them to go back inside before they get a detention slip.

 

_ God, I’m struggling, but please… _

 

Viktor watch his students still cheering as they entered the school.  He pulled at the maroon sweater he had pulled from the bed that morning and thrown over his form.  It was a little shorter than he would wear, but he was so thin that the sweater fit perfectly. Inhaling deeply he relaxed in the smell of Yuuri.  He hoped the man wouldn’t ask for the sweater back...not yet.

 

_ Let me learn and accept so I can teach these kids properly. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I would like to thank all of you who are still reading, leaving comments, and kudos! I worry I'm starting to bore some of you guys but each chapter, I see new readers and people from chapter one still here. It means so much to me. 
> 
> I have to thank BluSkates every chapter as I am grateful to have her as my beta, she really knows how to bring my chapters to life. 
> 
> Next update may be awhile, I am working over 40 for the next two weeks and I go back to school on the 27th. Yikes. Two more semesters of college then I'm free. 
> 
> As always, leave comments and kudo so I know yall enjoyed the update. I wish you all a great week. See you next update, stay golden!


	13. Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Yuuri thinks when he has been told he's a possible mate? How does Yuuri handle the intoxcating scent of Viktor in his own home? With Winter break ending and school starting back up, no one should know about the incident at the bar....right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri gets a little frisky with himself.   
> More Yuuri x Viktor interaction.....You're welcome???

_ “Please ask him for my forgiveness.” All Yuuri could do was bow his head low, knowing he ruined everything with the one man he wanted to hold close to him. _

 

_ Yuuri had dreamt of clinging to the slight frame of the Omega, all through the morning, the afternoon, and into the evening.  Then guiding the man into their shared bed, holding him through the night, protecting him in his sleep by the Alpha’s embrace. During the day Yuuri fantasizes about gently threading the silver locks between his fingers, and burying his nose in the crook of the Russian’s neck, inhaling that lustful scent of Lemongrass and honey.  But that fantasy was gone now. _

 

_ He had wanted to hold Viktor.  To kiss there, rub his back until he melted peacefully against Yuuri. _

 

_ He had wanted to calm Viktor, making him feel secure until he heard the Omega purr and hum lovingly… _

 

_ Now, all this, was something Yuuri would never  _ **_never_ ** _ be able to experience. _

 

_ “Yuuri, you’ve done nothing wrong...You did what all Alphas should do and that is to protect others, to protect omegas.” The voice pulling him from his thoughts didn’t belong to Chris but was that of his mate, sitting calmly across from Yuuri. “He may not be your mate but you took care of him nevertheless. You’ve earned my respect as an Alpha and Chris can agree.” Yuuri shook his head, to heavy in his own sorrow to hear the warmth in the other man’s voice. He recalls how he had kept Viktor safe, but he can only remember the last time he jumped in to help an Omega...making her cry, begging for Yuuri not to hurt her. _

 

_ Viktor was scared of Yuuri’s Alpha side. Everyone kept their distance once they hear about Yuuri’s status. People feared Yuuri… _

 

_ Yuuri deepens his bow, his head almost hitting the glossy wooden table. “Please ask him for my forgiveness,” Yuuri almost sobs. “I promise to keep my distance as of now, just please ask him to forgive me.” _

 

_ “He’s not mad at you, Yuuri.  He’s more upset with himself.” Chris said in a hushed voice. “When he had me pick him up, told me how you’d done nothing wrong and hadn’t hurt him. I could tell he was being honest, you protected him and kept him safe.  He’s just conflicted on how he should react. This is the first time he’s been in a situation like this.” _

 

_ Yuuri furrowed his brow, unsure what Chris had meant. The first time being with an Alpha? The first time waking up in an Alpha’s home? Him being drunk and an Alpha taking him in? Yuuri’s confusion must have been clear on his face, as Chris let out a shaky sigh. _

 

_ Chris chewed his lips for a moment, then began slowly, “Viktor...isn’t used to having an Alpha treat him like a human and not an object.” Chris’ voice hardened as he spoke and the pain his friend had suffered twisted his expression.  Practically growling he concluded, “Alpha’s thinking they can just...touch him, use him, then have the nerve to toss him around like some child’s play thing.” _

 

_ “Chrissie,” the Alpha warns his mate in a hushed tone, only causing the Omega to glare at the other. Yuuri blinked his eyes slowly trying to register what Chris had just said.  _

 

_ Oh. _

 

_ Oh... _

 

_ “I...” Yuuri didn’t know what he wanted to say but words came out faster than his thinking process. “I would never do something like that to him.” _

 

_ Chris sighs, “I’ve said too much…” _

 

_ “I would never hurt him,” Yuuri’s voice came of small but grew with aggression and a wave of possessiveness came abruptly because, god, he was so stupid. “I don’t want anyone hurting him, I don’t want anyone even looking at him, and I most certainly don’t want anyone else to have him!” _

 

_ He looked up at Chris with beat red eyes, his hands balled into tight fists in his lap. Somewhere deep within him words repeated, growing louder.  He kept them in, never letting them slip out, but it was plain to the two other men at the table. He’s mine. _

 

_ Chris raised both his eyebrows, sitting up straight, fluttering his long lashed in shock before he cocks an eyebrow towards his mate. “Sounds familiar to you,” he spoke in a teasing tone, making his mate smile and Yuuri was lost again. _

 

_ “You’re warning us as if you’re planning to court him.” Luis mumbles, leaning back in his chair to fold his arms. _

 

_ Yuuri’s face blazed red in a blush.  “I’m not courting him,” Yuuri defended himself, the words stuttering out as he stared over at the Alpha male. _

 

_ Luis smiled, something in that smile told Yuuri the man wasn’t so sure about his statement.  “You may not be courting him but the Alpha in you is acting too fast for you to grasp an understanding what you’re feeling. It’s instincts, or if you’d prefer the cliche, you’re following what your heart wants.” _

 

_ Yuuri’s eyebrows knitted together, still not understanding. With his ex, he just hooked up with him, but there wasn’t much emotion in what they had. Yuuri was protective of him, cared for him, and but he never pissed when others looked at him.  In fact they were very independent of each other, more casual lovers than partners. _

 

_ With Viktor, Yuuri felt something stronger in him rile up. _

 

_ “Your level of possiviness really indicates that you want him as your mate, not merely as someone to satisfy your Alpha needs, which is unfortunately where most Omega / Alpha relationships end up.” A tall blonde lady comes to the table to pass the bill and Luis reaches it before Chris could. “But Yuuri, I understand how you feel.  When you find that mate, and finally have a mate,” he turned his eyes to Chris, locking them on the hazel green, “you want to  _ **_kill_ ** _ whoever approaches them, you find yourself growling at anyone who would sway even a small peak of interest.”  Luis’ voice was so gentle and careless. He spoke with such ease, shrugging his shoulders, as if the urge to kill someone over their mate was so very natural. _

 

_ “When the Alpha in him comes out, my Omega purrs!” Chris smiles and rubs small circles on his husband’s back. “He has never killed anyone, there have been extreme cases where an Alpha has but overall,  they would do some kind of damage to the other if it involves their mate.” _

 

_ Yuuri sat quietly for a moment.  Mate...Viktor, the man of his fantasy becoming his mate...his lover.  The thought had Yuuri freeze up, a blush high on his cheeks and the married couple across from him chuckled when they saw Yuuri has finally piecing everything together.  _

 

_ “I-I can’t be Viktor’s mate. He’ll never want to talk to me, I hurt him.” Yuuri chokes on his own voice. _

 

_ Chris reached across the table to hold Yuuri’s hands.  “Let things simmer down and give Viktor a little time to think properly. He’s hard headed, very conservative, but knowing Viktor, I know he would love to accept you as a mate.” _

 

_ Yuuri allowed a small blossom of hope to nest in his chest.  “What if I’m not compatible with him or if he pushes me away?” _

 

**_What if I’m not good enough?_ **

 

_ “Oh he’s going to push you away a lot…” Chris huffs a small laugh. “But compatible? With the way the two of you stare at each other when you think no one else notices, I’m sure he’ll accept you. Just give him time.” Chris tightens his grip around Yuuri’s hands. “Viktor needs time, patience, and someone he can slowly open himself up to. He needs someone who won’t rush him and is willing to go at his pace, as selfish as that sounds, but going with a pace that isn’t his own will cause him to break.” _

 

_ Yuuri didn’t know what to say, his hands shook and his heart beat rapidly. Chris released Yuuri’s hands, flattening his palms on the table in front of him. “I just want Viktor to be happy and I know, I know for a fact, you can give him the happiness he’s been wishing for since he was young.” _

 

_ ~~~~~~~ _

 

The scent stuck to everything in Yuuri’s apartment. No matter how hard he cleaned, the scent lemongrass and honey mixed with the spike of arousal, and clung to every inch of his small new home. It ignited Yuuri’s senses as if testing his second gender to see if he would fall into a temp rut but Yuuri pushed the feeling away as hard as he could.

 

However, he couldn’t hide from the delicious aroma. It was neither repulsive nor sickening, in fact it was the complete opposite. It was intoxicating.  Yuuri felt dizzy with it, unable to focus, wanting to drown in it. Once Viktor left, Yuuri stepped into his living room and almost fell to his knees under the sway of the pheromones left swimming in his apartment. The aroma clung to everything, every surface, every corner, but mainly the source came from his bedroom. On shaking legs he carried himself to the bedroom, following the delicious scent as if it were calling him.  The soiled sheets and comforter practically erupted with Viktor’s scent and in that moment Yuuri gave in, burying himself in them, holding it close to him, inhaling the intoxicating smell. Then the bittersweet moment hit him, this would be as close as he would ever get to him. To Viktor.

 

Yuuri threw everything away rather than give into temptation. He’d rather freeze at night than fall into a painful rut. He ended up throwing damn near everything away and scrubbing anything of cloth in bulks to help wash the smell out, but it wasn’t enough. No matter how much he drowned his laundry with scent blocking detergent, his nose always picked up the slightest scent.  He would sit, thinking his tasks done, then slowly, like a song from another room the scent would catch in his nose, causing him to growl and salivate.

 

Yuuri pulled the last basket of laundry from his bathroom, feeling the exhaustion fall over him. He dropped the basket on top of his dryer in frustration, a heavy sigh passing his lips. He paced the small laundry room, running his hand through his hair in a fruitless attempt to calm himself but the longer he paced, the heavier he felt himself grow in his sweatpants.

 

_ I hate this.  _

 

Yuuri stared at the pile of clothes for what he felt was an eternity, willing his mind and body into autopilot. Something in that basket was clawing at him, calling out at him, as if the Omega were under the pile, waiting for him.  In frustration, he dumped the basket on the washer and dug to find only a sweater Viktor had left behind, and not the man himself, driving him insane. A growl rumbled deep within his chest and his heartbeat picked up as he pressed the fabric to cover his entire nose.

 

A long inhale, letting the sweet, soft smell roll through his nose, caused an electric shock to run down his spine straight to his groin. The rumbling in his chest traveled towards the pit of his stomach turning into a rough, guttural moan.

 

_ I hate this… _

 

Yuuri felt his control slip through his fingertips as his hands slid under the waistband of his sweats, feeling the heat rising his in body from something he’d been trying to avoid. Working on their own, his fingers gently wrapped around his cock, which glossed with precum, and an intense shudder rips through his body. 

 

His sweatpants slowly fell off his waist and Yuuri abandoned them to get a better grip on himself. For a quick second he hesitated to move his fist, tightening it to stop his movement because he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation.

 

His body burned with both the intensity of desire, and the fury of shame.  He died a little, thinking of getting off to someone who will never be closer than arm's reach but Yuuri  _ needed  _ it. His body shook, wanting to feel the pleasure of the other with him.

 

_ I hate this.  _

 

Yuuri folded his left arm on top of the pile of clothes covering the washer and rested his forehead there to hide his shame.  However the scent of Viktor was all the stronger. His eyes flew open to see an article of clothing he knew wasn’t his. He grabbed Viktor’s abandoned sweater as well as one of his own shirts, inhaling the sweet and vibrant way the two scents mingled and complemented each other.  Without thought he began thrusting into his fist, half of the motion involuntary.

 

Yuuri whined at the sensation, moaning into the fabrics as he flicked his wrist faster. Each inhale heightened his arousal and his mind told him to slow down, enjoy the pleasure he was giving himself. But Yuuri wanted get it over with, knowing how disgusted he would be with himself after this part of him was lost in lust and his head felt like cotton.

 

Yuuri stood straight, holding Viktor’s turtleneck close to his chest, cradling some of it on his neck allowing the softness to brush against his scent glace. He didn’t notice that his stokes had become slow, teasing his pleasure, bringing him closer to release.  He wasn’t sure what was more tantalizing, the motion of his hand, or the damn turtleneck. 

 

He moaned softly into the fabric, tasting some of it on his tongue.  Even the turtleneck was teasing him, reminding him that was all he would enjoy until the scent wears out, no longer being able to feel such joy and pleasure. 

 

Yuuri started to thumb at the head of his cock, tilting his head back as he mindlessly moaned out, “Ah, Viktor…” before he’s kissing dumbly at one of the sleeves of the turtleneck. A heavy cloud drops around him, his hips thrusting into his fist faster, embracing Viktor’s clothing, wishing it were the man himself he was holding. 

 

That was the part that had it’s tightest grip on Yuuri.  He was holding Viktor, not fantasizing of how good Viktor’s body would feel wrapped around his, but of the domestic bliss he could have with him. Yuuri’s mind, even in this heated moment, was focused on how much pleasure just having Viktor in his life would fulfill him and how much he wanted to ensure Viktor felt nothing but happiness with him.

 

Yuuri wanted nothing more than to hold the man in his sleep, kiss him gently, and run his fingers through those silver locks. He wanted to spoil him, keeping Viktor to himself.  He wanted to see the man smile and laugh, unabashed not holding anything back. He wanted to hear him giggle again like that night, but without that hidden pain behind it Yuuri had heard. And above all of it, he wanted to call Viktor his and no one else’s.

 

_ Mine. _

_ He’s mine. _

_ My mate. _

 

Yuuri choked out a muffled moan, rolling his hips to match the speed of his hand. When he felt a small bulge at the base of his cock, tears prick out the corner of his eyes and he gurgled out a painful, “F-fuck.” 

 

It was all Yuuri could say.  He never felt this high in his past relationships and this was the first time his knot bubbled without an Omega present.  Wincing, he knew it wouldn’t be long but for however he was going to stay like this it would painful. He gritted his teeth.

 

_ Okay, temp rut it is. _

 

Yuuri wasn’t sure what he had to do but he could feel that he was close. Letting his Alpha take the lead he felt his body relax, swaying into to eroticism of it all.  Flicking his wrist with more speed he took the turtleneck to rub it against his scent glands of his neck and wrists. His mind was gone as he felt his balls draw up and his knot throb.  Whining he contracted his fist tighter to imitate something his knot wanted. He pushed his hips forward and locked a death grip on his knot, rocking all of his body weight on the tips of his toes. His cock brushed against something soft and looking down, he saw Viktor’s turtleneck around himself and the sight made him hiss before he moaned loudly with his release.

 

The blessed turtleneck absorbed each of the white ribbons. As one hand held onto his knot he brought the soiled clothing to his nose to inhale it, burning the smell through his nose.

 

_ I’m marking. _

 

Without Viktor present, Yuuri was still under the control of the man’s pheromones, and had marked the shirt.  Had Viktor been present Yuuri would have claimed him, and, god, the smell of it only made Yuuri hard again, within seconds of his orgasm.

 

Yuuri groaned and in frustration, he kicked the front of the washer.  Tonight was going to be a long night as he falls, head first, into a temptation rut.

 

~~~~~~~

 

The next morning broke, finding Yuuri exhausted. He had been able to finally doze off an hour before the alarm clock sounded.  As much as he wanted to call out sick, he had to get up and have everything set for his students. He was grateful his rut hadn’t gone into full affect, the shameful things he did were forced into only 10 hours, not 24.

 

It frustrated him, though he is an Alpha, that he doesn’t completely understand how his body works. Yuuri had been in two relationships in his life, even sharing heats with both of them.  However, he was still left confused about his own body.

 

He doesn’t know how long his actual rut would last. All his previous ruts were false starts or with his partner, and those were 24 hours without a bond.  But would they be longer if he were with a bonded Omega? Shorter? He really didn’t know.

 

Yuuri rubbed the side of his neck, fingers stroking over his scent gland, which still held the smell of Viktor softly.

 

It wasn’t strong but even after scrubbing it was still noticeable.  However, the clock in the bathroom reminded him of the time, and he only hoped no one would pick up the subtle scent.  Yuuri was worried to enter the school with the smell of Viktor on him. Teachers would whisper and their eyes would follow him around the school. Rumors would start and Viktor would grow to hate Yuuri, pushing the silver haired beauty further away. 

 

Yuuri burned with self-hate.  He was so stupid for rubbing his sweater all over himself as if he has already claimed the man. What can he say if someone notices the aroma and asks?

 

His mind immediately began creating scenarios, each worse than the next.  Yuuri admits they they are not a couple. The school assumes that they were fucking around. One night stand.  Preschool teacher, Katsuki Yuuri hooks up with Viktor Nikiforov, a teacher he’s been sharing a classroom with for a handful of months.  For himself he could bare the gossip, but he didn’t want a word of it to hurt Viktor.

 

It was a dangerous situation and Yuuri didn’t know how to respond should anyone ask directly. He wasn’t one to speak about relationships at work, and certainly wasn’t his place to talk about what had happened between them. He doesn’t know how Viktor would respond.

 

He walked into the school with his head down and immediately he could feel the eyes of the entire school on him. However, it wasn’t from the students but the teachers. Teachers he never seen before or talked to. He had seen a few in the lounge before, but he taught his classes and didn’t really socialize with th high school teachers sharing the building.

 

“Mr. Katsuki,” the formal voice was heavily accented but he recognized it right away. In front of him stood Chris, his expression sad. Yuuri was immediately worried, as they only spoke when it concerned Viktor. Yuuri had just arrived at the school and already he found himself wishing everything that happened outside of the school wouldn’t get dragged onto school grounds.

 

“Mr. Feltman is asking you to join us in the conference room.” Chris’ eyes flicked over to the office.  Yuuri, who already had wished he called out that day, grimaced remembering that he almost killed a man who taught at this school Yuuri was only sharing with.

 

_ How is this going to play out? Will I lose my job over this? Will Viktor lose his?  Will they believe either of us? They barely know me here, why should they believe me over this man who has taught here for years?  Will Viktor be believed or will they make it out to be his fault? _

 

Yuuri nodded his head and let Chris lead the way. The silence between them was so heavy, he could hear his own feet dragging as dread dragged at his heart. He didn’t want to face this situation, especially on school ground around his students. God knows how Viktor felt about it.

 

“The cops are here, as is Damien,” Chris muttered low, preventing the students passing by from hearing him. Yuuri wished he was better at hiding his facial expressions, because Chris noticed this one. “I’m pissed too but they want to know your side while they try to figure out what they want to do with Damien.”

 

“Why-” Yuuri felt himself wanting to growl but he breathed through his nose and brought his voice down to a low whisper. “Why are the police coming in the picture so late?”

 

Chris chuckled but there was no sound of humour to it. “Being an Omega can be terrible in certain situations. An Alpha encountering an Omega? It’s only natural, right? There’s nothing wrong with an Alpha pushing up on a drunk Omega and taking what they want, right?” Chris laughed again but it sounded painful and Yuuri heart clenched.

 

Yuuri wouldn’t understand because he’s an Alpha male, he doesn’t fully grasp what Omegas go through or what they have to face but he always heard about certain cases at home. Society here was no different from his home in Japan. His heart only drops when he finally understands why Chris was so pissed.

 

Rape or even the attempt is probably seen as the Omega’s fault for  _ seducing _ the Alpha, no charges are filed because the blame would be put on the Omega and the Alpha walks away with, at worst, a slap on the wrists. He knows why Chris was so upset...The Swiss man knew Viktor would get blamed for something that was out of his control.

 

Yuuri grew upset knowing this, he was tempted to rush in and explain the situation for Viktor, but he knew that wasn’t what the older man needed.  He wanted Viktor to have a voice and stand for himself. Yuuri was here as back up, to side with him if the cops asked something outrageous.

 

Arriving at the door, Yuuri adjusted himself, standing up straight, fixing his face.

 

_ Bold. _

 

_ Strong. _

 

He takes a deep breath in, letting it out in a slow push through his lips.  “I’ll protect him.” No other words left Yuuri’s mouth, there was nothing for him to say to Chris who had a smile tug at his lips. Yuuri is always a nervous mess, anxiety floods him damn near 24/7, he’s quiet and shy some days, but he always knew when he had to stand tall.

 

He had to do his job to show Viktor he would make a good mate, he would protect him, stand up for him...Stand with him

 

Yuuri’s train of thought was thrown off when he heard loud barking and violent shuffling behind the door.  His instinct to protect kicked in the snap of a finger. He yanked the door open to witness it all.

 

A slender cop was trying to wrestle with Damien to pin him to the table. Viktor slammed his shattered, but functional phone on the table and stood to run over to the man, only to be held back by Yakov. The room was filled with Damien, who was laughing like a madman, a brown poodle growling, and a video playing on the phone. The audio from the phone was a mixture of loud crying and laughter.

 

“Stop resisting!” The officer screams before he violently shoved the man face first onto the table. He reached for his handcuffs and seconds later the metal snapped onto Damien’s thick wrists. Once the man was in custody the officer followed procedure, removing the Miranda script from his pocket, reading it out loud, “Damien Landbrook, you’re under arrest.  You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court. Do you understand the rights I have read to you?”

 

Damien smirked before he winked at Viktor and it made Yuuri want to jump over the table to snatch the man up in his grasp like he did at the bar but it was Viktor who moved. It was Viktor, who always looked so quiet and to himself, who snapped first.

 

Breaking free of Yakov’s grasp Viktor lunged at Damien, who, like the coward all rapists are, stumbled backwards.  Chris tried to calm him but Viktor’s voice was louder than his actions.

 

“Fuck you!” Viktor screamed, not caring if they were on school ground. Tears flooded his face and he struggled more to reach Damien who only gave off a taunting chuckle as the officer yanked him up straight. “I hope you rot in your cell, you sick piece of shit!”

 

Viktor’s words were venomous and he still was struggling to break from Chris and Yakov’s hold. Yuuri saw it in the man’s blue eyes, the silver haired man wanted to do more than hurt Damien; he wanted to kill him. 

 

“Yuuri, take him in the next room and calm him down, please,” Chris begged the Japanese man. It was clear the silver haired man wasn’t listening to his friend who tried to hush him. Yuuri didn’t hesitate to jump in to take Viktor’s hand in his own, only to be rejected as Viktor yanked his hand away and hissed.

 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” The voice was so harsh Yuuri held his hands up to show he meant no harm. Viktor’s face softened quickly when he realized who it was. “Yuuri?”

 

He wanted to say sorry, Yuuri can see his lips tremble to say an apology but he didn’t need to hear it, he forgave Viktor immediately.  Besides, in Yuuri’s mind Viktor had nothing to be sorry about. Yuuri tried again and reached out to hold Viktor’s hand. “Let's go into the next room, okay? You don’t want your students hearing how upset you are and you need to take a breather, alright? I need you to-”

 

_ Trust me.  _ He was going to ask Viktor to trust him but Viktor was already gripping his hand and pulling him to the next room, leaving them alone. 

 

He slammed the door behind him and watched Viktor slowly fall. 

 

Viktor was hyperventilating and small whines left his lips, trying his hardest not to cry but seeing this hurt Yuuri. It hurts Yuuri because he wasn’t sure if Viktor would let him close to him. But Yuuri didn’t have a choice when Viktor almost dropped on his knees. He caught him, holding the older man cradled in his arms. 

 

For a second he felt Viktor yank away but stop himself, instead relaxing into the embrace. Yuuri’s hands held Viktor up by his forearms, feeling the softness of the sweater he was wearing. It took Yuuri a minute to realize the maroon sweater was his own, making Yuuri’s eyes widen at the fact Viktor was wearing something that smelt so strongly of Yuuri’s natural scent. That alone gave Yuuri permission to touch Viktor, that Viktor needs him.

 

Yuuri brought his hand up to gently cup Viktor’s jaw. His thumb wiped the tears that fell. Yuuri made sure Viktor was steady, seated against the wall, their bodies close, his free hand brushed the silver bangs from his eyes.  The tears kept coming but Yuuri tried to catch all of them. Viktor blinked his eyes up at the ceiling and Yuuri watched his eyes squeeze shut. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to Viktor’s.

 

It was the night he took Viktor in all over again, releasing calming pheromones in the room, trying to get Viktor to at least breathe, come back to Earth. Viktor’s hyperventilating turns to harsh breaths then into a shaky breathing patterning. Yuuri didn’t notice Viktor was so close to him, carding his fingers in his hair, feeling the small gust of wind when Viktor would breathe through his nose. It only made Yuuri pull him closer, combing his own fingers in the silver locks. Viktor flinched and Yuuri was about to pull away but the other just mutters a small no and holds on tighter.

 

They stayed like that for god knows how long, until Viktor wasn’t shaking anymore, until his breathing was back to normal.

 

Yuuri felt himself rubbing his wrist against Viktor’s and he cursed under his breath. He was scenting without asking. Direct contact of scent glands have more of a better effect and he just wanted to calm Viktor as fast as he could.

 

“Sorry,” Yuuri breathes, pulling his hand away but when he heard Viktor gasp at the loss of contact, he looked up to meet his eyes with Viktor’s.

 

“Please keep-,” Viktor blushed and Yuuri would have said it was cute if Viktor wasn’t so sad and broken right now. His eyes shifted away from Yuuri’s in embarrassment. “Keep going?”

 

Yuuri did just that. Watching the blush painting up Viktor’s neck and cheeks.

 

Viktor sniffled and Yuuri noticed the tears were back. He pulled his hands away again to catch them, gently shushing him when he began to hiccup his heavy sobs but it only made Viktor cry harder.

 

“T-thank you.” Viktor choked out. Yuuri shook his head to signal there was no need to thank him. Viktor stood up for himself back there, there was no need. But the way Viktor shook in his hands, he knew he was thanking Yuuri for something else. For taking him in when he was drunk and lending him his sweater and home when he wasn’t able to leave. Yuuri knew everything Viktor was saying thank you for when he turned into a broken record. By the seventh one, Yuuri placed his index finger on Viktor’s rambling lips.

 

The blue eyed man fluttered his silver lashes. Drops of tears stuck on the tip of them. Viktor was only taller than Yuuri by a few inches but he tilt his head up staring at the man in front of him.

 

He felt his lips tremble, giving him the urge to lean forward and kiss such soft lips to ease the shaking he was still having but he couldn’t cross that line. 

 

_ Viktor needs time, patience, someone he can slowly start to open himself up to.  _

 

Okay. 

 

_ He needs someone not to rush him and go at his pace. _

 

Okay…

 

Yuuri held both of Viktor’s hands in his own, bringing them up to his lips to press his own on each palm.

 

_ Going with a pace that isn’t his own will break him. _

 

Yuuri realized he was willing to take as many steps there were to get closer to Viktor. He’s ready to get pushed away a million of times. He’s prepared to go at the pace Viktor is going no matter how long it will drag out.

 

_ It will be worth it.  _

 

Yuuri never wanted to protect someone as much as this beautiful man in front of him.

 

_ Viktor was so, so worth it.  _

 

Yuuri held his lips on the palm of Viktor’s hands with his eyes squeezed shut because...he can do this. 

 

For himself. For his future mate. For Viktor. 

 

He can do this. 

 

He finally builds the confidence to place one of his hands on the side of Viktor’s face, taking in the beautiful features painted there. His eyes wandered for a second before he stroked his tear stained cheek and smiled gingerly at the older man before saying strong and clearly, “I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET FUCKED DAMIEN!!! And hhhOoly shit, Viktor stood up for himself....He trusted Yuuri in a room alone, vIKTOR LET YUURI TOUCH HIM SOBER! BABY STEPS *Cries*
> 
> I know after this chapter we will hit 200 comments! Each chapter gets at least 20 more kudos and as always, I'm grateful~ School is back in session, meaning slloooow updates or updates when I can. BluSkates, bless your soul for taking the time out of your schedule to edit my chapter. You deserve all the love!
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed this update! For those starting school, fighto! To everyone in general, stay golden!   
> (Is anyone watching Banana Fish. My poor heart can't handle this show but if you're twisted like me a love angst, it's a beautiful show. I love Eiji and Ash so much. Dont touch me.)


	14. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After years of being told to be a good Omega, Viktor finally snaps. Love which was given up in the past, finds its way back into Viktor's life.  
> Self worth has be found. Love is rekindled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter as an apology for the super late update. Thanks BluSkates(my beta) for helping a girl out, amazing as always! Enjoy some soft Viktor and Yuuri feelings~  
> Read end notes please!

Rage. 

 

Blinding rage ran thick through Viktor’s veins. He could feel his pulse pounding in his neck, sweat forming on his temples, and his hands clenching, almost as if under their own command.  All of which was fueled by the man who stood in front of him, winking. The video is of Viktor, from that night, drunk, vulnerable. The man, a fellow teacher at the high school received the video as a file from one of Damien’s friends.  Damien, being the piece of garbage that he was, shared it almost immediately upon Viktor’s return to school. This man pulled an idiotic move, thinking it was a joke and decided to show one of the teachers down the hall who also has a thing for Viktor. 

 

But that man, John Banks, found it repulsive. He played it off and thanked the other teacher for showing him he clip but went straight to Mr. Feltman to report him. 

 

Yakov immediately called the district police.

 

Earlier that morning, Viktor wanted to merely forget the incident entirely, and avoid Landbrook wholeheartedly.  He was horrified at making an issue of the event as he wasn’t sure how Damien would spin it to make Viktor look bad.  However, that wasn’t going to happen. Opening his email he found a message from Landbrook with the subject header as “Saved Treasures”. It was a file and, moron that Damien was, he had tried to delete the sent message.  However, Viktor was able to open it easily. Somehow Damien had made the collosal error of storing his files on his shared drive as a teacher, and not his private drive on his phone. The email went out to Viktor as he was listed as the subject to one of the files.   _ Hooray for technology _ . Viktor clicked it open, not even an hour on school grounds as he finds video after videos of Damien and his friends cornering both female and males in closed off spaces. Viktor jumped back in his seat, hands flying to his mouth.  The thumbnails were enough to horrify him. He didn’t open any of them, he didn’t watch any of them, but in the short clips which were played when hovering over the files, he saw at once a glimpse of himself.

 

Using all of his self control he resisted the urge to click the video and watch himself be assaulted. He tried not to get upset or cry while he sat at his desk, organizing things for his first class. He tried but instead each passing minute caused this uncontrollable rage to build inside him.  Viktor set his copies up to hand out that morning. Viktor sharpened a set of pencils down to the ferociously pointed nub. Viktor was using this time to distract himself. Viktor was focusing on work. But none of that was working.

 

Viktor….Viktor was  _ done.  _

 

He was tired. Emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. 

 

_ No more. _

 

_ No more of putting up with this.  No more of taking abuse and hoping it ends.  No more of putting up with Alpha privilege while I try to hide who I am.  I survived twenty-two years of being treated like my own father’s cum towel. Someone’s rag doll, a useless fucking rag doll.  I survived being called a whore, being raped, being abused. I survived. _

 

_ I’m tired. _

 

Viktor was afraid, storming down to Yakov’s office. He flinched at each and everyone of his footsteps ringing against the cheap linoleum of the hall. Makka at his heels, obediently following him and leaning to his leg for comfort.  He wanted to turn back to his class when he noticed a few students in the hall staring at him, concerned. He should turn back around and act like nothing happened. Flash a smile and get them distracted with small talk. He was used to that. It was easier for him to do that.

 

His mind screamed louder and louder as he got closer to Mr. Feltman’s room. He’s called himself disobedient;  he wasn’t acting like a proper Omega. He told himself he shouldn’t go against an Alpha as he is suppose to listen and obey them…

 

But all he could hear is Chris. After so many years, he finally heard Chris telling him that he had a choice.

 

Nothing should be taken from him or nothing should be forced on him either. He has a choice.

 

Viktor then thought of Yuuri.

 

Yuuri, an Alpha male, who gave him a choice from doing something so stupid he would regret it forever or to give Viktor a pure example that not all Alphas were the same.

 

Entering the office Viktor froze, the police has been called already and Yakov asked for more information. They welcomed him in, sat him down.  The video had already been reported, and Viktor opened his email account to show them the links to dozens more, all just like it. Soon the detectives asked Yakov to move them, and they gathered in the conference room after Viktor gave his class lecture notes to a substitute teacher. When Viktor saw the man who cornered him in that stall, bile burned up his throat as he tried to push it back down.

 

The officer asked questions of that night, none were accusatory.  They were concerned with his safety and his well being. They asked about his drink, could he have been drugged.  Was this the first time he was approached and cornered. Would he be willing to press charges and testify. Viktor remembers curling his fingers in Makkachin’s fur to keep him steady, answering all of the questions.  He opened his account to the videos, accidently opening one of the videos on autoplay.

 

As luck would have it, it was of him. 

 

And Viktor watched….

 

He watch the group of guys unscrew the lock to the handicap stall to make their way in and push themselves towards Viktor. Viktor’s phone dropped and he heard it shatter before he recognized his own voice slurring a ‘get out’. 

 

The officer, a woman with a gentle but firm voice, told him to close the video but he couldn’t stop watching. Eyes wide, soaking in the horror the men did to him, Viktor’s wasted body shaky then jolt at the stall slamming causing the phone that was recording to fall on the ground, face down, as all of them left in a hurry. All but Damien.

 

_ Oh, this must have been when Yuuri… _  Victor’s fuzzy memories of that night were still trying to assemble themselves into some form of narrative.

 

As the video kept playing he heard Damien talking to Viktor in a deceptively gentle tone attempting to seduce him.  But there was Viktor’s own voice, telling him no. To get away, to get out.

 

_ Get out! Get out!  _

 

Viktor lets the audio play as something in him finally snaps. Something he kept in control for years because he was told it was his role to do so. Follow the rules, be good, be an Omega...

 

He lets the rage finally pour over, slamming his phone on the table before he reaches towards the man across from him. With his feet moving faster than his own thoughts he didn’t know what he was doing or what he wanted to do _.  _ But something within him yelled to him to finally let his rage take over.

 

He wanted to rip the smug smirk from Damien’s face. He wanted to hurt the man in front of him…

 

_ He wanted to kill him.  _

 

Damien, who represented his father, his ex, all the Alphas who had ever made Omega jokes, put them down, treated them horribly, sat across from him.  Viktor’s rage that had been suppressed for 22 years finally...finally comes lashing out. 

 

He curses and screams and tries his best to claw his nails into Damien’s flesh in this tiny conference room. But the strength of an older Alpha male and an omega hold him back. Viktor fought against the hands, those of the Alpha officer gentle but firm. They weren’t demanding anything from him, in fact they were trying to keep him from doing something that would hurt him or jeopardize the case against Damien.  But Viktor could only feel the burn of Alpha hands on his body, something too familiar to him.

 

_ Please, please let go of me! I know you’re an Alpha but I’m so tired of being used. I’m so tired of being treated like this. _

 

Everything was too loud and moving too quickly. Chris telling him to calm down, the officer trying to control Damien, Makkachin growling, and Viktor’s own mind yelling back at him. The room was chaos, echoing how Viktor felt inside.  Then suddenly something cut through the heavily clouded atmosphere and everything went silent when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

 

There was no sound in the room, Viktor couldn’t even hear his own heartbeat in his eardrums anymore. Silent, as if the air in the room sat still. The only sound he was able to hear was the last of the air sitting at the bottom of his lung pushing out to form one word.

 

_ “ _ Yuuri.”

 

Viktor turned to face him.  The younger man’s lips moved but Viktor heard no words.  However as Yuuri continued to talk Viktor felt his face soften, as the brown eyes warmed him, letting him know he wasn’t alone and didn’t have to fight.

 

It was Yuuri and Viktor felt himself grow weak. The anger that had been threatening to boil over cooled quickly as he felt his adrenaline drop drastically, leaving him cold and trembling. 

 

_ It’s Yuuri.  _

 

_ God, it’s Yuuri.  _

 

_ My safe haven. My Yuuri.  _

 

Viktor couldn’t think anything else as the man pulls him from the room to get them alone. He didn’t think when Yuuri was holding him gently against the wall or how his soft subtle fingers stroked away the streams of waterworks from his cheeks. He didn’t think when he reached out and told Yuuri to scent him longer because the air was light now thanks to him. Yuuri’s mindless lullaby calmed him and Viktor let it rock him into a peaceful state, even with the screaming voice still present that this man might be trying to seduce him.

 

All he could focus on was Yuuri breathing against his cheek, so close to him, invading all his personal space but Viktor welcomed it, let him in. Viktor let Yuuri closer, having the Alpha male cage him so close that he felt like a secured fence. Enough to keep him locked in but not trapped.

 

The amazing wall Alphas build around their mates allowed them to feel safe; it was some every Omega talks about…It was something proving the bond between Alpha and Omega as strong, healthy, and equal. It was something Viktor never dreamed of, something he never even thought he would be able to have. And Viktor was experiencing it for the first time.

 

_ Safe haven. _

 

The sensation was indescribable for either man.  It was like warmth comfort, drowsy love, strength and vulnerability all at once.  Lips touching the palm of his hands were watched with beet-red eyes. Gasping softly when Yuuri kisses his other hand.

 

Two large blue eyes followed the big, brown eyes as they met with his and time froze yet again.

 

His heart tightening, matching Yuuri’s tight squeeze of his hands.  A sob rushes out when Yuuri told Viktor, “I’ve got you.”

 

Viktor would be lying if he said things weren’t awkward once the officer left with Damien in handcuffs. Yakov recommended that he and Yuuri stay in the empty conference room until the next bell rang to avoid the prying eyes of students concerned to see their favorite teacher in distress. Viktor still felt Yuuri rubbing small circles on his wrist and in a small whisper, he told Yuuri to stop.

 

Viktor pulled back, not forcefully...at least, not to Yuuri.  He wasn’t upset with what they were doing, to the contrary, he was enjoying it far too much.  He felt like he was lulling into something dangerous and he refused to have his body respond in such ways while at work. When Yuuri pulls away, it was everything Viktor could do to keep himself from pulling the man back towards him.

 

They rose, putting distance between themselves.  Viktor sat at the table, resting elbows on top and cupping his hands over his face, hiding. Yuuri doesn’t join him but he can hear him shifting his feet to grab the chair by the wall and sit there.

 

They sat there, no words traded and it only made Viktor’s mind run. His mind wanting to switch back to his closed off and overprotective self each passing second.

 

_ Why can’t I just accept things? _

 

“What...what are we going to do?” Viktor muttered, almost to himself because he’s too afraid to face Yuuri.

 

“I told you what I was going to do,” Yuuri whispers back in response.

 

That caused Viktor to finally face him but his old way were getting the best of him. “Yuuri, I smell of you. You’re all over me and visa versa. What are we going to  _ do _ ?”

 

Yuuri frowned at the hiss in Viktor’s voice and he bows his head, an attempt of pity. “I’m sorry, I was trying- I was, I don’t know Viktor. I was trying to help and…” He paused and he can see Yuuri actually tearing himself apart. “It’s repulsive, isn’t it?”

 

“Yuuri,” Viktor tried to get the younger male to stop yanking at his hair with his harsh tone. “I wouldn’t be trying to inhale my wrist if that was the case. I wouldn’t be wearing your sweater. I’m worried about my disgusting scent being on you and what others would say.”

 

He didn’t want to have this conversation right now. Viktor didn’t know what he wanted, what Yuuri wanted, or what Yuuri would be willing to give him. He’s not even sure what he’s willing to give Yuuri. His mind was leaping too far in the future, but somewhere in the back of it he could hear Chris’ voice calling Yuuri his perfect mate.

 

_ Mate. _

 

_ Yuuri as my mate. _

 

Yuuri stopped pulling on his hairs and looked directly at Viktor.  “Lemongrass never smelled so sweet before.”

 

Viktor felt a blush warm his tear stained cheeks.  His heart was doing stupid things and his mouth was following quickly. That was a first. No one has ever told Viktor what he smelled like. He’d been told he smelled nice, like a good Omega should. However, no one has ever given the description of his scent so pure and natural.

 

Yuuri smiled as his emotions settled around him, “As for the others, it’s none of their business. This is our business and how we want to handle things is also our business.”

 

Victor felt a warm thrill rush through his body.   _ Ours…  _

 

“Yuuri, I don’t-” Viktor scratched at the table in front of him, searching for words. For answers. But he was left on a verge of wanting to run out the room and go home. He wants to run from this and act like nothing happened.

 

He wanted to run from Yuuri. Run from the man who did so much for him in the past few days. From the very start when he gave Viktor his email. No one has tried this hard to get so close to Viktor in years. Why would anyone want to be with someone so broken?

 

_ Messy. _

 

_ Closed off. _

 

_ A tease. _

 

_ Someone to pity… _

 

“Hey,” Viktor flinched as Yuuri’s voice drew closer to him. He noticed the young Alpha sitting next to him, head tilted to put him into Viktor’s view. “I’m not asking for an answer now, Viktor.” 

 

Viktor squeezed his eyes shut tight, quickly shaking his head., “But, that’s not fair, Yuuri. I owe you an answer. You did so much for me and for me to give you nothing…” Viktor’s voice died in the back of his throat. He knows Yuuri is a gentlemen but something in his head kept nagging at him he had to give himself to him.

 

An Alpha doing the most for an Omega, it’s clear what he wants in return and Viktor sat there, trying to find ways he can give himself to the Alpha without knocking him back into a traumatic shock. But if he doesn’t give himself to an Alpha, he would get hurt. 

 

_ That’s how this works, right? _

 

Rejecting an Alpha could cause more trouble.

 

“Everything I did was because I wanted to. My actions and my decisions were because it was something I chose to do I had no intention to get something out of you nor hold this against you in order to take something from you.” Yuuri’s voice was strong, confident...safe.

 

Not a threatening tone to be found in his words and it only confused Viktor more. His definition of an Alpha was based on his experiences, all horrific. This new experience was changing his perception but old fears are hard to shake. Yuuri was close to him against, reaching out his hands to hold Viktor but the silver haired man’s eyes caught on something else.

 

A dark purple bruise sat under Yuuri’s jawline with a small cut at the center. It was fading but still noticeable. Viktor being Viktor, let his mind wander, sadness flooded his chest because he remembered the fight. He thought back to how Yuuri took a hit to the jaw just to protect him.

 

And then he took Viktor to his home to protect him.

 

He watched over Viktor, gave him everything he needed for his heat, made sure he was safe because he was protecting him.

 

_ My safe haven. _

 

It was Viktor who was now touching Yuuri. Hands cupping Yuuri’s cheeks, his thumb gently stroking over the bruise. He fought the urge to lean forward and kiss the nasty mark under his jaw. He doesn’t know who moves but they’re drew even closer. Blue eyes shifting to see plush lips separated slightly.

 

“You do not owe me anything.” Yuuri whispers. 

 

Viktor’s heart was doing flips, stuttering before it beat twice as fast. The next thought to flicker in his head frighten him.

 

_ I want to kiss him… _

 

It had nothing to do with repayment for protection or kindness.  It had nothing to do with owning Yuuri anything. It was selfish. Viktor wanted to feel those lips pressed against his. It was a genuine thought, and that’s what made it scary. He gave up on love years ago.

 

Mindlessly, his thumb move off Yuuri’s jaw onto the bottom of the younger’s lips.

 

This was stupid. What he’s feeling is stupid and confusing and he hates it. God, he hates it. Conflicting with his past telling him to reject all he’s feeling while the other part of him that’s trying to fix himself is pushing him. 

 

**_Love is a strong word, Viktor. What you’re feeling is because he’s been nice to you. It’s a trap and you’re an idiot if you fall for it._ **

 

_ He cares for you.. Several times, he could have took advantage of you but he didn’t. _

 

**_Do you really think you could be happy with someone? An Alpha being nice to you, are you insane?! Ha! Ragdoll, useable, disposable._ **

 

_ I like him.  _

 

**_You enjoy his kindness, that means nothing._ **

 

_ I like him. Let me have this.  _

 

**_He’ll hurt you._ **

 

_ Please let me have this. _

 

**_You’ll never recover._ **

 

_ Let me try again. Let me try.  _

 

The door to the conference room swung open, disturbing the silence of the two. Viktor snatched his hands away from Yuuri and pushed back, creating distance between them once again.  He immediately missed not being able to hear Yuuri’s shaky exhales so close to him and the warmth of the other body. His fingertips felt cold due to the lack of contact from Yuuri’s burning cheeks. He averted his eyes from the face that he had been concentrating on dutifully as he became bashful.

 

He can hear that it was Chris thanking Yuuri for being with Viktor. He told Yuuri the cops wanted to ask him more questions and would need his side in court next week or so. Viktor began to zone everything out, trying to compose himself and process what he just did. 

 

Twenty eight years old and his emotions were everywhere as if he was a teenager.

 

Warm. For the first time his cold hands felt warm. A bubbly feeling vibrated through his entire body as his lips to tugged upwards. When he felt himself smiling, he covered his face, once again embarrassed.

 

A piece of paper slid in front of him on wooden table. The hand that had been emissary moved back, revealing that it was a phone number. He blinked his eyes up to stare at Yuuri, confused. 

 

“I have to go talk to the cops in the other room,” Yuuri whispers like they were the only ones in the room, but he can see Chris standing by the door watching them. “I want to make sure you’re okay before I go.”

 

Viktor blushed, staring back at the torn piece of paper as it sinks in. “Your phone number?”

 

Yuuri leans his upper half to be closer to Viktor, still softly spoken. “I’m terrible checking my email,” Yuuri chuckles for a second before his whole demeanor changes. “You call me whenever you need me and I won’t hesitate to answer. If you need anything, you call.”

 

Viktor felt a sense of floating through his whole body, “Yuuri…” He tried to push the paper away, the offer, the promise that it represented was too good for him.

 

Yuuri shook his head, “I have a few people who I wouldn’t hesitate to protect and right now, you’re my top priority.”  He put his hand on Viktor’s pushing it with the paper back towards the silver haired man. “It will remain that way until you push me away. Just say the word.”

 

Viktor’s entire body went stiff.  He felt himself ready to reply, but Yuuri’s hands were holding Viktor’s, making the older man weak, tightening his grip to make him stronger. 

 

_ Hold me longer...I want your fingers scratching at my scalp again. Let my fingers tangle in your black locks. I want you closer, Yuuri. I want your warmth.  _

 

If he wasn’t blushing before, he was sure his face was flushed now. Once again, his thoughts shifted and shocked him. Years of rejecting human contact from another who he hasn’t given his full trust into. 

 

W _ ho is Yuuri Katsuki? What worth does he see in me? Is it a sly trick to get him to gain my trust or does he really see me as myself, not my secondary gender? What does he want? What do I have to give him.  What do I want to give him?  _

 

“You don’t have to give me an answer now, you don’t have to do anything, but just know I’m a text away for you to tell me what you want to do.”

 

“Katsuki,” an officer at the door calls for Yuuri. The ink haired man doesn’t let go of Viktor’s hands immediately but instead squeezed them one last time before he does. Viktor is left with cold hands again and it saddens him. He glanced down at the paper before folding into a tiny square. Unsure to put the number in his phone or tossing it, he settled for halfway between the two and put it in his pocket.

 

_ What I want to do? _

 

Yuuri’s words took him off guard yet again, leaving him leaning back in his chair to process everything because, goodness, has it been a long day and it’s not even noon yet.

 

He felt a head bump at his calf followed by a stressed whine. Makkachin had been there the whole time.  The loving poodle had let the dark haired man care for his human, but now that the warmth of him was gone from the room the dog could sense the turmoil return to Viktor.  Worried for his owner she bumped her head over and over against his leg before standing on her hind legs to whine against his chest.

 

“I’m okay, girl. Thank you,” Viktor soothed, ruffling her floppy ears before twirling his fingers in her fur to help him relax.

 

“Vitya,” a voice brought him back from sinking further into his own mind. The Swiss man made his way over to sit next to the silver haired man. He knew what Chris wanted to say but his eyes watered and he was worried if he made Chris talk first, he would break down. And Chris crying in front of Viktor was always rare. 

 

“I’m friends with a fierce Omega. I guess the rage rubbed off on me,” he joked. It was suppose to make Chris laugh but instead he lets out a sad scoff, grabbing Viktor in an embrace. 

 

“You stood up for yourself and I’m...so so proud of you”

 

“Don’t cry because I’ll cry and I’m pretty sure my tear ducts hate me after these past few days.”

 

“Sorry, hormones.”

 

Viktor was about to ask if it was his heat but he watched Chris cringe at himself and quickly went back to talking to his friend.

 

“Anyways, I never knew you could be an terrifying tiger after today. We’ll, when you yelled at me at your house, that was intense, but this?” Chris pulled up a chair to sit next to him. 

 

Viktor chuckled ironically. “I’m tired. I wasn’t going to sit there and let someone use me. Not again. Having him in front of me, I would have regretted it if I did nothing. I did nothing about my father, my mother took care of it. I did nothing about Alec, you took care of that. So who was going to take care of Damien? Yuuri?” Viktor rubbed his warm face, sniffling still trying to calm himself down.  “He’s done too much for me and it was time for me to speak up. After so many years of muting out everything you’ve told me, it finally sinked it. I have a choice, Chris… I’m no one’s sex toy and I have a voice. And Yuuri just now gave me a choice.”

 

“Damn straight you do. Took you years to understand that, but you’re learning and pushing yourself at a good pace to heal and Yuuri?” Viktor flinched at the name and the teasing tone in Chris’ voice. “I should feel more special, I had his number before you.”

 

Viktor stared blankly at the table before he turned to Chris next to him. “Chris, what am I going to do?”

 

It sank in, finally. The realization of his own feeling going haywire, feeling attached to an Alpha male he barely knew. If he really didn’t want this, he could be selfish and delete Yuuri out his life, he doesn’t have to worry about what he’s feeling. Ignore and forget and he’s sure Yuuri would accept his choices. But Viktor couldn’t do that. He didn’t have it in him. And he most certainly didn’t want it.

 

_ I need him. _

 

Viktor caught Chris’ reaction in time to witness his eyebrows jump up in shock.

 

“Did Viktor Nikiforov just say he needed an Alpha?”

 

Viktor jumped to his feet, startled that he had said his thoughts out loud, and began to pace around the room, shaking his head, mumbling to himself.

 

“No, no, no, this is temporary. I don’t know him. He’s an Alpha.”

 

“Don’t do that,” Chris begs.

 

“I’ll never be good enough. I’m a tease..” He thought back to when Alec told him that. Viktor then found himself in a loop of self loathing, talking to himself still and not paying attention to his friend until he felt hands on his shoulders to stop his pacing.

 

“What did I tell you before?” Viktor shook his head, only to have Chris lean down to tilt his head into Viktor’s view. “Why don’t you believe you deserve to be happy, hun? You deserve the world and it’s out there for you to take, out there for you to touch. Who’s to say that world isn’t Yuuri?”

 

“He’ll hurt me,” Viktor’s trauma spoke. He knew Yuuri would never harm him. But he also knew that all the Alphas in his past had not hesitated to take what they wanted.  And Yuuri was an Alpha. It’s a possibility. His hands shook and he felt himself breathing in a messy pattern.

 

“That man could have hurt you several times, he could have taken advantage of you if he wanted, use you. Hurt you, break you more, but what did he do, Viktor?”

 

Viktor began shaking while Chris held him, “I know! I know what he has done but that doesn't mean I understand! Why isn’t it clicking? Why can’t I see someone ever loving  _ me?! _ ”

 

Chris brought Viktor into the crook of his neck as soft sobs left him. “Sweetie, you’re fighting against yourself too hard. You know what you’re feeling but you’re rejecting it. Don’t fight it, fly with it.”

 

“But what if I can never fly,” Viktor sniffles. He sounded so small and hopeless when his words shook. 

 

“Then Yuuri will provide you the wings to be able to touch the clouds you’ve been wanting to touch for years. You don’t have to be grounded anymore but you have to understand and trust him. Your worst nightmare has become a wanted dream.” Viktor inhaled sharply at the sentence. Chris pulls Viktor back and he caress his flushed cheeks. “Stop fighting yourself. Trust your omega instincts. Trust your feelings because I know damn well what you’re feeling is completely different from what you felt with Alec.” 

 

Chris tilted Viktor’s chin to have his head standing tall. “A beautiful, Omega male who doesn’t take shit from anyone and a man who’s learning to let his self worth grow. You have come a long way, so why throw away your chance to feel happiness when it’s in front of you? Take it.” 

 

Viktor’s lips trembled. Makkachin made her way next to his legs. He could feel the piece of paper with Yuuri’s number on it burning in his pocket . Unlike the previous times Chris has gave him encouraging talks, this one stuck. It didn’t go in one ear then out the other. 

 

“How?” 

“Well, dates are a thing.” Chris laughed when he watch Viktor cringe at his suggestion, making Viktor pout. “From what I saw and heard, he’s willing to wait on an answer from you but he’s determined to keep an eye on you. Mate or not, he’s very protective of you.”

 

“Why?” It was a broad question. Why did Yuuri want to protect him? Why did he find interest in Viktor of all people? Why was he willing to wait on an answer?

 

“You haven’t been with a real Alpha before. When an Alpha dedicates themselves to protect an Omega, they’ve accepted that this is the person they are willing to give their life to. Luis told me the first time he saw me, he told the Alpha in him that I was the one. Yuuri’s doing the same thing with you.”

 

“Why would someone be willing to give their life to someone they barely know?” Viktor sighs, sitting back down in his seat. He dug into his pocket to pull out the paper Yuuri wrote his number on. He stroked the dry ink, staring at it as if it were a figment of his imagination. The real question was why would Yuuri be willing to give his life to someone he barely knows. Viktor wasn’t sure what he could give the Alpha man but he knew he craved the Alpha’s company, his attention, his warm brown eyes looking at him like he was a fragile and most beautiful flower in the world. It had him thinking,  _ am I looking at him with such awe as well? Do I look at him how he looks at me? Do my eyes sparkle like his when they fall on his face? _

 

He wasn’t sure how long he was in his head but he snapped out of it when he heard Chris’ signature teasing laugh. “Oh hun, if you’re fading out like that, you’ve got it bad. Love makes you do crazy things, and this is just the beginning.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be a year long sometime in November, that's insane. WE DID IT YALL! We passed the meeting phase! Time for phase two, the planning of small dates! Fighto Vicchan! FIGHT! Also, when I first did this story, I called it Awake after the BTS song that Jin did and was listening to it during the other half of this chapter. I was bawling. 
> 
> I am terribly sorry for the late updates as personal issues came up with family, school which involve essays that varies from 4 pages to 10. I got to go out and shoot for a documentary so that was cool! Long story short, I'm a busy busy girl who graduates college in Spring. So internships and jobs, I lack time. I rather updates to be sloooww than drop this story! Hope yall understand. I miss you all! 
> 
> Leave comments and kudos. I appreciate each and everyone of you for still reading and supporting me, words aren't enough to express how thankful I am. 
> 
> As always, stay golden. Happy Saturday and have a safe Halloweenie!


	15. Risk Taker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor comes out to his students before rumors spread and takes a huge step to ask Yuuri a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder that this story is mainly focused on Viktor's self growth. After 15 chapters in, we're entering Viktor's dating journey. Exploring emotions as well as sexual encounters and communicating with Yuuri. I have so many great ideal for this story, I'm so excited! 
> 
> Short chapter compared to the others but enjoy the update!

Over the past few days Viktor wouldn’t necessarily say he had been avoiding Yuuri, but he felt like he was. However, the young Alpha never once cornered him, forcing him to explain himself nor questioning him. In fact, Yuuri seemed to have pulled back, giving Viktor his space to process what he was feeling without pressure.  When they saw each other, they would exchange a hello, but nothing more. Yuuri would meet with his young children after Viktor’s teens had gone off to their next class. The two men would smile politely, nodding their acknowledgments, but then quickly transition to work. Awkward eye contact for one second before one or the other would shy away and go the other direction. 

 

Yuuri’s phone number still sat on that torn piece of paper, which he kept in his school desk, not yet put in to his phone. It had been two days since the police came to school, two days since Yuuri gave him his number, two days since Yuuri held him. 

 

Viktor shuddered with a sudden warmth flooding his body as he remembered how good he felt in Yuuri’s embrace.  It was warm, friendly, and confident. There was nothing threatening or domineering, but Yuuri had made it clear that he wanted to protect Viktor by holding him close.  Viktor felt his cheeks burn with a blush when he heard Chris’ voice telling him about him asking Yuuri on a date. The memory of Chris’ pep-talk still embarrassed him. He wasn’t sure what he felt, and he knew he wasn’t ready to communicate any of it to Yuuri.  

 

He sat in his classroom, enjoying a few moments of quiet in a busy day.  He always opened his class for his students to stop and talk to him during freetimes or after school if they ever needed him. After his long break from school he had a lot of students to reach out to. Letters and gifts littered his desk, all tokens of how fondly the students thought of him.  It had taken him hours to read all of them yesterday.

 

After everything that happen in that one day, he went home with a hefty stack of letters that were a cry of help. He read them with Makkachin next to him, feeling like he failed his students. Some were struggling to know to how control themselves, many of them were not able to accept who they are.  But these letters were from those who thanked him for teaching them to accept themselves no matter how tough times were.

 

He felt like a hypocrite and that hurt Viktor the most. He hadn’t been able to accept himself for so many years, however he would tell his young students to do so.  He had hoped they wouldn’t grow up insecure like he had. 

 

But now his second gender was out; he was sure his students could tell and he worried they would be upset with him for lying to them. 

 

His thoughts were knocked off when he heard someone open the door to his classroom. It was past lunchtime and his next class wouldn’t come in for another 30 minutes. The door slowly revealed one of his student from his first block.  Carmen, a senior girl with short black hair and big green eyes who sat in front of his desk. She was an Omega girl who gave him a letter about her struggles, saying she was finally openly accepting who she was. But those normally cheerful and curious eyes looked different today.  She walked slowly to her desk, sitting in front of him with big, sad eyes.

 

She sat silently for a moment, the room was quiet and the hallway beyond the door was still.  Viktor sat awkwardly waiting for Carmen to begin but when it became apparent he started to talk, only to be cut off by her question.

 

“Why did you hide yourself?”  Her eyes were locked on her hands, fingers laced together in front of her.  “Weren’t you the one who always told us to accept who we are? Was that all bullshit?  Are Omega’s something to be ashamed of?”

 

Her words weren’t angry, they were filled with hurt.  Shy eyes refused to creep up to look at Viktor, something he was infinitely thankful for as he didn’t want the girl to see him hurt by her words.

 

He sucked in a breath and quickly let it out in his response, “No, of course not.”  He didn’t know what he wanted to say, what was right to say, how to explain himself without giving the young girl a brief summary of his graphic life.  And he would never do that, he couldn’t traumatize this girl.

 

He spoke softly, trying to reach her with his voice, “How old are you, Carmen?” 

 

“17…”  She shifted in the desk, but still kept her eyes locked on her hands.

 

“And you gave me a letter saying you’d accepted the Omega part of you.” Viktor said in a bittersweet voice, hoping this would change the topic. The voice was as fake as his smile. “I’m so proud to hear-”

 

“It doesn’t mean I fully accept it, “she saddens. Carmen finally looked up and Viktor was knocked breathless at the tears coming from the red eyes.  “I understand that part of myself more, but I’m not fully embracing it. And I didn’t ever think I could, until I met you. I’m trying to because I want to be as strong as you always seemed. I, and so many other kids here, wanted to be strong as  _ Mr. Nikiforov  _ but when you came back to school, you were so different.”  She paused, the students didn’t know much about what had happened, just that a creepy teacher, Damien, had been taken away by the cops, and that Viktor was taking the day off.  “You came back as an Omega, open about who you were, and I felt happy because you’re the same as me but then I realized that you had hidden it for so long, and I felt sad that you would hide that from us. From the other Omegas, students who are struggling and needed someone like you to look up to.” Her voice gave out and she broke into streaming tears.  Viktor felt himself dying inside, her tears ripping him to shreds. Her small hands palming away the waterworks and Viktor stood up, crossing to her he pulled a chair next to her to rub her back.

 

“I am in the same boat as you, Carmen. You’re 17 and just learning about a huge part of yourself and learning to becoming one with it. I am proud of you for that start but it’s a learning experience and it’s different for all of us. It took me years to accept myself, years.”

 

“When did you finally accept yourself?  How long did it take you to be okay with every part of you?” She looked up at Viktor, he could tell she needed and deserved the truth.  There would be no lie.

 

“I’m...just now learning how to do that…”  He saw her face begin to crumble and he took her hand in his, “I didn’t mean for the things I said to be lies or hypocritical. But I wanted my students to grow up strong, and unafraid…”  He looked at her eyes, slowly filling with understanding, “and not be like me. I want you, and the others to learn about and embrace that part of you at a young age, before you enter the world blind and unknowing. What kind of teacher would I be if I have my students leave uneducated?” Viktor knew he had to shield her from his childhood but he felt he owed her something. Taking a deep breath, he told her a small portion of his past.

 

“Some kids grew up not knowing about their secondary gender, they grow up lost and confuse, thinking they’re something they’re not.  I was one of those kids. When my test results came back I never learned them, I was never taught what it meant to be an Omega, what would happen to my body, how it would change or feel, and it was scary. I was told to be the stereotypical Omega. It...put a lot of stress on finding who I really am and after years, I am finally trying my best to embrace that side of me that I’ve felt like I had to hide and protect from others.”

 

Carmen eyes went wide and Viktor felt emotional after spilling to one of his students like that. He never shared that with anyone other than Chris, so why was he talking to one of his students like she was close to him?

 

But he knew the answer by looking at her.  He saw himself in her; lost, confused and once finally finding yourself, you’re twice as lost as you were before because it’s a new experience.

 

She sat for a few minutes, the tears stopped, but she still looked sad.  Viktor let her grapple with her emotions, working through what she learned and how she felt.  When he felt she was ready to her more he continued. “When I told you that I was proud of you, it is because I  _ am _ . I am a 28 year old man just now learning to grasp an understanding of my second nature and for you to find out at 17 is an achievement.”  He smiled, “I should be jealous that you are making much larger strides than I have.”

 

She chuckled lightly at his self deprecating humor, “I’m sorry.  You didn’t have to tell me all of that, but I appreciate it. I’m sorry for intruding on your personal life.”

 

“Carmen, I’m telling you this because I want you to understand where I’m coming from and to learn from my mistakes.” He sighed, tilting his head to meet the other’s gaze. She blinked a few times to get the tears off her eyelashes, then nodded. “I wanted to make sure you were okay and to rebuilt that trust you and others had in me to come talk. About anything.”

 

Conversations like that happen throughout the entire day up until Friday. He was confronted by many more students, some angry, most just hurt that he had lied, but he pointed out it was for personal reasons.  He was Russian by birth, and they had grown up American. Culturally, it couldn’t be more different for a male Omega. Here in America, it was rare for someone to  _ not _ state their secondary gender. It was their status, it gave them power, it gave them where they stand in society. It helped them understand their relationships with others, and to find people whom they wanted to associate with.  Russian Omegas had to hide their status, specifically males. His students couldn’t understand that and that kind of society that supported the brutal behavior that Omegas were subject to.

 

The majority of his students listened, some were upset, none had truly lost respect for him, but Viktor knew he would have to work hard to regain the trust they had in him. It was the same with his fellow teachers but he couldn’t care less as his main priority was his students. He did have to express his gratitude to Mr.Banks for reporting Damien.  However, Viktor was stunned into silence when the nice but shy teacher shrugged off his thanks saying, “we Omegas have to stick together.” Viktor’s mouth fell open and turned to a smile as the meager math teacher walked away.  _ Perhaps I have more friends than I thought. _

 

The rest of the week was emotionally draining and by Friday evening Viktor was still at his desk, with Makkachin laying next to his feet. Viktor was exhausted, but proud of himself for coming clean about himself and his own fears.  It felt good to know that he controlled the information instead of other spreading gossip. He could breathe a little but his anxiety builds at the thought of how many people will be trying to watch him as if he’s some kind of prey.

 

If Damien had an eye on Viktor, he was sure there were others. Viktor never really paid attention to the other teachers he worked. He went to work, taught diligently through the day, took care of his students after classes and went home. He would never have noticed who stared at him but now with his scent out, he was certain Alpha teachers would try to talk to him unlike they’ve done before.  He had noticed several members of the staff going out of their way to say good morning or ask him to join them for drinks after work. He turned them down graciously, but noticed their scents sour at his decline. That worried him a great deal.

 

No one ever falls in love with people, they fall for their status. If the other teachers had seen Viktor as a beta like they had for so many years, they would continue to ignore him.  No one was interested in a beta, except for other betas. However, now his scent and status attracted the unwanted attention of people looking for a partner with a supposed superior gender such as Omega or Alpha. 

 

Oh but no, not everyone.  Yuuri was different. As cliche as that sounded to Viktor, it was all too true. Yuuri was protective the day he saw the scar on Viktor’s neck. Yuuri had treated him like a human being ever since that day.  And when he fell into his heat Yuuri treated him as gentle as a flower. That was enough to prove his difference from others. Viktor opened his draw and pulled out the small piece of paper, bringing it close to his face to read it.

 

Again, he found himself wiping at the ink as if it wasn’t really there.

 

_ He really gave me that offering… _

 

“Doggie!” Viktor jumped as a little kid with bouncy curls wearing a heavy snow coat came crashing into his classroom. Makkachin stood up and gently headbutted the little girl who erupted into giggled as Makka licked her. Viktor was quick to put the paper back in the draw because if there was a kid, it meant Yuuri would be following soon. 

 

“Macy, what did I tell you about running off?” Yuuri panted before he stepped in the classroom to catch his breath. He notice the little girl tuffling at Viktor’s dog’s floppy ears. Viktor could hear the horrified gasp. “Macy, it’s rude to pet someone’s dog without asking, sweetie.” He came over to get ready to grab her away and Viktor could see her look so sad when Yuuri pulled her away. 

 

He called out, stopping Viktor, keeping his eyes locked on the gorgeous browns of Yuuri’s, “I-it’s okay. Makka’s not on duty right now, she’s on break.”

 

Macy giggled, looking at the beautiful man with silver hair, “Makka’s her name? She has the same hair as me! Look Katsulee! Look!” The little girl bounced on her toes before ruffling Makka’s fur with pure excitement. Viktor chuckled, noticing the mispronunciation of the Japanese man’s name.

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Nikiforov, she’s been really hyper all day.” Yuuri leaned against the door, still trying to catch his breath.

 

“It’s not a problem, Mr. Katsulee,” Viktor tried to hold in his snort of laughter but it erupted out, catching him off guard.   _ What was that? _

 

“Oh ha ha,” Yuuri teases back. “I might as well go to the courthouse to change my name. The little ones can never get it right.”  His eyes cast over to Viktor and he’s quick to look down to pile up his papers to clean off his desk. “Still on the clock?”

 

“No, no. I was resting for a bit before I headed home...It’s been a long week after coming out to my students.” Viktor watched Makkachin play with the girl, making sure both weren’t too rough. He knew Makka wouldn’t hurt a fly, but wanted to make sure the little girl didn’t hurt the older dog.  Macy just buried her head into the fluffy fur that muddled her bubbly laughter. He could feel Yuuri staring at him and it only made him blush every so lightly, making him babble up something as a distraction. “Waiting on one more parent to pick up their kid?”

 

It took Yuuri a minute to respond but he hummed as he took his coat off. “Yeah, her mother got caught in traffic and her father isn’t off work yet. She’s been hyper all day, I’m surprised you haven’t heard me running in the hallway to catch her.” 

 

When he heard Yuuri’s husky chuckle, Viktor felt a shiver run up his spine. He tidied up his desk a bit longer, trying his hardest to not let Yuuri flood his mind. Trying not to think of the taunting scent of the Alpha floating off of him. He was saved when Macy’s mom walked into the room to gather her daughter.  His thoughts of Yuuri were dashed as Macy screamed with excitement at her mother, and dragging her to Makkachin who happily wagged her tail in greeting.

 

“Mama, look! She’s so cute!” Macy’s voice hitch ten times higher on the last word.

 

The mother apologized for running late, thanking Yuuri for looking after her child. She didn’t bother to acknowledge Viktor in the room at all. He didn’t pay any mind to the woman tucking her thick, long hair behind her ear.  He didn’t pay attention to her as she giggled unnecessarily loudly like Yuuri and she were alone in the room. And he definitely didn’t pay attention as she talked with pouted lips, rubbing her hands up Yuuri’s arm.

 

He didn’t notice any of that  _ at all.  _

 

It probably was a teacher/parent thing Yuuri was used to seeing. He would say it did not bother him but when he caught himself rubbing the end of his hair that only passed his ears, he frowned remembering what he had lost. 

 

“I should get going,” Viktor hums lowly, throwing his coat on before he reach for his keys off to the side.

 

The woman's voice popped up while Viktor looped the Makka's leash around his wrist.

 

“I should get going too! Again, thank you so much Mr. Katsuki.” She held Macy's hand as she passed Yuuri at the door then turns around. 

 

“I'll walk you to your car, I’m heading out as well.” Yuuri prompted.

 

Viktor looks up from his desk and caught the woman glaring past Yuuri at him.  He blinked and saw Yuuri’s face, looking to him.

 

_ Oh, me!  You were offering to walk me out. _  He smiled his appreciation to the man.

 

The woman plastered her best, fakest smile on her over painted lips.  Turing to Yuuri she tried to make her voice inviting, “Have a good Friday.”

 

“Thanks, you too.”  He waved her off, friendly but clearly not interested in accepting her invitation.

 

She huffed and walked out, practically dragging Macy behind her.  Viktor chuckled a little realizing she was clearly upset that he was getting walked to his car when that’s all she wanted.

 

When Yuuri had his back turned to put on his coat back on, Viktor would be lying if he said he wasn't smiling at Yuuri's kind gesture.

 

The walk down the hall had him in his thoughts. In such a quiet space with Yuuri next to him, an Alpha man. Alone. 

 

Yuuri didn’t force him to talk like Alec made him do when Viktor would grow quite like this. Yuuri allowed him to think; he had stayed with him when he fell quiet all week. Yuuri allowed him to think the day he push his email in the palm of his hand when Viktor was at his worst. Currently, he was not at his worse but he's definitely not at his greatest either. He’s Learning, growing, properly coping.

 

A rough journey to get where he is now and it was all because of his body finally giving up on his suppressants and Yuuri's support and presence. 

 

On his end, Yuuri had been reaching out to help Viktor for a reason that he doesn't fully understand. Helping him to erase his harsh side of childhood, deleting the painful memories of his ex. Trying to overcome his fears and insecurities to become a good Omega.

 

Become a good mate for an Alpha he knows could care for him.

 

_ What can I give him? How much trust am I willing to hand over? I want to try again.  _

 

“Yuuri?” Viktor's voice was almost lost in the wind of the snow squall that had picked up as they entered the parking lot.

 

Thankfully Yuuri heard him, singing a “Yes” and giving Viktor all his attention.

 

They reached Viktor's car and the omega began to panic. He knew Yuuri was going to be around the school waiting patiently for an answer.  He knew Yuuri would be around when he figured out what he wanted. But now Viktor felt like he was running out of time. He was desperate to ask, but in his fear of asking Yuuri what he really wanted to ask, all that came out was, “Um, thank you for walking me to my car.”

 

_ He’s not going to hurt you...He said he would never hurt you. Ask him! _

 

“Not a problem!” Yuuri grinned and it was bright enough to melt the ice he stood on as well as Viktor’s heart. “I hope you and Makka get home safely. Heard a bigger storm is hitting tonight.”

 

Viktor faded Yuuri’s words out as he watched him talk. That annoying fluttering in his chest came back when he noticed Yuuri's cheeks flush red from the cold wind. Snowflakes sticking to his glasses and ink black hair. The cold air causing tiny clouds to float away from his mouth and it made Viktor stare at his lips. 

 

_ I want to try again. _

 

“Ask me out…” Viktor blurted out without thinking, interrupting Yuuri. He was embarrassed by his awkward phrasing, mortified that he cut Yuuri off, but he knew he didn’t want to take back what he said.  He stood there, letting the words hang in the air as he watch Yuuri's eyes grow wide. It made Viktor think he might have rushed this and scared Yuuri off by being blunt. “You said you wanted to protect me and I can accept that but I feel like it's only fair for us to know each other and-”

 

“Viktor?”

 

Viktor eyelashes batted and he felt like he was starting to panic because “That was stupid of me to ask. Forget that I-”

 

“Viktor.”  Yuuri’s voice was firm, but not commanding.  It cut directly through his panic. His eyes focused on Yuuri’s face as the other man continued, “I don’t think it's stupid. Not at all.”

 

When their eyes meet, Viktor felt like the bright grin the young Alpha displayed made his knees weak, his heart stutter.

 

“Are you free tomorrow evening?” Yuuri stood in front of him, his smile growing softer. Big brown eyes sparkle as he sway with his hands in his black trench coat pockets.

 

It left Viktor baffled because  _ oh my god, I told an Alpha to ask me out.   _ He could have asked Yuuri out himself but he wanted him to understand that this is something Viktor wanted.

 

Something he felt like he needed. 

 

“Or sometimes next week if tomorrow feels too fast for you?” Yuuri offers and Viktor shook his head quickly. 

 

“No! I'm free tomorrow...Tomorrow evening sounds...good.” Viktor knew if he said yes to next week he would find some way to dodge Yuuri. What he just did was impulsive, without thinking.

 

Yuuri didn't respond.  He turned on his heels to head to his own car. Viktor watched with a horrid sinking feeling, then Yuuri called over his shoulder, “It's a date, Nikiforov.” 

 

“With Katsuki or Katsulee?” Viktor joked through the horrible shakes he was having due to shock. However, even in his shock  _ he joked  _ and it makes Yuuri turn around with a goofy smirk, the same one he did at their very first district meeting when he got water spilled on him then told Viktor that water doesn't stain.

 

“The one who can make you smile like that more often.” Yuuri sweet talks him and it leaves Viktor stunned, questioning if his grin was insanely noticeable. He heard Yuuri snicker, as he turned back around to head to his car, waving goodbye to him and Makka. 

 

He mindlessly put Makka in the back seat, letting her rest on the small pallet. When he shut the door, he watched Yuuri drive off.

 

He leaned against the car, still trying to grasp what just happened. When the realization hits, he found himself clasping his hand over his mouth, only to dramatically gasp when he remembers he doesn't have Yuuri's cell number. 

 

He quickly opens the door again to clip Makkachin back on her collar as he decides to make his way back in the school, heading to his class.

 

The tiny slip of paper in his desk still sat there and  _ finally _ he plugged the number into his cell and marked it under “Katsuki”. 

 

The man who is can make him smile... _ like that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Macy's mother....the nerve of some people aha! 
> 
> Huge thanks to all my readers for sticking around as well as my beta reader, as always! So many comments and kudos, giving me a good kick to continue. 
> 
> See y'all next chapter with their first date! 
> 
> Stay golden!


End file.
